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I think that your SO has a point...she may never be happy with the woman that ends up to be perfect for her son. She seems to be just finding little things for her to grasp on to that "bother her"...and telling your SO about it. I wouldnt worry about it too much...if this is how she is going to be...then there is not much that you can do...but the next time she comes maybe you can make a little something for her to eat just to shut her up..lol.
eh. In-laws can be that way. my MIL has all types of secret expectations of me that only come to light when there is an issue - i didnt wash the dishes, i didnt make dinner, etc. luckily, she lives a state away. ignore her crazy attempts for control and work on keeping the relationship with BF strong.
I am still at a loss over it. I'm going to try to not take this personally, but I know how much it bothers Mr. Tacos because he has a close relationship with his parents. Bummer!
Maybe bake her some cookies and send them to her thanking her for the lovely visit. Apologize, even though you shouldn't have to, for not being totally accommodating to her, with the reason that you were so worried about her son that you just couldn't think straight while her son was having his procedure.
Could you speak with the FMIL directly? Have a girl's day and mention how much you love her son and admire her for raising such a good person...flattery will get you places sometimes.
I like noritake's suggestion. I too have an FMIL who's ranted about how i'm never going to be good enough. Half the time I ignore that she exists (when i'm not around her) and half the time (when i'm around her) I KILL HER WITH KINDNESS. I haven't given a reason for that lady to say one bad word about me. Granted, you didn't know this time what she was talking about, but really, she's going to look like a petty fool if you're always smiling and friendly and doing nice things for her.
Just, you know, vent to us behind her back :)
Next time she comes, offer her food every 3 minutes. haha that will shut her up. Even when she says no, ask again! ha
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I don't know what happened! FMIL visited us a few weeks ago, and apparently she was "dropping hints" that she was hungry and I didn't get it. So now two weeks later she told Mr. Tacos that she was upset every time we visit her she cooks, but when she comes over we don't?
She came over the day before Mr. Tacos had a procedure requiring him to NOT eat, and with his blessing I made food for myself a few hours before FMIL showed up. I have no idea why she is still harboring anger towards me, and judging by Mr. Tacos conversations this weekend I have a feeling she said a lot more about me than he is relaying.
For some reason, he's now on a crusade for me to be BFF with his dad. He made a comment that he realized his mother would never be happy with someone for his son, which floored me because she hasn't 100% been rude or mean. But she has been taking phone calls in the middle of our conversations and things do seem a little strained from time to time.
Now I feel ticked! I don't even offically LIVE with Mr. Tacos, I don't understand why she would think I should prepare a meal? Especially before he has a procedure?
Does anyone have any advice about that? He's also being weird now, teetering on the fence about getting engaged later rather than sooner. I didn't do anything wrong or to the contrary, and I've always been nice.