Post # 1
My partner called my Future Mother-In-Law to talk and they ended up arguing on the phone (as usual) and she ended up saying a lot of horrible things judging me and my family and then ended it yelling that she wished he was still with his ex and not me before hanging up on my partner.
This along with other things has made me decide to distance myself from her.
Am I wrong to distance myself from his mother after such a comment?
Post # 3
@sheltervet: Why did you get brought up at all? That would be my deciding factor.
Post # 4
Very familiar to me. It’s come to the point that I only show face when needed. I tried to take the higher road for years, but it never paid off. Now I try to stay polite and accept the situation as is.
I think distancing yourself isn’t a bad idea, especially if you might say something you will regret. Do whatever will make you and your partner most comfortable. Good luck!
Post # 5
How strange. I’m so sorry.
Post # 6
that’s going to be awkward on the next visit.
why do families need to act like this? i never understood it.
Post # 7
@mypinkshoes: Yes, exactly! Next visit is supposed to be Christmas and she’s supposed to throw a wedding shower for us right after x-mas. Frankly, I don’t want one (never did) and especially don’t now! Oh…and my family will be there too (and they know what she said).
Also, I’m not close with his SIL either because she and I have nothing in common and she’s not someone I even have respect for. My partner doesn’t want me to invite them to the teeny tiny destination wedding we’re having unless he thinks I’ll be comfortable and happy and myself (which I can guarantee I won’t be around them). Now stuck in a hard place… I feel like I am completely unwelcome in their family 🙁
Post # 8
@sheltervet: No, you are not wrong to distance yourself. The only real question will be whether your FH will do the same.
Post # 9
You’re not wrong for wanting to distance yourself until you get a proper apology. But I do think it’s wrong to tell your family what she said (which I’m assuming you did from your last post saying they know what she said), because it’s just going to make things more difficult – especially if you do move past this down the road and it comes to holidays and kid’s birthdays and stuff where they’ll have to see eachother, and your family will still have her comments in their head.
Post # 10
@sheltervet: Keep a good distance but be polite when you see her, I know it will be tough to do but it’s for the best. Plus it shows you are the better person in the long run. You are getting married whether she likes it or not and she needs to show a little more respect for you and her son, your FH. She obviously has some issues that she needs to work out for her crazy self and it’s unfortunate that she said what she did. I’m sorry you are going through this, try to keep your head up!
Post # 11
Keep your distance but be sure that when ever you do have to be around them that you and your Fiance present yourself as a cohesive unit. That way, maybe just maybe, Future Mother-In-Law might one day understand the ex is staying an ex and you’re the card she’s been dealt.
Post # 12
Yep, totally understand. I think you are totally in the right. My Future Mother-In-Law has basically said the exact same thing about me, my family, and fiance’s high school girlfriend. She’s also said many other horrible things (such as a 3-page letter to fiance that started out saying she should have had an abortion with him).
I would and have distanced myself. I have not spoken to my Future Mother-In-Law since February 2012. She just came to visit my fiance this past weekend, and I left the house without saying one word to her and spent the whole day out. I won’t have anything to do with her.
As far as our wedding, any part of the ceremony that involves the groom’s parents is being cut, and I feel no remorse about it after the things she has done and said.