- 5 years ago
- Wedding: August 2013
I don’t like to rant anywhere, and I have never done it here, but I need to vent. We were at my FMIL’s sister’s house for Christmas yesterday, and my Future Mother-In-Law was probably six glasses in on the wine. To be fair, I had also had probably three or four, and we were just chatting. All of a sudden, her best friend’s daughter comes up.
Background…a year or two into our relationship my Future Mother-In-Law mentioned that she thought of this woman as her son’s “soulmate” and that there would never be another woman who could compete with their relationship. At the time I just moved on and ignored it, even though it was hurtful, because I didn’t feel comfortable pushing back. By the way, they never dated or even kissed and they stopping speaking as teenagers because she was really into drugs and doing a lot of awful stuff and he didn’t want anything to do with it.
Yesterday, she mentioned it again. She basically just said that they have a lot of background, and that they have a special relationship and no one will ever be as great as they were together blah blah. I let her go on for awhile, but after a few minutes I just burst into tears and asked her to stop. I had only had four hours of sleep the night before, and finished finals for my masters degree on Friday so I was super stressed and tired. I never burst randomly into tears, but I just couldn’t control it. My fiance came over and yelled at her, and tried to get it to stop but she just kept going on and on. Eventually her daughters told her to shut up, she apologized sort of, and they drove her home.
I went outside and cried for a few more minutes, and apologized to everyone for making a scene. The entire family is on my side in the whole thing, since they think she is insane, but I am so hurt by it. She called me this morning to apologize, and I just said to her that it is important to me that she respects our relationship and I want her and I to have a friendship, and in order for that to work she needs to respect that this makes me uncomfortable. We made up I guess, and I am seeing her tomorrow at a family function.
My grandmother and my mother had a terrible relationship, and all I want is to be better than that, and to be in a position where she and I have a good friendship. This is absolutely not about my relationship with my Fiance, he supported me and was great to me and respectful and wonderful, and I am not even slightly threatened by this girl. I just want her to stop saying that this woman is his soulmate when I am standing right there. We have been dating for five years, and this girl has been out of his life for 10, so it really isn’t an issue.
I don’t really need advice, I know that I just need to move on and I said my peace already to her. I just needed someone to bitch to who doesn’t have a lot invested and won’t get all bitchy on my behalf to her but just make me feel supported.