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Hey guys. Thanks for all the feedback on this earlier thread about a private snarky board.
I mentioned at the time that we were granting a one-time amnesty to members of the snarky board who did not participate in snark and troll attacks:
"There are a number of Weddingbee members who participated on the snarky board, but did not participate in the snark attacks and troll attacks on the site. We have decided to grant a one-time amnesty to these members."
I had hoped that by granting a one-time amnesty, we could put this all behind us and move on. I am disappointed that despite our previous warnings, some snarky board members have continued to participate in the private snarky board.
As such, these members have had their one-time amnesty revoked and have been banned from Weddingbee.
Best,
Mr. Bee
Sad that people won't improve when given a second chance...thanks Mr. Bee for making Wedding Bee a snark-free zone!
Thanks for all you are doing, Mr. Bee! You all have had to deal with so much drama, lately.
I had a dream last night that a mod PM'd me and said she could connect me to a troll account and I was like BUT I'M NOT A TROLL! Then I woke up and couldn't believe I ACTUALLY had a dream about this.
I just read the original thread. I remember someone posting a link to said site a long time ago. It's so weird what some people do for 'fun'! Thanks to you and the other moderators for taking care of this stuff. Hopefully the drama dies down for you now.
@ohheavenlyday: Wow, that's the first time I have ever heard of that dream!!
Thanks for all of your hard work Mr Bee! I can't believe what is wrong with some people in this world. I honestly cannot fathom how grown women can find pleasure in other people's pain. It feels like any moment a Mean Girls scene is about to break out. Haha.
Thanks again to you and everyone else who has been working hard to stay on top of this.
This is arenyth, and this morning I was banned without warning, along with many well known and loved posters. I joined that board 3 days ago with the intent to see what it was all about. I've made all of 40 posts over there, mostly about creating funny avatars and food. I was open about who I was over there because I didn't think I had anything to hide, I'm a nice person and I've never been anything but nice and helpful and constructive to every single person on weddingbee. I've conducted myself in a peaceful and polite manner, even in the most heated of threads. No matter what the other site is about, I've never participated in any snarkiness and I've never even been warned for any of my posts.
Your one time amnesty deal was so that people didn't create any drama on this board. After I signed up on the other board I went back to business as usual here, posting outfits I was picking out and being friendly with other bees. None of us that signed up knew that your "one time deal" meant to deactivate our account on that board. That is not what you said.
I am now going to lose etsy business because I've been banned, when I didn't do anything wrong, and neither did any of the other girls that just signed up. I would have liked a PM about this, and I would have liked a chance to stand up for myself. I've spent the last year on here planning my wedding, sharing my progress, and making friends. I LOVED this website. And you just threw that banhammer down without even talking to me.
I appreciated all the girls here who have given me advice and taken mine, who have helped me with my family problems and started to forge a real friendship with me, thank you. Banning me has done nothing to curb your drama problem, Mr. Bee, because I never participated in any of it.
Wait ... where did arenyth's post go? I was just reading it and refreshed to see if there were new posts and her's was gone.
Honestly - based on her post, I'd like a little more clarification on why these users are being banned. Just posting to another forum shouldn't lead to someone being banned if they personally aren't doing anything to stir up drama here.
Two posts deleted thus far! It sounds like the whole board was created so the members would have a place to be bitchy and say mean things about people from the Bee. What juvenile crap.
@arenyth1: ARENYTH!!! :'(
I'm positive that I'm not the only member who thinks the mass banning has gone too far. Some of my favorite bees are now gone simply because they wanted to see what the other board was about and MAKE THEIR OWN JUDGMENTS about it.
I'm afraid to post any further criticisms for fear that I'll get lumped into this witch hunt and get banned myself.
@Mrs.KMM: I saved it if you want to see it. I saved it immediately, then read it.
I also am confused. Her post upset me, to tell you the truth. I think this is all a little too much (my opinion).
Edit: Her post upset me, meaning I'm upset she was banned.
Oi vey. This whole thing is a trainwreck. I don't understand why arenyth was banned for going to see what was on the other site? I went to look too, but I didn't bother registering when I saw that it was private. I was just curious what all the fuss was about.
I was able to read arenyth's post and I highly doubt that that's the only reason she was banned. I don't think the moderators are banning people for silly stuff, we have to remember they are volunteers, why would they waste thier time? We are probably not getting the whole story from either side.
@Jenn23: I read it all before I refreshed. If what she was saying is accurate, I'm honestly a little disappointed with Mr. Bee and the mods/admins. The bannings seem to have been taken too far IMO.
You were too kind to allow them a second chance anyways. Imo, if they feel the need to make fun of us on a separate forum then so be it (they obviously lead pathetic lives) but they should not be allowed to participate on here. The contributing members of WB shouldn’t have to worry about someone they’re interacting with in a thread, posting hateful stuff about them on some snark forum.
ETA: Now that I’ve been filled in as to what’s really going on, I’m not sure how I feel about this anymore. While I 1000% agree that any active members (i.e. someone who contributes to the douche-baggery) of the slam site should be banned from WB, I’m not sure how I feel about the others who weren’t really doing anything. However, signing up for that site after knowing that the mods were keeping a close eye on it, probably wasn’t the brightest of ideas but I don't think it was ban worthy.
I considered joining BB to see what was being said, but I'm so glad I didn't. I didn't need that drama, but I certainly was curious to check it out.
@Mrs.KMM: OK, wasn't sure if you were able to read the entire post. The first one disappeared so quickly (saved that one, too) then I quickly saved Arenyth's, then hers disappeared.
