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I can't stand my FMIL! She wrote my FI that he shouldn't date me before she ever met me. She is a religious fanatic who lost her husband to cancer, so it's understandable that she is having a hard time, but she won't allow my FI to hold my hand in her prescence. She got upset when we posted a picture on facebook of me kissing him on the cheek and demanded we take it down. She's wacko!
We don't get along much.... From the beginning she's told my FI that she didn't agree with him picking me, She's gossiped about me with my FSIL, and has TWICE brought up another girl that my FI had once showed intrest in (she brought this up just a couple of weeks ago).. and this is just skimming the surface
I've tried to be cordial and like her even.. even invited her to a weekly bible study at our house
BUT... it seems that no matter what I do her full approval of me has not been accomplished so for now it's just dealing the best I can. =(
Wow. I love my FMIL. She is so sweet. Never has a frown. BUT there is a small problem. Sometimes she asks him for money to pay her bills. I still love her though because man she is soooo sweet.
Sucks for everyone not getting along with their FMIL. Mine is a sweetheart that everyone takes advantage of (i.e. FBIL). I love her and she genuinely cares for me. I know she loves me much more than any of fiance's former flames. She packed me lunches when I visit her during the weekdays. =) She's an awesome cook and I hope to learn how to cook from her one of these days.
One of the best parts of my first marriage was my MIL. We remained close even after the divorce.
The vast majority of women end up as MILs at some point. So there is as much variation among them as there is among women generally.
FMIL is wonderful. I'm definitely her favorite of all the girls my BF has dated, so she was THRILLED when we got back together after four and a half years. She's really laid back but also very quirky, and she's a successful businesswoman as well as a mother of three. I hope I'm as cool as she is when I'm her age! Also, she paid for the BF's trip to visit me in Japan, so I have to like her for that!
My FMIL is great! FH is an only child and I dont think he has any girl cousins so FMIL buys me tons of stuff for xmas ( i think she likes she has a girl to shop for!) She is wicket sweet and nice and always gives FH money when we visit!
I LOVE my FMIL...I think I get along better with her then I do with my actual mother. She is so happy for FH and I and is willing to help but not imposing. I had sent her a text message asking her if she wanted to go dress shopping with me and my friends (my mother lives 500 miles away) and her response was "OMG of course! You just tell me when and I'm there!"
I live next door to my FMIL. ;-)
She's great, honestly. It's kind of annoying because my fiance is over there a lot (I may see his parents once a week). BUT...
She has not offered any wedding help. She does live next door, where as my mom is 30 miles away. She thinks weddings are a waste of money, I'm suspecting, because she had a quickie courthouse wedding. She thinks we should put money in a savings account instead of throwing a wedding Since my fiance is his mother's son, he sort of has the same mentality about it. But he wants to make me happy, so he's on board. It makes me sad that I feel like I can't discuss the wedding with her. As soon as she found out we were engaged she told us to "go away" and get married. Yeah...
But besides wedding business, we do get along pretty well.
I get along ok with FMIL but she can be really annoying sometimes. She is super controlling and wedding planning has been very stressful at times because of her. At the same time she is also very caring and generous - she is using her annual bonus to pay for almost our entire wedding! She is very happy for FI and I and I know that she cares about me. She can be kind of crazy sometimes though!
I adore my MIL. She's a smart, caring, driven individual who at first was pretty upset about our engagement, but a few months afterward apologized and told me it had nothing to do with me.
She picked out my wedding dress, cleaned up my cake tornado while I was making our wedding cake, she helped me plan and make decisions for the wedding, threw me a bridal shower AND hosted our rehearsal dinner (including driving the food here from her home 4 hours away). Since the wedding she has helped us install our hardwood floors, came down to organize my kitchen, and most recently last weekend was here to organize my garage (I'm a creative person and can't organize no matter how hard I try)....
She makes my life better. She's never had a negative thing to say about me and has always been encouraging. She's the kind of mother I hope that I am (except my kids will do the dishes...my husband never did chores and his 21-year-old sister still lives at home and has never done her own laundry or cooked her own meal)...
