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FMIL....you can't COMPLAIN when it was YOUR idea!!

posted 1 year ago in Family
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    1.
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    Blushing bee
    Samantha7    June 25, 2011   Missouri

    So, I'm happy to say that FMIL and FFIL will be paying for the rehearsal dinner. YAY! I didn't think they would offer to pay anything, but they did! So FMIL asked the other day for the names of those that will be at the dinner with their addresses. I emailed her everything she needed. I don't know about you, but I was thinking the rehearsal dinner was for those in the wedding, plus grandparents. Well, I got an email back from FMIL saying that there will be more because she wants to invite her sisters (she has 5 of them) and their husbands because they are family, as well as her cousins and aunt that are coming from out of state. She has more than doubled the people that I was thinking for the dinner. I don't care if she has them, but then she needs to stop complaining about how much dinner will cost them! She keeps asking FI and I what we wanted to have (she got a list from the restaurant to narrow it down to have everyone choose from), we gave her suggestions, but then she would say she wanted something else. The things she wanted were more expensive, then she would say well this is what I want, but I don't know if I'll offer it to everyone because of the price! Seriously?! Oh and she chose the restaurant, we said we would have been fine with just a BBQ! I emailed her and told her that if she wanted to have her family for the dinner then that was fine and up to her, but I didn't want them at the actual rehearsal of the ceremony. Was that wrong? I don't want an extra 30 people at the rehearsal, why would they want to come to the wedding if they know exactly how it's going to be anyway?

    I'm appreciative that they are paying, but I hate that she keeps adding people to come to the dinner and then coming back to FI and I complaining about the price and how much it is going to cost her. Thanks for letting me vent, had to get it out or I probably would have yelled at her!

     
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    Bumble bee
    ilovenycmissie    September 2009   nyc

    just tell her politely she can invite less people and choose less expensive items

     
    3.
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    Blushing bee
    Beth2010    November 12, 2011   Lansing, MI

    I wouldn't say you were wrong in telling her that those people will not be at the rehersal. Let her know that if it is going to be a problem about paying for that many people, she will either need to limit the amount of people or change the dinner.  If she still complains, maybe you and your FH could sit down and figure out if you could pay for a dinner on your own for just your party and grandparents by doing a BBQ.  The rehersal dinner should not be a stress on you and it sounds like. that is what she is turning it into. Hope that helps!  Good luck!

     
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    Blushing bee
    Beansy    October 22, 2011  

    Our Priest was extremely strict-- no one at the rehersal who is not IN the wedding, everyone else can show up for the Real Thing, they only have to wait a few more hours! This has caused a little angst with our bridesmaids who are bringing dates who have to meet us at the restaurant, but Church Policy overrides Bride Policy so I am not the bad guy :)

    As for the cost-- how tacky!!! She absolutely should not be eating something in front of her own guests that no one else is allowed to order!

     

     

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