(Closed) FMIL making me feel guilty over gift. :(

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

That’s kind of you to put it toward the wedding.  Maybe still buy yourself a *little* something (new shirt, pair of shoes, etc. for your upcoming new job), and hopefully that will put her a little more at ease, and you’ll be using it on a gift for the future!

Post # 4
1734 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

PP is right — divert a little of it towards a splurge for yourself, and send Future Mother-In-Law a pic of yourself wearing it or using it.


Post # 5
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think the suggestions of the PPs are very thoughtful and gracious, and that’s probably what I would do. However, for principle’s sake (and if it makes you feel less guilty), I believe you are right – it was a gift to you and they told you you could do whatever you wanted with it. They can’t reasonably be disappointed or try to make conditions after the fact.

Post # 6
7653 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I agree with PPs. You technically did use it for yourself. The wedding is something for you 🙂 I agree that maybe buying a pair of shoes or jewelry would be a good idea, but you are not wrong in spending it on what you did.

Post # 7
4194 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

You can use the money however you want, but I can see her disappointment that a gift for you is being spent on both you and FI- they gave you this gift to celebrate one monumental occasion in your life. They’ve probably planned other gifts for the wedding.

I used birthday money from my Dad to buy a new outfit for the rehearsal dinner, but that not a one time use.

Could you use an interview suit/business clothes/ interview bag/new purse, etc?- anything for this next phase in your life?


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