Out of all of my in-laws, she's my favorite. My father-in-law is a whole other story! He drives me insane!!!
I have to say that I'm pretty lucky. I have an awesome family and so does my husband. It's makes the holidays a little stressful with all the travel, but I wouldn't have it any other way. One of the reasons I love my husband so much is because who he has become because of his family.
Hmm.. that's tough. Sounds like an Everybody Loves Raymond scenario almost. Since she's so close she can be more involved in your lives which is good and bad. And our apartment was a total tornado as the wedding was approaching. We were never home or totally exhausted, it was also a really busy time at work for both of us. So no judgement here on the messy apartment! And we feel VERY lucky to have a dishwasher in NYC..
I do love my MIL. We aren't best friends, but we get along really well and both have the best intentions for DH which is what bonds us. I think we're different, but we accept each others differences because we have the same values. Also, I probably only see her like 2 or 3 times a year since she is several states away..
Mine is a very sweet and giving person! I wouldn't say we are "close," despite seeing each other often, but she is very nice!
My FMIL is a sweetheart but crazy. She has 2 boys, 1 daughter in law that she doesn't get a long with (because she's crazy). Then there is me. She has always wanted a daughter, so she's absolutely smothering me anymore. It's driving me NUTS! She has a huge heart, but and i try to get a long with her because of FI, but i don't know how much more i can take of it. She's overly nice to the point at times she come off fake, she has no backbone and never speaks her mind. I'm the complete opposit my mom raised me to be strong and independent. I do my best to get along with her but it's defn. trying at times. Plus she still sends FI messages (yesterday it was, I love you with all my heart baby) or hangs all over him when she see's him. I would like to say, BACK off lady he's MINE!!
I think my FMIL is nice, but I don't see us ever having a GREAT relationship. Technically, for (their) religious reasons, my FIL's are NOT supposed to associate with FI at all (it's a long, drama filled story), but he does talk to them and see them on occasion. For those reasons alone I feel like the relationship will always be a little bit chilly. However, if those reasons weren't there, I can really see us with having a very good relationship.
I'm cordial to my MIL and I try to get along with her the best I can but she has unfortuantly never liked me. Like other bees have stated, before she even knew me she judged me and devised a plan to break us up. She insisted that my SO get back together with an old girlfriend (who happened to be her friend) and pushed him to go on dates with her and so on. It didn't work however. She talked about me behind my back to everyone she knew and then started saying I wasn't invited to family functions. We weren't engaged at the time, so I really wasn't family, however she would then proceed to invite her daughter's ex-boyfriends parents to the event. Strange? Yes. I ended the relationhip with him partly because of his mom. 2.5 years later we got back together and he's on the same page as me now.
Once he proposed, she told a family friend at our engagment party that she (the firend) should be the one marrying him and not me. Then when my SO confronted her about it later she demanded apology after apology for breaking up with her favorite ex girlfriend...she's not even friends with her anymore! Who does that?? She purposly ignores me during family functions and I pretty much feel like and outsider all the time. I really wish we were close and that we liked each other, I really long for that connection. But I know she will never change. With my SO deployed I've really needed family more then ever but they've showed me their true colors over the past year. Now I don't know how to forgive her. I just hope my SO can stick to his guns and protect our family. If she had it her way her "little baby" would be divorced and living with her the rest of his life. I hate that I married into this, and that I knew it would be this way. But I love my SO so much, why should I walk away from true love just because of her? I can't let negative people rule my life you know? Bringing children into this situation seems dangerous even, I really don't want kids but this whole thing makes me really REALLy not want kids. God only knows what she would do then...
Mine is awesome. She's the cornerstone of FI's family. She's the one who makes sure everyone is getting along and would do anything for anyone. My mom had gastric bypass surgery on Monday and FMIL visited her on Tuesday with a gift bag full of pudding, crystal light, gum, protein shakes, an insulated water bottle and a cozy blanket--all things my mom will need in the coming weeks and months!
