(Closed) FMIL Telling People You Are Engaged?!?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
533 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Hahaha, your MIL sounds sweet, and at least she is excited at the prospect of you marrying her son.  Most of the time I read stories where the MIL is not so thrilled!

The only person I had make comments was my grandma, and I think that was just so we could reassure her we would be getting married (in her books we were living in sin!).  I knew the comments were coming from a “good place”, but it still was super frustrating when you are waiting, and waiting, and waiting.

The only advice I can give is to laugh it off and make jokes about it. Although in your case, since your MIL is so excited, it might be worthwhile to use that to your advantage!

Post # 5
Member
533 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Very good!  The only thing worse for a man (I think) then having one woman put pressure on him, is having two women put pressure on him!!!!

Sorry, that sounds so evil, but I remember waiting, and it sucks!!!

Post # 7
Member
812 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I think it’s sweet. She obviously already thinks of you as part of the family.

My FI and I have been together for 5 years and just got engaged this past December 23rd, but FMIL has been introducing to me to extended family and their friends as Matt’s fiance for the last two years.

Post # 8
Member
1360 posts
Bumble bee

Lmao, my Mom does the same thing. She refuses to believe he hasn’t asked yet simply because we bought the ring together. I tried explaining that he wanted me involved in that process so I would get what I really loved…and that I still have NO idea when the actual proposal is happening. 

She loves my BF to death, though, so it’s understandable that she’s excited about our ‘engagement’. He was planning on taking the ‘rents to Cracker Barrel and then out for a day of fishing on his boat (Southern here, if you couldn’t tell), but my Mom found out and told me, “Why? We already know! He can just ask us at home, it’s cheaper!” Lol. Crazy mom.

His mother does the same thing….asking if we’re engaged and the date of our wedding. *facepalm* Mothers. Haha.

 

 

However, I have been dealing with a situation involving my friend. I told him (in confidence) that my BF had bought the ring but that we were NOT engaged and wouldn’t be until he asked. Then, my friend told ALL of our mutual friends, and I began recieving texts of “CONGRATS!” and “I’m so happy for y’all!” 

Ummmm…that’s nice, except we aren’t engaged. And it was certainly not fun having to tell them what was really going on. Now I feel like when we DO get engaged, it won’t be a surprise and it won’t be as special. I mean, I love my friend, but dang. Sometimes he can be a total jerk.

Post # 10
Member
1360 posts
Bumble bee

@MissCoCo EXACTLY! I just told them “I promise, I’ll call you as soon as he proposes! Quit freaking him, and me, out!” Hah.

Post # 11
Member
242 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I wish wish wish my FMIL was like that.  We’ve been engaged for over a year and I still hear people in their family circle call me his girlfriend.  Trust me, this is a good problem to have 🙂

Post # 13
Member
1279 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I think it is a good problem to have!! I think she was so excited she jumped the gun a touch!

Post # 14
Member
1328 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

My mom does the exact same thing!  My sister had to break the news to me (my mom casually told her during a phone call “oh your sister is getting married”).  When my SO and I decided to move in together she asked me if marriage was in the future and I of course said yes, but that in no way means that we’re engaged.  Given my mothers history of keeping “secrets” (she can’t, at all, can’t tell her anything), I’m sure by now she has told all of my extended family, family friends, her co-workers, etc.

I know she means well but it kind of makes it feel like the actual engagement will be less special.  I’m looking forward to being able to tell everyone when it happens, but I feel like by they’ll just be like, ummm haven’t you been engaged for like a year?

Post # 15
Member
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

My mom was at a neighbourhood ladies gathering a few months ago and told me that one of my childhood friends was engaged (the mother had told my mom).  I was like, really?  Because she didn’t mention anything on fb…..yeah, they’re not engaged at all!  I think the mom was just excited.  They have 3 girls and the other two are already married.

I didn’t mention it to the girl because I didn’t want her to feel embarrassed and we’re not that close.  Glad your SO is going to clear things up with her!  She does sound cute.

Post # 16
Member
79 posts
Worker bee

I have had a situation similiar to this! My FMIL is very wonderful and I love her to pieces, but I was not aware of what all she had been saying about town….. until my SO’s best friend from highschool crashed with them a summer to help out on their farm….the three of us were hanging out one night, and he asked me a very odd question…. “you guys would tell me if y’all were married right?”, I was very confused, but apparently, my FMIL has not been giving specifics out, but apparently for the last 3 years of our 5 year relationship has been reffering to me as her daughter in law, or her sons fiance, to just about anyone who asks about me, no wonder when people met me for the first time, they shook my left hand and seemed confused when they looked at it…

It also confusing because my SO’s dad refers to me as his daughter or his little girl, his girl, or his sweet-pea (SO has an older half sister, but i know his dad really wanted more kids and desperatley wanted a lil girl too, and my SO is his only child), so people either think we are brother and sister who look nothing alike or were married….neither are true!

very cute sentiments but it does bring up that we are not married yet, and sometimes brings up bitter feelings, but it is very cute, and i guesse id rather them claim me in that way than to hate me! I bet you were shocked that you apparently had a date though LOL! that is a little extreme! Wowsers! good luck to you!

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