Post # 1
I have been on cloud 9 recently after deciding we want a destination wedding in Mexico. I have always pictured myself getting married barefoot in the sand with a small group of people witnessing our marriage.
Well my FI told me today that his mom was PISSED about the idea of a DW and was throwing a tantrum about people not being able to go. My FI and I are going to pay for his mom and dad (all expenses) but for everyone else, its up to them.
We are giving them at least a years notice to plan for travel and arrangement and such. I know EVERYONE isnt going to be able to make it, but i have talked with most of my close family members and friends and they were all super excited about it. I am just a little sad that my FMIL is so against it and she is a big part of the wedding.
Any ideas or suggestions? Did anyone else go through this?
Post # 3
You just have to give her time. My family freaked the F out when I told them we were having a destination wedding. Now, 4 months later, they have calmed down- for the most part. You just have to let them get used to the idea. My main piece of advice is to continue being happy- this is a really special time for your and your FI- don’t let them ruin it!! Someone would have something to say no matter what you decided to do.
Post # 4
I agree – give her time to come around. You shouldn’t sacrifice what you and your FI want because she is upset right now. It is very generous of you two to be covering their expenses as well!
As for other family, no not everyone will want to pay to attend a DW. Perhaps to appease your FMIL regarding this issue, you could all agree to have some kind of party/reception/bbq when you get home to celebrate with your friends and family who could not make it to Mexico.
Post # 5
I’m sure she will eventually get used to the idea. Once it gets closer to the date, she will start getting excited as well; its just unfortunate that she can’t get past what she had envisioned for your wedding and just be happy for what you (and FI) envisioned for it.
Post # 6
Yeah, I mean I guess she will have to get over it. I just wish she would be happy and excited about it like she was before. This is how my FI and I’s conversation went
Me: Why is she so upset? She wont be mad once she gets there and feels her toes in the sand!
Fi: Its my mom, she can complain about anything…
Me: Well she can complain in her room then.
His dad is soooo excited to go because he really wants to go snorkeling in the clear waters, at least most of us are on board I guess!
Post # 7
Both my and his parents are excited about our DW, but we have been warned by his mom that his grandma will probably freak out and throw a fit. His mom’s advise for us: “She just needs to vent and feel like she has a say. Do what YOU want for YOUR wedding!”, I think that was great advice!
Post # 8
Our parents are all excited about the DW (we’re also paying our parents’ expenses). All our family has taken the news pretty well. We’re from different parts of the country so one side of the family would have had to travel anyway if we had it in the States.
Post # 9
I agree with everyone else about giving it time for her to adjust and change her expectations. My mom had the same concern about all the people who wouldn’t be able to travel so far for the wedding, but after some time and after we explained that we had already considered this and understood it, it was fine. It also helped that so many of our relatives were excited too!
Post # 10
Def she’ll come round. Are you going to have a reception at home then after? That would prob settle her worries about the people who wouldn’t travel…