Well like you said in your title mine is deceased. BUT from the stories I've heard...I don't think we would've gotten along very well, which makes me kind of sad. I am sorry that I'm missing out on the experience of having a MIL and of course I'm sad for fiance that he lost his mom. However, from what I've been told, she was feisty and very opinionated. And very religious and conservative. Fiance's house is still plastered with Jesus pictures. Seriously,,there must be 80 pictures of Jesus in that house, not even exagerrating. So I think her and I wouldve butted heads about quite a few things. And I think fiance and I's relationship wouldve been quite different. But I'd like to think that hopefully we wouldve put up with eachother enough to make it through a wedding. After all, we both love the same person.
I've heard horror stories about how bad MIL's can be. Thankfully I've lucked out. My FMIL is a sweetheart. She even helped take care of me when I got sick while we were visiting them. I will be her second attempt at a daughter in law, and from what I've heard from FI his whole family likes me better than his exwife. The only issue I have is we can't communicate very well. As we don't speak the same language. That kinda sucks.
Aww I LOVE my FMIL! She is the kindest, most meek person ever! She has a great sense of humor but can also be very quiet. She is totally a people pleaser and tries to make everyone around her happy. She is an amazing person! Ever since we started dating she has always told me I am the daughter she never had (since she has 2 boys).
I love mine! She's been a dream during the planning and we email each other frequently and talk on the phone about once a week. (We live on different coasts.) I think she's just more excited that her 41yo son is finally getting married and I don't have 2 heads! Haha.
As far as his mom wanting to tidy up a bit... I think that's just mom instinct. I used to live in NYC, in an apt with 2 others and a very small kitchen. One roommate cooked an elaborate Thanksgiving dinner (for a party outside of our apt) and NEVER cleaned a gosh darn dish after. For 3 weeks. There was no way I or the other roommate was going to touch her gigantic mess, that we didn't get to eat any of, so it just sat there. My parents came into town for a weekend (for an early Christmas visit) and it was all still there (my room was clean, they know I'm not a slob!). My mom's first instinct was to clean the kitchen. I told her it wasn't even my mess... and I'd long since let it go, but she couldn't. So, she cleaned the kitchen! It's a mom thing, i guess.
@ctbride- The only positive thing I noticed in your post is that she likes places pretty neat so maybe if your place is a mess she won't visit often ;)
I do not like mine AT ALL. I'll leave it at she's not a very nice woman.
I loooooove my FMIL. We get along great... I guess I'm one of the lucky few.
I love my FMIL! We have a great time together!
Actually she is coming to spend the night with us tonight and I am really looking forward to it.
I love my FMIL. She is a wonderful and kind person and has really made me feel like part of the family. I am really fortunate!
I like my MIL, when she's not drunk. She's an alcoholic and we actually haven't talked to her in about 4 months, she doesn't even know we bought a house and moved cuz she can't control her drinking and she is slowly killing herself and we can't deal with it. I wish she would stop drinking, cuz she really is a sweet lady and I'd like to be able to hang out with her more. I love the rest of my In Law's, and feel really lucky that we all get along so well. My FIL's gf is awesome, so at least one of my MIL's is normal and I can talk to :)
i also love my FMIL. She's been so supportive of wedding planning and my career and our relationship in general. You'd think my marrying her baby boy would make it harder to get along but she's really treated me like she's gaining a daughter and not losing a son. She rocks!
My FMIL is nice enough, but she's super clingy with FH. He's her only child, she and his dad split up when FH was 3 and she always tells me that it was "just the two of them" for several years until she met his stepdad. He's the only one in his extended family that doesn't live in the same small town, and she's constantly complaining that she never sees "her only son." She even made a point to tell me that she'll cry during our wedding because he won't be "hers" anymore. Ugh, puke!
He and I come from very different backgrounds- FMIL and her husband have very little money, didn't go to college, both work long hours etc. My dad and FH work at the same company and my dad is an exec, and my mom stays at home, so FMIL thinks we're ridiculously wealthy and that it will be so hard for her baby to keep me happy since I was raised as such a princess (not true).
I think her heart really is in the right place, she's nice to me and there's NO denying she loves her son, but she is just wayyyy too smothering and somewhat bitter about life in general. MILs just seem to be tough.
