FMIL Shower Etiquette

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
42101 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Jamie9008:  As she has already expressed interest in attending, I see no reason not to invite FMIL and FSIL. They may very well want to meet more of your family and friends.If they are not concerned about the travel, why would you be?

Is there a reason you don’t want them to be there, other than what you have stated?

Post # 4
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

if they’re willing to travel, don’t question it.

Post # 5
6448 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

All of the showers that I have been to has both moms there even if it was just technically for one side of the family. If they are willing to travel I think they should be invited.

Post # 7
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Etiquette wise – YOU aren’t inviting anyone. Whoever is throwing the shower invites people, but you probably get to give them a list of people to invite/not invite.


That being said, you gotta invite her. Is it really worth hurting her feelings by not? You think she complained about tuxes? Just wait until she complains about you….as a person….for not inviting her….

You don’t want to go there.

If she doesn’t approve of wedding details, then don’t tell her about them. She can’t disapprove if she doesn’t know. If she says anything at the shower a simple “we are really excited for our (flowers, venue, wahtever she disapproves of)” and move on.

This woman is in your life until you either get divorced or she dies. Make nice as soon as you can. You aren’t the first to have a FMIL who didn’t like the decisions a couple made about a wedding.

Post # 8
1030 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I find that a bit strange that she expects to be invited but yet isn’t inviting your Mum etc to the one she’s throwing…

Post # 9
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Jamie9008:  Honestly, if she makes you that comofrtable I would have declined the shower she wants to throw (unless your Fi is going to be there).

However, I think it is up to whoever is hosting your shower to invite. I would do it becuase your families are becoming one, and it would be a good opportunity for everyone to get together. I hightly doubt your MIl is going to step on any toes in your family’s home with everyone there, and if she does I assume she will get a huge dose of reality from your family.

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