This whole situation is just crazy. She said that a bunch of well-known, well-liked Bees were banned. Anybody know who the rest are?
While I think it's kinda crazy to post on the other site, those who just joined recently and weren't actually posting mean crap (as Arenyth said), shouldn't be banned in my opinion. Especially those who were civil and friendly here on the Bee. I don't know...I see both sides. This is just nuts. Can't imagine having to be a mod and deal with all this!
@arenyth1: Everyone who has been on that site has told me that they were nice and not snarky in any way. I've been repeatedly told that the snark attacks are coming from other members of the board, not from them.
And yet despite this, ever since the board went private there has been a barrage of coordinated troll and snark attacks. We have been extremely patient with the snarky boards for over a year. But things have only been getting worse, and it was time we had to take action to protect our members.
You chose to participate in the site knowing what it was all about. I feel very protective of our members, and am tired of our members being hurt by these snark and troll attacks.
You guys think this is all in good fun or whatever... well, our moderators have had to work around the clock shifts for MONTHS because of your fun. We haven't been able to coordinate fun stuff like post-a-thons and the like, b/c you've kept us so busy. I am just sick and tired of it.
@Gingersnap: Anyone who was a member of the private snark site. Arenyth and Mcnkr (?) came on and said that it hadn't been explained to them that terms meant they had to "quit" the other site... They thought they just had to stay trouble free... and their responses were immediately deleted. Don't know who else...
I'm glad they were banned, even well-liked bees. Maybe they were only well-liked because they were posting nice but "inside joke" things. IE. Posting I love your dress its so unique and then heading over to the mean board and posting "OMG, that dress is f-ing ugly". I don't need to doubt everything I read. The fact that they hide their board should tell you something. If its just a place to go and vent whats with it being private? The real reason is they are being jerks.
@Gingersnap: I only know of the two who posted here a few minutes ago (posts then removed promptly). Arenyth and mncrk09.
Dictatorship much?
If they're not stirring up drama on these boards why the ban? They can say catty things elsewhere if they want. WeddingBee Code of Conduct only applies on WeddingBee, right?
I "joined" to see what all the fuss was about. Please don't ban me. I just lurked, and don't know how to quit that thing.
@Dollygold: Yah, we didn't ban members of that snarky board for over a year... that's what allowed the snark and troll attacks to escalate.
It's only after we tried all alternatives that we considered banning ringleaders and members of the board. This has truly been a last resort, after months of tolerance and patience.
@Dollygold: I don't think the issue was that they were saying mean things on another website as much as they were planning mean attacks on other users, and trolling on weddingbee. The website was used to cause trouble here.
Honestly, I think this is nuts. So now if you ever say something negative about the Bee on another site you're going to be banned? What happens if I post something on my blog saying the mass bannings are b/s will that be considered too snarky and will I be banned as well?
And I'm not going to lie, when I think someone is being ridiculous, I'll PM other members and basically be like "OMG, I just wanna tell this girl to get OVER it" which I'm guessing is what a lot of bees joined the other site for; are you going to start moderating PMs too since you're moderating other sites now?
Personally, I don't think this is right. First of all, if all of the moderators are volunteers, why are you spending so much time patrolling other sites on top of this one? And honestly, if having ever said anything "snarky" about another member means you are supposed to be banned, I should probably be banned, too. Just ask my fi, cuz I complain about things that other members post about on a regular basis (usually when he's watching hockey, so he probably won't be able to recall the details of my snarky rantings to him).
@Brianalaura: But if they have been perfectly kind and productive members here on the Bee I think that banning them for simply having an account there is way over the line.
ETA: Like @MandaMack said, the Bee doesn't get immunity to independent critisim and neither do it's members. That's the simple reailty of free speech.
@amusememuscially - I'm in the same boat as you. I had joined that site to see what it was all about but didn't see too much going on over there. In fact, I think that site kicked me off because I wasn't able to log back on to it again later. I didn't see anything anyway. They said most of the boards over there were locked down. So I hope I don't get kicked off of here because I looked at the other site briefly.
@amariem25: Well, I'm still here, so far so good. I think a lot of people probably created accounts there in hopes of seeing what the deal was. Even in what was left up, I saw two bees badmouthed by name, so I can't imagine what was hidden. Don't think I want to.
If I want mayhem, I'll go to 4chan.
DID LEZLERS GET BANNED???????????????????????????????????
@MandaMack: You're not banned though so I don't think that's their policy
I saw the site before it went private and it was a bit creepy/stalkerish. They would track other information about people down and post it online, they can deny it but I and others saw their forums before it went private. That crosses the line by a lot and I'm surprised more bans weren't put in place earlier.
I don't think anyone's going to get banned for just joining, but one of the deleted posts mentioned she'd joined and posted 40 times in 3 days, which means she was obviously participating in some way. I don't have an opinion on the banning one way or another, but I guess according to Mr. Bee's original statement, amnesty was going to be given to people who hadn't caused drama over here, but they weren't going to tolerate people who were still cross posting and participating over there.
@Dollygold: I think it's easy from outside perspectives to see it that way. But it seems like this has been a major issue for a long time (I've been a member for quite some time, and remember issues with this from AGES ago). I just get a feeling that the admin have a greater picture that we can't see since they are much more involved in the site and see all the details. How do we know these users really have done nothing?
Plus I think I look at being a member of any website forum as a privilege. They make the rules, so they can do what they'd like with the website. But I see what you're saying; if they've really been a sideline party, it would be frustrating to get banned.
@MandaMack: I doubt it - she posted in that other thread about how she didn't want to be lumped in with the snarky posters just because she'd asked for clarification on some of the board rules in the past
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