Weddingbee boards

Ok, I do have to start by saying that my FMIL is an amazing woman, and someone who is easy to be around when it's just the two of us. Bring my wonderful man into the picture and she begins to baby him every chance she gets. He is an only child, and sometimes people tell me "why should you expect anything different?" Well, my issue is FMIL is thinking of moving out here on August 1. I don't care if she moves out here from across the country at all. She has no family except her son, and needs to be around people who do not take advantage of her (i.e. a lot of her friends back east). She needs a positive environment.

Problem is, whenever she has come to stay with us she constantly babies her son and he doesn't like it. He has argued with her in the past about it, but she doesn't listen. She gets on him for his weight, which he tries very very hard to stay on top of, but in the process of her nagging he becomes unmotivated and regresses. Also, we have a very good friend of ours who has moved in with us and we are helping him find work out here. He has been more than responsible and chips in with groceries, bills, and looks after chores at the house while he is applying for jobs or going for interviews. So, when FMIL came to visit a few months ago, she got into an argument with the fiance about why our friend was living with us when she wanted to. She expected our friend to pick up and leave, even though she had told us for the past 5 months that she was moving out here. When the supposed date of her move-in came and she said she wasn't sure if she could make it, we decided to help out a friend who was 100% sure he needed, and wanted, to move out here.

I do not know what to do. She is always welcome in my home, but I notice a marked difference in my fiance's attitude from the time she is here to the time she leaves. Our roomie has even expressed concern to me in private and has spoke to my fiance about this. FMIL arrives, nags fiance, sometimes tries to plan our lives while I politely decline, and fiance is markedly depressed, angry, isolates himself, until she leaves. I will be honest, it bothers me that he becomes this way when she is here. I want him to be happy and to continue to have a good relationship with my FMIL, but I cannot deny that this affects fiance and I's relationship. We are adults and need to be treated as such and be allowed to grow in our marriage.

Do you have any advice?

The plan is definitely to help her find her own place and make sure that it is not too close to us. I am just envisioning what it's going to be like when she comes to stay temporarily before finding here own place and I am not pleased. I know I may have to put my foot down if fiance doesn't.