Post # 1
When I sent out my wedding invitations I sent one to my FMIL and my FI’s sister who both live at the same address. We decided not to give either of them a +1 because they are not in serious relationships and would be attending together.
I received a Facebook message from my FMIL today saying that she filled out the RSVP card and RSVP’d for 3 people….we invited 2! Her reasoning is that she would need someone to drive her because she does not have a license.
I feel like this is incredibly rude considering that my parents are paying for the wedding! She has never offered to help with anything (including traditional groom family activities like the rehearsal dinner). We are trying to keep the guest list small because we are on a budget- that my parents set. I don’t want to spend money to have my FMIL’s “driver” there!!!!
Should myself of my FI say something to her about it? Should I just let it go? I don’t have any other transportation ideas for her- it’s too far to ask anyone in the bridal party to drive the day of the wedding….any advice is appreciated. Right now I am just outraged!
Post # 3
Your fiance should just tell her that her invitation was for one person and the guest list is full, so you guys will be unable to accomodate the other people she RSVPed for. (Why can’t the daughter she lives with drive her?)
Post # 4
Her daughter is not old enough – she is only 14.
Post # 5
Is it a professional driver or a friend of hers? If is a hired driver, I would say that they shouldn’t come.
Post # 6
It’s your FMIL. Let it go and let her bring someone. Not worth potential drama
Post # 7
It’s his mother. I think I would let this one slide.
Post # 8
I think it’s a perfectly valid reason. Neither her nor his sister can drive, so what do you want them to do? Maybe suggest she carpool with someone who is coming but if she can’t then there’s nothing you can do. If this were a random friend I wouldn’t let it slide, but it’s his mother. She should be there.
Post # 9
How many friends did your mother invite? Can any of them drive her?
Post # 10
she probably should have asked you before just RSVPing with extras, but i agree with pp – since it’s his mother maybe just let it slide.
Post # 11
Pick your battles, honey. This one may not be worth it. At least it’s just 1 and not 2 or more.
Post # 12
I agree – pretty rude of her to invite the person without at least clearing it with you first. But… I also agree with trying to limit the amount of drama with the future inlaws. Is she dating this person (I know you said not seriously involved, but perhaps casually seeing)? If she’s not, and it’s truly just the issue of needing a driver, perhaps you could get someone else who’s going to the wedding to pick her up, as a favour to you.
Post # 13
@hmwagner1454: If it’s a professional driver like a hired driver… I’d say he/she wouldn’t be invited anyway. (Do you invite your limo drivers to the reception? This isn’t any different.)
If it’s a friend… I’d be sure to ask who this person is, and try your best to make sure it’s someone you know. Suggest alternatives if necessary. How small is the wedding? It might be awkward for essentially a stranger to come.
I know there are legitimate reasons, but I’m curious… Why does your FMIL not have a license?
Post # 14
When I was planning a wedding a few years ago, my FMIL wanted to invite an additional 20+ people. (They were not paying a single cent toward the wedding). We said no, she said that she wouldn’t come if we didn’t invite these people. The wedding ended up getting cancelled.
Just let this one slide.
Post # 15
@hmwagner1454: It’s his mother not some random guest or cousin. Give her the plus one. Also, you mentioned that you have no one else to drive her… I would say it’s kind of insensitive of you to not let her bring a plus one as her driver. It’s ONE extra person – for HIS mother.
Post # 16
It’s his mom and 14 year old sister. Either let them bring the person who is willing to drive them to their son/brothers wedding, or pay their cab fare both ways.