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Considering that you have dietary restrictions because of health issues, I think it would be fine if you brought some of your own little meals. Just try to keep them on the DL and don't bust them out in front of all the other guests.
I agree. Bring your food just be discreet about it. & you should prob let the couple know you will be doing this (in a nice, we dont mind sort of way)
You can def bring some food! If you guys are feeling this way I am sure other people are as well! They shouldn't be offended if you bring more food, they have to understand that not everyone likes the same drinks, and food..Not to mention the dietary restictions! I think you should be fine! I would let them know you will be bringing food, they can't possibly have a problem with it! That would just be selfish on their part!
That's very inconsiderate of them. Unbelievably, really, since you'll be in a cabin where you won't be able to have easy access to other food options. It really seems like if you don't bring along your own food, you will be spending the weekend starving to death. I'd be pissed off, but it sounds like you're reacting very calmly and maturely, so props to you. Bring whatever you like and don't feel guilty about if people see you eating it. A host who fails to provide anything their guests are capable of eating is more than rude, it's cruel.
I agree with what the ppl have said: considering that you have special dietary restrictions, it's perfectly okay just be sure to be discreet.
Absolutely bring food. It is totally inconsiderate of them to have nothing there for vegetarians. Rude. But I second the 'discreet' suggestions above, just because they are rude doesn't mean you have to be *sigh* it can be a bitch being polite.
However I would not bring the tea unless the couple is okay with it. If I made a decision about what is served at my wedding and had to stand my ground against other people's criticism to then have my bridal party circumvent my decision and undermine it by brining a drink I didn't okay and already told people wasn't going to be there would upset me. That's only if it isn't a potluck or something where they've asked you to bring tea etc. But seriously, not having the drink some people prefer at the wedding is not a big deal.
Seems really strange that they would not care about anyone other than their carnivore guests. Have you talked to their parents at all since it's obviously not getting through to the couple? The same goes for the tea. Unless the couple has asked you to bring it to the reception, leave it at home and drink water if that is all they have you can drink. Honestly, I would feel more comfortable eating before attending than to bring in my own food. But I would bring snack type stuff to the cabin to tide you over when non-wedding events are taking place.
Ugh. I'm sorry... that really sucks, and it sounds like they're not really thinking of their guests. Still, it IS their wedding, so I agree with others in saying that you should definitely bring your own food, but be discreet about eating it.
I feel kind of bad b/c we're having our rehearsal dinner at a BBQ place, and we do have several vegetarians in the group. (But we have plenty of other picky eaters of a variety of types as well, so this was actually the best decision for us in the end.) We did check with the BBQ restaurant about veggie options, so we know that the vegetarians will be served veggie burgers, plus all of the sides are veggie (potato salad, beans, coleslaw), so hopefully that is sufficient.
I think it's fine to bring in some food for yourself to eat discreetly after the catered events, but i don't think it's OK to bring gallons of a drink to serve to yourself and other people.
I actually agree with Littlest Bird -- I don't even see the need/point of being discreet (except that other people may want to eat YOUR food!!). Even if it was some other family or hosted event and someone had to eat something that they brought from home for health reasons, I would not feel offended at that -- if anything I would feel EMBARRASSED for not thinking of their needs when I was making these plans. In their case, it seems like they don't really care about your needs, so the embarrassment thing isn't a concern, so go crazy!
Do whatever you need to do to be comfortable and not die of hunger or thirst while you are holed up in the middle of nowhere!
People who have hosted me at weddings have nearly always been considerate of me being a vegetarian, especially if I am IN the wedding. This is really lame of them (and a mite bit tacky), so go ahead and bring your own food! -It's not any tackier than what they're doing. I think there should ALWAYS be a vegetarian option for whatever reason. Many of our carnivorous guests chose the veg. option. We also offered vegan cupcakes.
When you say "for health reasons" do you mean that you have a medical condition that requires you to eat specific foods or are you doing so to watch your weight or "be healthier" overall?
