FMIL wants me to put out a "Honeymoon Fund" jar?!

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1884 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I’ve seen these on Pinterest and I’m up in the air about it. I don’t think I would personally, but I wouldn’t think badly about a couple who had one out either.. 

Post # 4
Member
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

It’s a bad idea. Have your FI talk to her firmly. Can you put one of your bridesmaids (or a wedding coordinator?) in charge of seeing if she does this on the wedding day?

Post # 5
Member
3598 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Bad idea — don’t do it!  

Post # 6
Member
9949 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Just say no.

Post # 7
Member
1259 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I really don’t like this idea.  I have seen them a couple of times and most people I talked to thought they were tacky.

Post # 9
Member
2302 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

it’s rude – people have already travelled, dressed up and brought you a gift – they shouldn’t be shaken down for their spare change too!

 

Post # 10
Member
42538 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

There are no circumstances under which begging is acceptable at a wedding.

Post # 11
Member
3889 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

It’s really not classy to collect pocket change from your guests. Those who wish to contribute to your honeymoon will do so, by way of a card with cash or a check tucked inside. 

Post # 12
Member
2642 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@peachbaby4008:  Don’t let her do it.  You are right that it isn’t very polite.  I’d  have your FI talk to her and explain that you don’t need money for your HM and that it’s not very polite to beg for more money from your guests.  Hopefully she’ll understand.

Post # 13
Member
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Is this something that is traditionally done on his side of the family?  Different groups of people expect different things, and I’d hate to call someone’s family traditions “tacky” or “rude” if that’s what’s going on here.

If this is just her spur of the moment idea for a fundraiser, I’d definitely say “no thanks.”

Post # 14
Member
4641 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

This is ridiculous. Put your foot down, and if one mysteriously shows up at your wedding, remove it and let her know that you meant NO when you said it the first time.

 

Post # 15
Member
3735 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@peachbaby4008:  So in addition to a cash gift you’re supposed to stuff an extra wad of dough into this jar? I would have to either stuff my card in the jar or throw some lint in it. I don’t happen to carry much cash these days so for me it wouldn’t be something I’d be able to contribute to.

Might be great if you have a drunk uncle and a cash bar though… just saying.

Post # 16
Member
2880 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 1998

Please Please DON’T do it!  

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