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I don't think black at weddings is a faux pas anymore. It's a flattering, formal, common color in dresses! Look at how many bmaids and guests wear it now.
I wouldn't read too much into it. If she looks nice and is comfortable, that's all that matters.
While I have not seen any MOG's wearing black before, I also would not think it looked bad if I saw it at a wedding. As long as it looks nice and you both like it, I think it's fine.
I agree with Mermaid. Black is very common. A lot of women feel most comfortable in black. I wouldn't get upset over this, especially if you're having an evening or formal wedding.
How fancy is your wedding? If it's a more formal occassion I would say black is awesome.
However I told my mom (who loves black) that I would really appreciate it if she chose a different color as we are having an outdoor, daytime, slightly casual wedding.
I don't know if its a faux pas, but I think its just a little I'm-in-mourning if its not appropriate for the level of formality/tone of the occassion. BUT, that is only my opinion.
If you don't care then it should bother your aunt and momma.
I think it's completely fine! I'm encourage my mom to wear a cute black dress/outfit if that's what she likes. Our colors are black and white, so she'll fit in quite nicely! Although, my aunt did mention to my mom that she shouldn't wear black and my mom got a little concerned...but I assured her this was fine!
I definitely think these "rules" are changing as weddings with all kinds of themes/styles/decor are planned. If it's a great dress that she looks and feels good in, I say give her the green light and make her feel great about the purchase. Letting her know that you like it and approve of it will also help if people make comments about it (I'd hope they wouldn't, but you never know!)...if she knows you're on board, she'll be reassured!
No faux pas committed.....black is actually a trendy wedding color now. Especially if it's an evening wedding!
unless your weddign is at like 1 pm and in a church, i think she's fine.
After a stupidly long (and not finished) hunt for a MOB dress I can honestly say that so many of them are champagne or black. Why? I have no idea! My dress is champagne so my mom's choice's are now limited to 80% of dresses that are black and the 20% we can never find that look good and aren't black. uhg.
My mom is also concerned about the black, but I told her to wear brightly colored accessories and she'll be fine. I mean, assuming we ever fnd a dress for her!
For Moms looking for something a little out of the ordinary,have them look at and try on some dresses by Cameron Blake by Mon Cheri. I had a terrible time trying to find something not too young or too frumpy. These dresses were really classic and beautifully constructed.
I actually wore black & white for my daughter's wedding just last week. I don't think I've ever gotten so many compliments!
I think it's fine. It sounds as if your FMIL is very sweet and well-meaning. It also sounds as if you have a great relationship with her! I was also just at a wedding this weekend where the MOG wore black b/c it's what she's most comfortable in. She loves her new DIL and also didn't mean any harm. I don't think any of the guests took it that way either.
I say, since you and your FMIL have a good relationship, she was really excited to show you the dress, and you're sure she doesn't mean any harm, let her be comfortable! I like dorsay's idea of the brightly colored accessories...or a very fun color for her shoes!
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Thanks so much ladies! We're having a 11 am ceremony at an arboretum. Her dress is tea length and very cute, so I think she'll look just fine. I just got a little worried after my Mom's reaction.
As others are saying, I think it'c ompletely fine. Black at weddings USED to be a faux pas in general, but not so much anymore. In fact, a growing trend to to have all the BMs in black dresses.
My mom's walking me down the aisle, and she's purchased a lovely black dress, accented with a white sash, and I'm very happy with her selection.
I'd just advise other family members who think this is a faux pas that it's an outdated rule, and that your FMIL looks lovely in the dress, and you're excited for her to wear it. Enthusiasm can easily rub off on people :)
Bah. You FMIL should wear a dress she likes and looks good in. I know that I, for one, don't have any "colourful" dresses because I don't wear a lot of colourful clothes period! Black is flattering on a lot of people, and if you're fine with it, who cares!
(As for black being reserved for funerals...my mom wears colourful outfits to the funerals of close relatives because she knows that's what they would have wanted -- for her to be HER, not someone else.)
I'm totally with you Jenniphyr, I don't like to where black to funerals. When my Dad died, I wore white and I think he would have really liked it.
I actually wanted my MIL to wear black. Our colors were black and gold and my mom was wearing a black dress. I thought it would make more sense for my MIL to do the same, but she refused. I then suggested she wear a dark color, no pastels. She had a baby blue dress made because...well, she's passive agressive like that. Either way, I think black is totally acceptable for weddings these days.
Smyley -
That was a gorgeous dress! I also think black is absolutely fine as a wedding color now. If your FMIL hated you and everyone knew that, it might be a different story.
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While I think that as long as you're ok with what she's wearing and realize she doesn't have any bad intentions, it doesn't matter what color your FMIL wears, I think wearing black could have some unintended consequences. Some of your old school guests might think she's communicating disapproval of the marriage by her choice, especially since it is a daytime wedding, which could cause them to either look down on her, or cause family rifts (if the people are in your family).
My mom wore a black dress...and I had no problem with it. In fact, I encouraged it. My MIL ended up with a dark blue dress and they both looked great and didn't clash with the bridal party. They should wear whatever they feel most comfortable in.
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I'm not exactly sure where to post this but...I will preface this by saying that I really like my FMIL, she is the sweet, kind and caring and I have never had any problems with her whatsoever. When FH and I visited her a few months ago she showed me the black dress that she bought for our wedding. She was really exicited about her purchase and I think she'll look just fine. When I mentioned this to my Mom and my Aunt they got a little weirded out and said that the MOB and MOG traditionally wear something colorful and that she is committing a bit of a faux pas. Is this true? I know FMIL means no harm at all by wearing black and I'm sure she was just as clueless about this tradition as I. Would you be upset if your FMIL wore black??? Honest opinions please!!