Trying to get along for the whole weekend on corn, and not being able to drink any of the available choices, for an entire weekend would definitely not be good for you! This is not like an evening reception in which you could just eat before you left home or after you got back.
Keep the food/drinks in your cabin, and at least you'll be able to get something before and/or after the scheduled meals.
Yeah, I'd agree that it's ok to bring your own food and eat it discreetly, but I would disagree with the unsweetened tea. Could you not manage to drink sweetened tea/water for one day? Or again, subtly have some small bottles of drink for yourself in a handbag or something.
It kind of sounds like you're looking down on this couple's choices quite a bit...there comes a point were you just have to accept that other people do things differently to you. When you have your own wedding, you can provide whatever food and drink you please.
I'm having non-standard drinks at my reception (cocktail and coke, rather than champagne and orange juice), and I don't mind if some people would prefer to go to the bar and get themselves a beer or an orange juice instead, but if someone turned up with a dozen boxes of juice I would FLIP OUT!
Similarly, we've catered for our vegetarian/vegan/allergy guests, but I really took exception to other guests demanding off-menu food because they didn't fancy what we had chosen. I'd have much rathered that they'd made the best of what was on offer, and brought some emergency snacks with them in case it wasn't enough.
I think if you have very specific dietary requirements, you should be prepared to sometimes make your own provision (and if they ask, say you didn't want to worry them with it - I'm sure they'll appreciate it!). The bridal couple have lots of other things to worry about!
@MaggieGirl: What difference does it make? They don't eat meat. It ddoesn't have to be about weight or healthy overall. It could be ethical, religious etc.
I have a few lines of thought on the food issue:
1) What are your dietary restrictions and why?
If it is something like a gluten issue or allergie to specific things they are serving then sure bring your own food and don't worry about it.
If you are a vegetarian I kind of see it as you made the choice not to eat meat so you are going to have to deal with situations where you are the minority (or even the only vegetarians there) and make do with what you have available or very very discretely bring a few granola bars or snacks to eat but do not do this in front of other guest.
If you are just trying to eat healthier - seriously this is not the bride's problem at all and you need to suffer in silence.
2) Do not bring the unsweet tea.
I think it would be a rude way of going behind the brides back to get what you want. Drink water if you don't like sweet tea.
I agree with the PPs, bring your own food. And don't worry abut being discrete as they should have considered an appropriate meal choice for you since you are in the wedding party.
However, I don't agree with bringing your own tea and offering it to other guests. I would drink water if I didn't care for the drink options.
I should also add that I am attending a wedding in two weeks where the all of the meals for the weekend will be served gluten free. I don't have an issue with gluten but the groom does. I am not about to start the "poor me they don't have regular cake and I like regular cake - why can't they have a normal cake just for me" - I am just dealing with it and even if the food tasted like freakin cardboard and I didn't eat a bite and I spent the entire weekend hungry - I would NEVER say anything to the bride - they have enough going on.
This is a learning experience for all bride to bees :) Make sure there is something everyone can eat. I think you should inform them you are bringing your own food because of your dietary restrictions.
Even if I was having a super small budget wedding and only serving bbq if someone asked me what the veggie option was... I would be sure I had one. Its not going to be that much of an added expense and at least it means everyone can eat. We cant live on corn alone :)
Good luck!
Regardless if its a health issue (glueten) or a lifestyle choice I think you should accomodate all of your guests. I'm not saying you have to cook their favorite food but there should be food something there they can eat aside from corn.
Also some people are veggies for ethical, moral, and religious reasons and I dont think that they should be disregarded just because they CHOOSE to not eat meat,
It's not up to the bride and room to please every single person with their meal, that would be impossible.
If someone has dietary regulations, whether due to health or just by choice, it's up to that person to be responsible for what they eat. If a guest cannot eat the food, they should either eat the things they can eat, or make arrangements ahead of time for an alternate meal (either make arrangements with the bride and groom, or bring it yourself).
And I've never heard of it being "tacky" to not have a vegetarian entree. I've having a buffet-style dinner, there will be no vegetarian 'entree', if there are any vegetarians in the group (I'm not aware of any) they can eat the side-dishes.
