wedding day gaffs (cringe) - show me yours, I'll show you mine!
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okay-so when do you have to get out thank you's when each is a book?!
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folo-up Q-- thank yous signed off on by you only or both of you?

posted 1 year ago in Etiquette
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    JoeBeth12    June 12, 2010  

    So I'm writing these thank you cards (I'm the one writing novels on each of them Tongue out) but they're clearly in first-person and I'm saying that hubby and I thank you and we're so happy you could be there, etc.  These are very personal and clearly reflect my sentiments, such as when I say how pleased I was to have finally met so and so -- one of his co-workers or something like that) so it's obviously just me who's writing the cards, on behalf of the two of us.  So do I close with just my name at the end? Is that what you're all doing?

     
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    ceamoste    September 3, 2011  

    i have the nicer hand writing, so i'll probably just put something like, "with love, name and name"...

     
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    jackie-o    October 31, 2010   Seattle, WA

    You close w/ both of your names.  FH and I have a deal - - I write the thank you cards for my family and friends and he writes the thank you cards for his family and friends...That way we're both invloved - - we'll close signing both of our names. 

     
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    VeronicaH    April 24, 2010  

    We split the note writing (yay!). Each of us mentioned the other in the note, but we signed just our own name.

     
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    Mrs.KMM    July 17, 2010   Atlanta, GA (wedding in Indianapolis, IN)

    Sign them from both of you - I'm actually signing my name and then waiting for FI to come home and sign his name to them as well!

     
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    JoeBeth12    June 12, 2010  

    Bees - this is genius! I never ever thought of having FI/hubby write the thank you cards to his family and friends (how mean, how deliciously helpful too).  He's going to kill me, but what a help this will be.  Oh gosh, he's really going to be pissed...

    there's also a bit of a divide here... though most of you are making it appear that both of you have written them; I'll work on that.  It's not the actual signing part I was wondering about, but that's interesting too...

     
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    oracle    October 23, 2010   Los Angeles

    The thank you note topics today got me thinking about this exact thing too.

    For our joint friends & family - we'll both add notes - it's what we currently do now for thank you notes - and so we'll treat it no differently for the wedding (or - at least, that's what I'm hoping FI will go along with! haha!)

    For only my friends that he doesn't really have a relationship with - I'll have him sign his name and vice versa for his (meaning, he'll write the note, I'll sign my name).

     
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    MissAsB    June 6, 2009   Married in CO, Living in AL

    I just wrote both of our names instead of making my husband sign them all.

     
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    JoeBeth12    June 12, 2010  

    I'm not putting my question right -- it's not about whether we both sign or not, well, not really -- you see, the text, the content, is clearly written in first person, by me, from me very personally to the gift giver/the guest and mentions FI - now hubby a lot too... and it just feels so awkward to have this sentiments which come from one individual as if coming from both of us... so why can't the (former?) bride be writing to thank the guest/friend/family member but include how much he and both loved... appreciated... thank you for... blah, blah, blah? am I making any sense or am I stuck on something weird here?

     
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    Jamieawh    07/03/2009   San Francisco, CA

    I believe that miss manners suggests only signing your own name on thank you notes (her thought being that the thank you note is written by one person, so only one person should sign). I think that it would be perfectly correct of you to include your husband's sentiments in the thank you note, but only sign your own name.

    With that said, I think it is a personal choice and I don't think that anyone will think twice about whether you sign only your own name or both of your names. :)

     
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    LALaw    January 23, 2014   Los Angeles

    @JoeBeth12:

    I think I understand what you're asking here.  My opinion is that it is most appropriate for the writer of the note to express thanks for both spouses. 

    So instead of writing "I love the serving dish, it's just what we needed," one can (and probably should for wedding gift purposes) write "John and I are so appreciative, we were both excited when we opened the box and saw our much-desired weed-whacker."

    But honestly, as long as the note gets written, you're in good shape : )

     

     
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    aspasia475    January 1, 2015  

    What you are doing is correct, JoeBeth. You wouldn't normally sign someone else's name to a document; you shouldn't do it in personal letters either. It is a little different with husband and wife -- you do frequently act on one another's behalf, especially socially. It's for that reason that many wives do feel free to sign "John and Jane" on Christmas cards and whatever. But the higher principle is that the signature represents the letter writer and when you speak for your husband you are overt that you are doing so -- just as hou have described.

     

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