(Closed) FMIL…. So upset and need advice

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
9917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Are she and her husband paying for the rehearsal dinner?  Maybe it’s best to just…let it go.  If you are paying, however, I would put my foot down.

 

Where in PA and where in Maine??

Post # 4
Member
46160 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Take a breath. It’s not the end of the world. If she is hosting the rehearsal dinner and paying for it, she gets to make the final decision. It would have been courteous of her to inform you of her final decision, but maybe she felt unheard in your previous discussions.

Don’t let something as unimportant as this ( in the final scheme of things) cause you distress.

Post # 6
Member
2589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

As annoying as it might be, if she is paying, its her call.  Let it be water under the bridge at this point! 10 days!! 🙂

Post # 7
Member
1994 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

The situation really sucks, but all that matters is that you’re marrying the one you love at the end of the day. Don’t get caught up in all of the frivolous details. And I guarantee you that everything outside of your actual vows will just be a frivolous detail. 

Post # 8
Member
275 posts
Helper bee

Those last few weeks before the wedding, stuff is going to piss you off. Don’t be like me and act like a brat. You’ll regret it after the wedidng is done, I promise. Even though it seems like it now, it’s just not anything to get worked up over. TRUST ME! I have some serious regrets on how I acted. It’s all stress talking. Back seat that stress and just enjoy your day. Smile and tell everyone how happy you are to see them. It’s much better than making a fuss that everyone will remember for years to come.

Post # 10
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Summer82:  ARE YOU LIVING MY LIFE RIGHT NOW?

 

My wedding is a few months away but I amhaving the same exact issue! Not only that, FMIL will LIE and say “oh it’s too late I already sent invitations” or “oh I thought you said I could do what I wanted”. LIAR.

 

Ever notice that FMIL is just one letter off from FML?

Post # 11
Member
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Summer82:  Ugh, my FMIL is doing this too!! Yes, she’s paying for it but seriously, if she invites our bridal party and our families – that’s the entire wedding audience.  We might as well just get married at the dress rehearsal and save our $$, know what I mean?  They just don’t get it.

Ultimately, realize that this is one last detail that you don’t have to think about.  Let her roll with it and think about the fact that you just get to show up.  Ahhhhhh, stress relieving, no?  (that’s what I have to do or I’ll start getting bitter again)

Post # 12
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@WillyNilly:  What the h*** is it that makes them act this way? I think mine feels like she should be the star of the show, and if she just quietly does what she wants, even though we have said not to do it, we’ll just let it happen and hush about it. Aren’t parents supposed to be understanding or something?

Post # 13
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

If she’s paying, she gets to invite whomever she wants. It would be different if you were footing the bill for the RD but you’re not. There are plenty of other things that you should be worrying about at this stage in the game so I’d really just try to get over it. Maybe it’s just me but I don’t see this as that big of a deal. 

Post # 14
Member
924 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I’m sorry that you and other bees are having this problem.  Makes me glad that in the UK having a rehearsal dinner isn’t something that seems to have caught on! 

I’ve been married before, and the night before the wedding we ended up getting fish and chips and having a drink with a couple of friends.  My IL’s were too knackered from work and wanted to rest up for the big day! 

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