- 6 years ago
- Wedding: May 2012
Need advice on a guest situation. My best friend & bridesmaid dated a guy, call him Joe, for a very long time. He broke her heart really badly, somewhat publicly, and it took her years to get over it. She is happily engaged to someone else now, moved on, though she says she still feels embarrassed and uncomfortable when she sees him, because she felt like she never stood up for herself through it all.
Well, Future Mother-In-Law is best friends with Joe’s mother. I don’t particularly like his mom, but she definitely needs to be invited. Unfortunately, in many cases Future Mother-In-Law is inviting not only her friends, but their kids as well. Which includes Joe. I don’t agree with this, as Fiance and I have no relationship with 90% of these kids, but she’s paying for half the wedding so I’m dealing with all the excess guests. But I really, really don’t want Joe there.
I told Future Mother-In-Law, in these exact words, that “I hate Joe and don’t want him there.” She told me that she hinted to his mom that he shouldn’t come, but that his mother said he couldn’t wait and of course would be there. So Future Mother-In-Law says, “I think we have to invite him.”
Why? I can’t stand him, he’s alwasy been rude to me, FI is no longer in touch w/him, and Future Mother-In-Law is friends with his PARENTS. I’m torn- I understand that my Future Mother-In-Law feels uncomfortable not inviting her friend’s son, adn that she already said she would, which could result in drama, but I feel uncomfortable inviting my best friend’s ex! They had a particularly awful breakup. My friend is sweet and classy, and I know she will put on a happy face no matter what for my sake, but I don’t want to put her through anything for someone that isnt’ wanted there by anyone except FI’s mom who’s afraid to offend.
So what do you guys think? Do I fight it out with Future Mother-In-Law and cut him, or should I accept defeat and invite? FMIL’s already made it seem like he’s invited to his mother.
Let’s leave Fiance out of this, he and I struggle to compromise on this and I think the battle is mine…