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Maybe she needs to hear it from her son? Perhaps if she knows that this is a decision that the two of you arrived at together, she will back off a bit. Good luck!
That venue is definitely worth the battle! That observatory is AWESOME!
I agree with ready2b- have your FI tell her that you are both heart set on the observatory and it's set in stone.
Wow, your venue is incredible! I wouldn't want to change it either! Is she helping pay for the wedding or recption? And have you already paid a deposit on the observatory? I think if parents are helping pay they should get a bigger part in the decision. Also, if your side of the guest list has more people than her side, I could understand why she might be pushing you so hard to change.
However, if you have split up the guest list equally, or if she's not contributing to the expenses, I don't think it's very fair for her to push you to change your mind. If you have paid a deposit on the observatory you can always use the excuse that you'll be losing money by moving the wedding to the clubhouse. Otherwise, I would have my Fi talk to his mom about why you want the wedding there, what it means to BOTH of you, etc... If all else fails, just ignore her hints for the next couple months. Then you can start using the excuse that it's too late to change anything! 
OMG first your venue is GORGEOUS and the photos you will be able to get from there are going to be priceless. I would have your fi talk to her that you (as a couple) have decided on the venue already and would appreciate it if she would stop trying to make you change. Besides if that observatory was near me I would have found a way to cut my 300 guest list.
Jeez louise, what a venue! Those pictures of it are gorgeous and so dramatic!
As other posters have said, if this is what you and your FI have decided on, maybe he should let her know that you are not willing to change it. It may be easier to hear, "just drop it, mom" from him than from you, and that is what she needs to hear.
I agree that your venue is WORTH a battle! It's GORGEOUS! I'm jealous. :)
I also agree with ready2bmrsd that perhaps her son should tell her. GOOD LUCK!!!
I love your venue, and I agree with everyone; it is definately worth a fight. This is a place that has a lot of meaning for you, and maybe if you gently share that with your FMIL, it will help her understand.
She may want to show off her beautiful new daughter-in-law to everyone in the world, and if that is the case, maybe she can host a day after brunch at the country club with those who are important to her.
Either way, stand your ground!
I'm sorry, what was your question? I was busy drooling over your venue.
Seriously, though. That location rocks! Is there any way to have some tables outdoors as well? Could the patio area serve as part of the dinner seating? Not sure how that would work, but just a suggestion.
I agree that your venue is awesome and the club, well, it's certainly not my style, and judging from the venue you selected, I'd say it's not yours either.
It sounds like you've already put money down on the vista. There's your angle--and I agree, it's 10 times better if it comes from her son: "We'd love to add X Y and Z to the guest list, but as you know we're already stressed for space and it's too late to change the location because we've already put down a hefty deposit. Hopefully we'll find a way to celebrate with them soon."
Good luck!
Do not back down from this one! That is an AMAZING venue! 
Even if she is helping pay for the wedding, it does no good if you're not going to LOVE your day! I bet the people she wants to invite aren't even that close to you or your fiance, right? I'm guessing that you would have made it a point to consider these people in the first place if they were really important to you.
Definitely get your fiance to help you fight this battle, though!
Good luck!
We haven't put money down yet, they are really laid back there. I think they might have one or two weddings a year so they said they could hold our date no problem. Thanks for all the suggestions! I like the idea of having Mr. Vista talk to her, after all he has all the experiance! Thanks Ladies!!!
That is such a beautiful venue I can understand you not wanting to change.
Why is the MIL wanting the change?
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Completely random and unrelated to your query, but where in Oregon is that located? It looks beautiful!
I agree with others, have your FI talk to his mom and explain that it was a decision that both of you arrived at together. And you both feel that the venue you have already chosen, better represents you and your FI's personalities.
Agreed - your FI needs to explain to her very nicely to back off!
Your venue is spectacular!
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Do what makes you and your Fi happy... it's so hard to please everyone. Impossible, really!
From one Oregonian to another - don't give up on Vista House! If we could have had a smaller guest list, we would be doing it there. Instead, we're doing it a little farther down the road in Cascade Locks.
Good luck - have you explained to her what the venue means to you?
Your venue is incredible.
