FMIL wants everyone to be at everything

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
2891 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

KoalaWalla: I don’t understand why you asked your FMIL for a bridal shower list. This confusion could have easily been avoided if you just used your final list of 50. 

If I were her, I probably would have done the same thing she did because why would you need a second list unless it were different from the wedding invite list for some reason? If you didn’t EXPLICITLY say that you needed a smaller list, it’s not reasonable to expect her to give you a smaller list, unless she’s a mind reader. 

Like, you need to quit soliciting input and pare the list yourself. 

Post # 3
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

KoalaWalla:  put your foot down, and give your FMIL the option of hosting a separate lunch for her wider list?

 

Post # 4
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

bitsybee:  Yep. You are being very nice, and then having it bite you in the ass. 

 

Post # 6
Member
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

KoalaWalla:  Yes, it would be incredibly rude and gift-grabby to invite women to the shower that aren’t invited to the wedding.  It would also be rude to ask your MOH to host and pay for some huge shin-dig.

Frankly, I’m surprised you asked your MIL to contribute a guest list for your shower.  Isnt a shower supposed to be a relatively small,affair for the friends of the bride?

Post # 8
Member
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

KoalaWalla:  Oy. Well, you have my sympathy with the MIL but I do think you should insist that anyone not invited to the wedding isn’t invited to the shower.  Also check with your MOH about the size of the party she wishes to host.  That’s her call. 

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