Post # 1
My FI and I just started the pre-cana program last week and to start we had to take the foccus test online. I just took mine first and while for the most part I had no problem answering the questions, I’m now really nervous for my FI to submit his answers! I’m often insecure and get jealous, I can fly off the handle (I get my temper from my dad!) and I’m sure sometimes I am just downright annoying. But he knows all this and still loves me so I know I’m lucky. I’m just scared now that he is going to answer all the questions about me and the priest is going to be wondering why we are getting married! 🙁
Post # 3
The priest won’t think that. It’s better to think of FOCCUS as a “tool” rather than a “test.” Its main function is to make sure that you’ve talked about the issues that couples need to discuss as they prepare for marriage, and it can be a really good way to open up conversations about difficult topics. Rest easy – I’m sure you’ll be fine.
Post # 4
@PinkAndPearls2013: I agree with the person above about using it as a tool rather than a test. I think that it is actually quite a helpful tool and it brought up several things that my FI and I hadn’t even thought about. Also, the priest knows that no couple is perfect and we all have our flaws. He knows that only God is perfect! Plus, if there are certain things that are a little off in the results, the priest can offer suggestions on how to handle it. They have married lots of couples before you and have seen all kinds of things so no need to worry 🙂
Post # 5
I agree with previous posters. I think your post already speaks to the fact that you’re in a great place to take the FOCCUS. Our priest really emphasized how the FOCCUS was a way to talk about our relationship not to give it a grade. We knew where our “red flags” would be and our priest was impressed, that we could tell him what areas we knew we’re going to come up, how we’re already handling those issues. It sounds like from your post you’re already doing that as a couple!
Post # 6
FOCCUS is just a starting point to consider things that will affect your marriage. When we went over our tests with our priest, it was more about making sure we were aware of possible problem areas, rather than trying to solve every problem before marriage (cause hey, then no one would get married lol). It’s also about knowing yourself & how you feel about issues relating to your relationship. For me it was a really good experience and just solidified that we were ready for marriage. My priest actually said that after all these years of going over FOCCUS tests he realized how much it forces us to know ourselves, and that he would even have a hard time answering some of the questions if he was in our shoes!