Ok this is like the nerdiest thing I have ever done... Has anyone seen 'Galaxy Quest'??? My uncle LOVES that movie. If you have seen it, you know what I am going to say next...
"Nnnnnnever give up.... nnnnnnever surrender!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6hlTb7AUj8
Keep up the good fight- a Golf Club versus the VISTA HOUSE?! gimme a break! She would be so luck to have a daughter in law who has such impeccable taste!!!
I agree that your FI needs to talk to his mother.
Unless she is paying for the entire wedding, it's unreasonable for her to dictate where your wedding or reception will be.
I agree with the others who say if FMIL wants more people there, perhaps she should organize another get-together after the wedding for those people to attend. It does get a little tricky if she's giving you a lot of money toward the wedding but quite honestly, this is the day for YOU and YOUR NEW HUSBAND, not her and her friends. Also, keeping the guest list smaller does cut down on overall cost, so you can always go with that argument (but also true what the others say that your FI needs to tell her that this is the venue you are using).
Another event after the wedding might be a good compromise to suit everyone involved.
I've already weighed in but I saw your response that you haven't put a deposit down so in the immortal words of another poster "lie". With a venue that beautiful with so much meaning and it being so beautiful (did I say that already? LOL). I say fib... or say it's always been your dream to be wed there and you can't help but be sad to change it. I agree with whoever said to see if she'd like to host a day after brunch with her added guests.
I wish you all the best... and to end with some more immortal words... (Channeling my inner Tom Petty).... DON'T BACK DOWN!!! (now that's stuck in my head *sigh*)
oh. my. goodness. you MUST be married at the Vista House! As you can see by my location I am a "part time Oregonian" ... I have been through the Scenic Highway a number of times and the vista house is absolutely GORGEOUS. Oh I'm so so jealous. Not only do I wish I could have a smaller guest list but it would be incredible to be married there! Tell your fiance to tell his mom to back off!!! (In the nicest way possible!)
I do wonder though, every time I have been up there it has been incredibly windy. I'm talking like I seriously thought I was going to blow away, windy. Do you think the wind will be an issue on the day of the wedding?? (I'm attaching two photos from my visit with my parents - 1 with a great view and 1 with my hair going CRAZY cause of the wind!)
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Sparkles--By Grabthar's hammer, that's an awesome reference!
Ok, on-topic--Has your FMIL not been out to the location? Because if she hasn't, my god, maybe seeing it in person will help her realize how incredible it is and how the view/venue totally makes up for keeping the wedding small.
Good luck! ^_^
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Lol thanks for all the support. Most of the time I feel good about it but every once in a while i start to wonder... should i move to have more people? You guys are all right, this is the place.
@mandalynn- it is east of portland about 30 minutes along the historic highway.
@Humarock- we basically plan to have chingnons secured with enough hairspray to work like glue!
@ spinning Jenny -She has been out there, I think she just thinks it will be too small, like it's not worth the trouble of having not enough people.
@everyone Thanks for making me feel better about this! The Bees are the best!
This venue is amazing! I think there's no way you should compromise that!! My FMIL suggested us changing venues, (so she could add to the guest list), but we stood our ground because our venue was important to us. I couldn't be happier about the decision.
You'll be glad you did this, because you can look back at the amazing photos and know you made the right decision! :)
I like the venue but weddings are about family (obviously this is my opinion) as much as they are about the couple. That's why you have them. So, for me it depends on (1) who's paying for what and (2) who is going to be able to come if you change it that wouldn't be able to come without the change, and (3) your "gut" instinct. The venue is beautiful though; I honestly hope you will be able to keep it because you sound very attached to it, and it's gorgeous!
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So my FMIL knows we have VERY tight space issues for our reception site. The max allowed in the building is 88 and our invite list is 95. But some people won't make it, and some are kids who will be with the babysitter so it's not going to end the wedding.
I have a suspicion she wants to add to the guest list because she has been trying to get me to change the location from the picture on top, (Vista House) an observatory in the Colombia river gorge built in the 1920's that I have loved since I was little- to the picture on the bottom;The Golf Clubhouse she is a member of.
So obviously I'm not going to change it, but I am super insulted! I am running out of ways to tell her NO WAY WILL I CHANGE!
So here is my question, is it worth the battle?
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