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We just finished our FOCCUS session. We did not get to take home the results, to the disappointment of some of my single friends who wanted to get a look at the questions. :)
We went over the test with a couple from the parish. They were very nice and offered advice and insight based on their own relationship.
Fi and I actually discussed most of our answers before the follow up visit from memory, and so there were no major surprises when we the results were revealed. Overall, we enjoyed the experience and how it focused on so many aspects of our relationship.
@sparrowly: Thanks! FI's Uncle is a priest and is marrying us. my parish will send him copies of all our paperwork so im hoping i can sweet talk him into givng me the test results ;)
We def went over all this stuff in pre-cana so the results werent really a surprise, i just wanted to look at them more in depth...(for us at least) the very first thing we did was take the test - so most of discussions were around the topics and the workbook and of course some of the 180 questions from FOCCUS that we could remember but i was really interested in sitting down and looking at all the questions and then looking at our answers - which we did with the Deacon but we only went over the ones that we dissagreed on or he though we needed to discuss.
here's to hoping i can get a copy!
We never saw or got to go over our FOCCUS results. I am still very curious about them!
We got to keep ours, but I don't think we were supposed to! We scored 100% in the sex category (haha), and 80s-90s in everything else, if I remember correctly.
@Leprechaun: they say sex and finance are the two main things that can destroy a marriage! looks like both of us are on our way to long and happy marriage!
We didn't get to keep our results either. We went over them as part of our marriage prep. Our lowest score (60ish %) was on religion beliefs - very strange since we both were born and raised Catholic!
We didn't get to keep ours either, which we we're disappointed about. We did go over most, though; mainly the ones with issues. No real surprises, though, since FI and i went over everything after we took the test :)
Yup.. we actually received two copies, one for the church and one for us. Our Deacon basically said "well theres not much to go over" when our results came in. We did good :)
Oh my, I didn't realize they actually gave "percentage" scores!! We were told it was just to give us points to talk about! FI and I took ours in December, but we are currently in different states, so we won't go over them until March. Our priest mentioned casually that "they were all right"... I think (hope) he was just teasing me about being nervous! I guess the perpetual college student in me wants to make sure I got a good grade :) Do you have to sit and talk with the priest/deacon about the areas where you got lower scores?
We got to keep ours! Even the areas in which we got "high" percentiles were discussed. We really liked our marriage prep couple and it was a very good experience for us.
We didn't to keep ours either! I thought it was so wierd. We were going to go and talk about the results ourselves. Instead we just forgot what the questions were! Oh well.
@Baconprincess: we did...the only questions we discussed with the deacon were the ones we didnt put the same answer for. luckily none of them were Agree/Disagree usually they were Agree and Unsure or Disagree and Unsure. I wish we could have kept it though to go over at length at home. oh well...im going to try and get a copy from the priest that is marrying us.
Random question. . . I just signed us up for precana in April. Actually, we get to do the special precana since we're over 30. :) Anyways, I'm not as familiar with the FOCCUS test. Is it required? Do you do it at your precana class? After? Thanks for the info as my church wasn't too clear on everything.
some churches require it others dont. I wouldnt stress too much about it. They may give it to you after the precana
its simply a test you both take seperately (same questions about family values, morals, finances, goals and so on) they then compare your answers and it is simply used to help whoever is preparing you for marriage (at your Catholic church) guide you and counsel you in any areas that may be needed.
We got to take our results but not the test questions. We're opposites personality-wise, but for core things we did okay. We scored highest on sex and communication. Lowest on religion (8%! >.<), but that's because we're very personal people when it comes to that and don't discuss it much, but we're working on it. Which is kinda the point of the test, in my opinion, to see what things the relationship could benefit by discussing them.
The thing is, you can't really score "horrible" unless you know there's a problem. The questions aren't "what's his favorite color?" or "What's her birthday?" they are "We agree on how to raise our children. (Agree/Disagree)" and "We have a plan for how we will spend money. (Agree/Disagree)" If you score low, someone is marking "disagree" on the test multiple times.
When we took ours we were told the results would be destroyed after we dicussed them! I have no idea why you can't keep them- thought that was weird!
@CatholicBee: we scored low probably because i marked uncertain a lot and so did he on things we just didn't think really applied to us.
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did you get to keep the results?
We went over our test last night with the Deacon
proud of our 100% on finances - not so proud of our 33% on Religious views..eek that was embarrassing!
anyway - he said we don't get to keep the results, that they keep them on file and they are confidential.
although we went through and discussed some of the differences in answers we really have nothing to take home and talk about - it would be helpful to be able to look at the answers we chose.
Did you get to take home your FOCCUS results?