I wouldn't go to a veg*n's wedding and make a big deal about there being no meat, or about eating tofu (I don't eat soy unless it's fermented). It's their wedding, their food choice.
The bride and groom chose what they figured a majority of their guests would like. There will always be a few in every bunch that won't like what is served, regardless of what it is.
My husband has a gluten allergy and we always travel with a stash of his "supplies." Celiac disease is more readily recognized, but it can still be hard to find options in smaller communities. I see no problem in bringing your own food. I assume the bride & groom are aware of your dilemma and shouldn't be offended by you an FI coming prepared :)
I agree with abbeyful - I've never understood why it's someone else's responsibility to cater to every single preference (for both personal AND health reasons). If someone has restrictions, they should be resonsible for taking care of themselves, IMO. My mom's diabetic, my MIL is lactose-intolerant, I have a cousin with celiac, and there's an entire in-law vegan family of 6....while I'm sure we could have found a dessert option that worked for everyone (sugar-free popsicles perhaps?) we had regular cupcakes. Those that could, ate one; those that couldn't didn't, and the world kept turning.
I think the bride and groom are being rude in this case. The OP and her husband are obviously close friends with the couple so it's no surprise that they have dietary restrictions on what they can consume.
The couple asked BOTH the OP and her FI to be in the wedding party....then expect them to eat only corn at the wedding reception, and potato salad at the rehearsal dinner? I call BS on that!! To be inconsiderate to the needs of your guests is one thing...but being inconsiderate of the needs of your wedding party is taking it to a whole 'nuther level.
To the OP, I say bring your own food...and don't hide it either. From experience, I know that there is a lot of running around involved with being in a wedding party and you need more energy than corn and potato salad will provide.
I don't know... I think this really depends on why you have dietary restrictions. I'm on a "restricted diet" to lose weight in preparation for my wedding and also just to be healthier overall. Do I expect people to have a special "diet" meal for me at the wedding reception I'm going to this weekend? Heck no! I think there are times that brides and grooms should make exceptions for their guests and provide other meal choices - like for people with food allergies, vegetarians or vegans, diagnosed ailments that require specialized diets. But do I think health nuts deserve a special "healthier" meal served just to accommodate their lifestyle choice? No way! If you don't like what they're serving, don't eat it. I'm still curious to see what the OP meant by saying "dietary restrictions for health reasons"... That's pretty open ended.
I don't think it matters at all what the resrictions are or why. Its a PERSONAL issue and IMO has nothing to do with this at all.
While I feel that the bride and groom are free to serve whatever they want at their wedding, they have to know that CORN is not a suitable meal. So they can't be surprised if someone brings an actual meal with them. And I don't think that you need to be discreet either. What are you supposed to do? Hide in the corner and eat? Or perhaps you can just take your food to the bathroom and eat it in one of the stalls.
Give me a break, its just food. If people are upset that you aren't eating the same food as them they live pretty sheltered, sad lives. JMO.
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Fiance and I are in a wedding this month. We're both very good friends with this couple. They know about our diets. Fiance and I have dietary restictions for health reasons. When we asked about the menu they told us. We asked about vegetarian options since neither of us eats BBQ. We were told there would be corn. We both were in shock. They are having cooked at home bbq ribs and pork and the only side will be corn. We know they are on a budget, but really. They say they don't need to offer other options for those that can't eat what they are fixing.
Well fiance asked about the rehersal dinner so we could plan our meals for the month and what we can allow ourselves to eat. They're offering hot dogs, hamburgers, and potato salad.
We have decided to bring a couple gallons of unsweet tea. Because we know they've had quite a few requests for it, and they refuse to make anything other then sweet tea. Although, the groom does want to make "bug juice".
We are spending the weekend with them at this rental cabin (because they are requiring us to) is it wrong for us to bring along foods that we can eat? Nothing that would be a lot of prep. Just some juices, microwavable foods, or salad mix.