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FMIL Problems!

posted 2 years ago in Family
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    1.
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    112 posts
    Blushing bee
    Miss Sayrah    May 30, 2010   Charlotte, NC

    Alright Bees! I need some advice about how to deal with the FMIL. I love the FH's family and they have been nothing but wonderful to both he and I BUT... my FMIL is suddenly wanting to be all "in control" of a lot of wedding details... like the ones that have already been decided! For example, she and the FFIL have mentioned having their great neice (whom I have never met and the FH has no relationship with) as the flower girl several times. Not a huge deal, but I already have a flower girl and don't need another one. If it makes a difference, my FH and I are footing the bill for the wedding with some help from my parents (who have not interjected their opinions about anything in this way... just basically told us to do whatever we would like with their contribution). What can I say to end the issue politely? Thanks in advance ladies!

     
    2.
    Hostess
    1,913 posts
    Buzzing bee
    IA_Snowflake    August 29, 2009   Missouri Valley, IA

    As far as the additional flower girl, I would just explain that your wedding party has already been decided and you'd like to keep the numbers where they are.  If she really wants to help, why don't you suggest some areas where she could help where things are not decided yet (cake, band, etc, maybe).

     
    3.
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    Buzzing bee
    Lees4308    March 13, 2010   Panama City Beach, FL.

    Oh gosh, this is definitely a hard issue to address. Especially since it's not YOUR parents, it's his. Honestly, in this situation I don't know if I could personally go up to FMIL & FFIL and be like "Look, this is the way it is..."

    But, what I WOULD do is talk to FI & tell him what's going on...and make sure you're both on the same page. It'd be a lot easier for him to talk to him then you would, because that's their son & they love him...& while I'm sure they love you too, they may not take what you have to say very lightly & may be insulted.

    That's the only advice I have for you as of now :( I just tried to put myself in your shoes! Good luck girl, I know it can be stressful because you want to make everyone happy.

     
    4.
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    Buzzing bee
    Lees4308    March 13, 2010   Panama City Beach, FL.

    I also agree with @IA Snowflake, when she brings up the flower girl issue you COULD just casually say something about you're already having one, but instead of just totally blowing her off, you could then suggest other things you'd love her help with. Good advice!

     
    5.
    Member
    112 posts
    Blushing bee
    Miss Sayrah    May 30, 2010   Charlotte, NC

    anks for the great advice girls... it is so stressful to deal with these little issues without hurting anyone's feelings. I talked to the FH and he agreed with me about the flower girl episode and ended up talking to his mom about it. He just said that he basically told her to butt out - in a nice way... so hopefully there won't be any more issues with that.

    @Lees4308 - I could NEVER go up to them and just tell them what I think either lol That would be very nerve-racking... glad the FH did it for me lol

     

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