Following Up with an RSVP vs Forcing Someone's Attendance

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
4576 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@TaurianDoll:  I have a feeling they are still going to come, but aren’t understanding how importatnt it is to RSVP. Would your father be willing to reach out to them? Like “Hey, TaurianDoll is hoping you guys will be there for the wedding, but never got your RSVP after church.”

Post # 4
Member
414 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@TaurianDoll: I think you can politely give them a drop dead date. Either you or your parents need to contact them and say, “If we don’t hear from you by (whatever date you specify), we are going to consider you a no for the wedding.” Unless you have no problem being on the hook for meals for two people who may not show up, I think this is a fair approach to take.

Post # 6
Member
3223 posts
Sugar bee

Can you just take a verbal.  I mean you talked to them, so if they say they are coming, then mark them as coming.  Don’t hang up the phone without an answer.

Post # 9
Member
4576 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@TaurianDoll:  I missed that, I apologize. Do you think their tiff might be effecting the couples lack of response?

Post # 11
Member
480 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Sounds like they are planning on coming just forgetful. Send them and email prompting them for their menu choices or something. Orjust give them a call to get the information you need.

So many of my family have verbally told me they are coming but seem unable to remember to officially RSVP with menu choices.

Post # 13
Member
4576 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@TaurianDoll:  Man, that’s such a pain…I would do what a PP said and try to get a menu choice out of them. If you don’t hear back on *that*, then I’d assume they aren’t coming and dont’ want to hurt you by saying so :-/

Post # 14
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Honestly, I would just stop asking. If they want to come, they will make the effort to RSVP. I do agree that they should let you know either way, but you’ve made your point. They are adults and they won’t appreciate being asked repeatedly or pressured into going. Maybe given your dad’s history with them, they are having a hard time finding a way to decline and don’t want the fallout the decline may bring. I would assume if they were going to attend, they would let you know. Either way, I’d stop asking.

Post # 15
Member
6279 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

people will learn the importance of RSVP when they show up to an event and there is no seating card or meal for them.

 

Post # 16
mswallabyBee
2070 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012 - Oak Tree Manor

Sounds to me like they’re coming but just busy or forgetful. Considering how important they are, I’d save 2 seats for them. Maybe ask one of your parents to double-check with them.

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