Post # 1
Months ago my mom told me that her best friend has done some weddings for family and friends. She isn’t very religious but more spiritual. Me and my fiancé decided to go with her because we’re not getting married in a church and we’re a little nontraditional anyways.
Now 6 months later…
Future Mother-In-Law feels that we need a Catholic priest to represent their family, (even though we decided on my mom’s friend together..?) I’m not sure exactly what she wants of him. She said, “He doesn’t have to do anything if you don’t want… But it would be nice for him to give a blessing or something.”
This is so confusing! So we invite a priest so he can sit in a pew at the wedding? Isn’t that rude? I don’t know how to fit him into the ceremony without it being awkward because it’ll only be about 15 minutes anyways. I just picture stopping the flow of everything to have a priest come up and talk about something totally different, and only to make his mom happy. I should have mentioned my family and my fiancés dad’s side is Lutheran, his mom’s side is the only part of the family catholic.
I don’t think it makes sense to have them co-officiate because they’re both Christian, and I wouldn’t want to hurt the feelings of my moms friend.
Not to mention my feelings are hurt, I feel like my choice wasn’t good enough so she wants a priest there to make it legit. I said I felt judged for not being catholic and she had no clue why I would be offended. If I had been catholic in the first place we wouldn’t be going through this.
This was more of a vent than anything else, opinions welcome.
sorry the spacings weird…?
Post # 3
@mrsztobee: Your spacing is fine, something with the website makes it not show up correctly for the OP’s. If you’re happy with your original choice, stick with it. Don’t let Future Mother-In-Law try to guilt you into changing your mind or re-arranging things just because she isn’t satisfied. It’s you and your FI’s wedding anyways, not hers. You might let her down gently by saying, “Thank you. We’re going to keep ‘Jane’ as our officiant, but I do appreciate your suggestion.” and leave it at that. 🙂
Post # 4
@Sweet_Tea: Thank you! That helped me calm down a little haha I get so worried this is the start of WW3 but I’ll take your suggestion and hopefully she backs down. I have to work on not being such a people pleaser!
Post # 5
You can have co-officiating people from different Christian denominations. In fact, it’s pretty common.
The only question is whether you would want to!
Post # 6
PP totally called it! That’s very well phrased!
Post # 7
Your Future Mother-In-Law must not know very much about her own religion, because no Catholic priest is ever going to co-officiate at a wedding that is outside of the Catholic church – it’s completely against their rules and beliefs, and they could lose their position in the church for doing so!
I’d let your Fiance deal with it though, his mom so she’s less likely to lash out or try to pin the blame on you if he’s the one to tell her no. But seriously, it’s not even like it is just you guys telling her no. Even if you wanted to say yes, no Catholic priest is going to agree to an arrangement like this.
Post # 8
@Wonderstruck: … my best friend is catholic and asked the same thing when I told her. I agree, I’ll try to have him deal with it.
Post # 9
No Catholic priest is going to agree to this. If you have an extra seat, I would suggets Mother-In-Law be allowed to invite him, and Mother-In-Law ask priest if he could do any type of blessing at meal, etc. But only if you want to.