FMIL RSVP with uninvited guest…What to do?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1872 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Your fiance should just tell her that her invitation was for one person and the guest list is full, so you guys will be unable to accomodate the other people she RSVPed for. (Why can’t the daughter she lives with drive her?)

Post # 5
753 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2001

Is it a professional driver or a friend of hers? If is a hired driver, I would say that they shouldn’t come.

Post # 6
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It’s your FMIL. Let it go and let her bring someone. Not worth potential drama

Post # 7
6969 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

It’s his mother. I think I would let this one slide.

Post # 8
1234 posts
Bumble bee

I think it’s a perfectly valid reason. Neither her nor his sister can drive, so what do you want them to do? Maybe suggest she carpool with someone who is coming but if she can’t then there’s nothing you can do. If this were a random friend I wouldn’t let it slide, but it’s his mother. She should be there.

Post # 9
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

How many friends did your mother invite? Can any of them drive her?

Post # 10
603 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

she probably should have asked you before just RSVPing with extras, but i agree with pp – since it’s his mother maybe just let it slide.

Post # 11
1076 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014


@Westwood:  +1

Pick your battles, honey. This one may not be worth it. At least it’s just 1 and not 2 or more.

Post # 12
38 posts
  • Wedding: August 2016

I agree – pretty rude of her to invite the person without at least clearing it with you first. But… I also agree with trying to limit the amount of drama with the future inlaws. Is she dating this person (I know you said not seriously involved, but perhaps casually seeing)? If she’s not, and it’s truly just the issue of needing a driver, perhaps you could get someone else who’s going to the wedding to pick her up, as a favour to you.

Post # 13
2173 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

@hmwagner1454:  If it’s a professional driver like a hired driver…  I’d say he/she wouldn’t be invited anyway.  (Do you invite your limo drivers to the reception?  This isn’t any different.)

If it’s a friend…  I’d be sure to ask who this person is, and try your best to make sure it’s someone you know.  Suggest alternatives if necessary.  How small is the wedding?  It might be awkward for essentially a stranger to come.

I know there are legitimate reasons, but I’m curious… Why does your FMIL not have a license?

Post # 14
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

When I was planning a wedding a few years ago, my FMIL wanted to invite an additional 20+ people. (They were not paying a single cent toward the wedding). We said no, she said that she wouldn’t come if we didn’t invite these people. The wedding ended up getting cancelled.

Just let this one slide.

Post # 15
1242 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

@hmwagner1454:  It’s his mother not some random guest or cousin. Give her the plus one. Also, you mentioned that you have no one else to drive her… I would say it’s kind of insensitive of you to not let her bring a plus one as her driver. It’s ONE extra person – for HIS mother.

Post # 16
409 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

It’s his mom and 14 year old sister. Either let them bring the person who is willing to drive them to their son/brothers wedding, or pay their cab fare both ways. 

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