Same as @edisongirl. I wish she had better spending habits and were financially responsible, but other than that she's a total sweetheart.
I like my MIL for the most part. She's a hardworking woman who raised 2 kids on her own. When we first started dating, she was welcoming and pleasant, and whenever we visited, she'd pack me all kinds of food to take home. My husband is the only son, youngest child but she's not the type to be super-clingy/coddle him, so it's really great that I don't have a momma's boy or any apron strings to cut! :)
The only thing that bothers me (a lot) is that my MIL is paranoid that no one will take care of her should anything happen to my husband! She was making such a huge deal about wanting her name on the title of his house (he bought the house before we met). I mean, talk about morbid! Who thinks about their son dying??? I understand where she's coming from, but it seriously made me feel as though I'm some gold-digger! Here's the kicker, I make more money than my husband and my income potential is way higher than his! Within the next 5 years, I should easily make 2 or 3 times as much as he does. My MIL knows that I have a successful career and a decent income but she refused to let up on the subject. DH said it was more about his mom not trusting him, so I shouldn't be offended. But I was. Still am...
Long story short, I told DH to make a will stating that she will get half of his assets if anything were to happen to him, PROVIDED we don't have kids. I had my friends who are attorneys and tax CPAs explained the legal and tax implications and even paid for my friend to draft the will. Even though I know I am being the bigger person, deep down inside, I can't help but still feel hurt whenever I think about this. She's not too educated and didn't understand a lot of the legal & tax issues. I supose that's a good thing, because I know I can contest the will in court if things were to go bad. But I rather not think about that! I mean, I want my DH to live a long, long life with me! We can be penniless but as long as we're together, I'm happy. (Yeah, I do love DH very much! :)
oh, don't get my started on my SIL! She's the instigator behind all of my MIL's paranoia. *sigh*
I think I am pretty lucky compared to some of you other unfortunate ladies! Mine is really sweet. We arent engaged yet, but she often talks about our wedding and I know she accepts me and my relationship with her son. We have had our ups and downs (one very big down!) But that has had more to do with issues she has with her son (hes 32 and she still sees him like a 20 year old sometime) but she apologised and we got on with life. I know that when the time comes she will be happy we are engaged and getting married, just like she was happy when we bought our house (thankfully we saw how frustrated she got when her daughter bought a house without her say, so we made sure to let her see it before we bought it!)
I think I am pretty lucky with mine! She is accepting of us and our relationship. Her son and her had a big fight a while back and I got caught up in it but she apologised and I know that it had nothing to do with ME but to do with her son and her having to let go now that he is a grown up. But we get along well, we email each other and I know that when the time comes for us to get engaged, she will be happy!
Bleh. They live four hours away, not far enough.
I've always been determined to work in Europe for a few years after I finish my Ph.D., but not I really, really want to work in Europe, then maybe Asia, then who knows, after we finish grad school
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Ok, so FI and I have been together for 6 yrs (engaged 1 at wedding time). She lives close to use in NYC and is pretty much a snob. I feel like the entire time we have been together I have been overly nice, sweet, accomodating etc. Now that the wedding is coming up she hasn't been that hands on, but has her opinions. FI just got his ring yesterday and the suit he is wearing.
We have both been working like crazy, or wedding planning like crazy (ahem, me). So we have basically let our apt get pretty messy. She told FI that she wanted to stop by today to see his ring and suit. Meanwhile, I was at work and he just got back in town. When he told me this I pictured the dishes in the sink (NYC dishwashers are hard to come by), my hair all over the bathroom floor, dirty counters, and hardwood floors .He said "ok" and didnt clean a thing. So, during the meeting she was horrified and started to try to clean things and talk about how dirty the place was. etc. When I heard about all of this my first reaction was " F IT." I do not care. I would have cared 3 days ago, or thought that she would think I was going to be a bad wife or something. Now after all of this wedding stuff and knowing she will be around forever. I could care less about what she thinks.
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT YOURS? AND OTHER STORIES ARE WELCOME!!