Post # 1
Still trying to figure out how to avoid hurt feelings around the office. I have made it known to several people that my fiance and I are paying for the wedding ourselves (well, most of it anyways) and that while we would like to invite everyone and had planned to originally, once we started planning it became clear that it is just not financially feasible. However, my parents own the company, so that makes this a bit more tricky.
There’s a few people that are in limbo in terms of the guest list. There is at least one person that has been with our company a long time and I had originally intended to invite. Upon further discussion with my mother however, the concern was raised that should she get an invitation, she may be the type to go around and say to people “I got an invitation, did you get one?”. Apparently she’s a bit of the gossip type. I don’t want to start trouble, but I don’t want to hurt her feelings, but I also don’t want to hurt others either. I asked my mom if she thought talking to this woman and explaining the situation would help, but my mom didn’t think it would prevent gossip. I am not exactly close to this person, but she has been with our company for a long time. WHAT DO I DO HERE? Feels like a damned if you do, damned if you don’t type situation…
Post # 4
@Lrroma181986: Is there any way you could not invite anyone?
If there are some that you MUST invite, cut it off at people you see and spend time with outside of work and work-related fuctions. If the only time you see them outside of work is when everyone gets lunch on Fridays or hits up a happy hour on Tuesdays, then don’t invite them. If they come over and hang out or you would make plans to meet up with them on a Saturday night, then they get the invite. If you are that close to them, then you are close enough to ask them not to talk about the wedding at work.
Post # 5
Unfortunately I cannot not invite any of them. I considered that, but that would be worse than being selective. Some of these people have known me since I was a child. 🙁
But what do I do with this gossiper? She has been here since 1999. I was planning to invite her in the first place, but I am worried she will stir up trouble with others.
Post # 6
I wouldn’t worry about the gossip. My husband and I met at work at a company of about 100 people. Our office was very close knit and we had many people we worked with that we considered friends. We invited probably 20 people from work, and there were even more people we wanted to invite but didn’t have space for. At the end of the day, everyone found out who was invited and who wasn’t. Things like that don’t stay secret, even if the people invited aren’t gossips. I don’t think the people we weren’t able to invite were offended, even though they are friends of ours. Most people don’t care! Also, I think people are understanding of how weddings are.
On the flip side, I’ve had friends at work who got married and invited some co-workers but not me or my husband. We both understood. Our line in the sand with who to invite was if we felt close enough to them that we could see ourselves inviting them over our apartment for dinner or going out 1×1 with them. If the co-worker friends were people we were only friendly with as part of the bigger group, we did not invite them. At the end of the day, everyone was supportive invited or not.
I think if you want to invite this woman, you should, even if she is a gossip. I wouldn’t let that be your deciding factor. When it comes to co-workers, I don’t think people care as much as we think they might. Perhaps some are relieved not to be invited. 🙂