Food fiasco.

posted 2 years ago in Food
Post # 2
718 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Church and University

I would provide the food you were planning on and if she doesn’t eat, she doesn’t eat.

Post # 3
90 posts
Worker bee

Serve the food you originally intended to serve. If she won’t eat it, then she can make a trip to the grocery store for her own food. Absolutely provide an extra dish if a guest has food allergies, but otherwise, they’ll be fine.

Post # 4
1298 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Moneyfoot:  let her know what you are planning to provide, and if she needs ‘special’ food, then she can buy/bring it herself. Let her know that some things on her special foods list aren’t readily available/expensive at your local grocery store, so maybe it’s best she bring her own. 

Post # 5
564 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016


Tell her that you are worried about her having enough to eat that meets her dietary requirements and nicely suggest that she bring some snacks for herself (unprocessed nuts, her own water from home, etcetera.)

Serve the food you were planning on serving, and if she opts out- at least she’ll have brought a snack for herserlf or two.

Post # 6
6448 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Let her know what you are providing and let her buy food from there. As long as there are reasonably healthy options (such as fruits/veggies instead of just chips) I don’t think it should be a problem to go with what was planned.

Guests should eat what the hosts provide- I think it’s kind of rude for a guest to try to dictate the menu unless they have an actual allergy.

Post # 7
1236 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA

Mention that you’re doing your best to accomodate her, but she knows her own dietary needs better than anyone. Suggest she bring some snacks and finger foods (Lara bars, macademia nuts, whatever) just in case. Then serve lots of veggies.

Post # 9
3014 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Ask her to bring her own water bottles – I am assuming that you will be at your home every night, or at some place like a hotel where she will be able to fill them. Warn her that it is hot, and she will want to bring enough bottles to keep about 2L of water with her at all times.  To be honest, I would almost buy niceish water bottles for everyone as a favour if you don’t have those already worked out and were planning to give gifts to your guests – you know they will be useful, and the amount of water you will need to purchase for that many people over that length of time may well be similar to the amount you would need to spend on permanent bottles.  If you have a water jug for camping, you can always keep it filled in your car should anyone need a refill on their water. 


I would also make sure there is fresh fruit/veg every day. You definitely can let her know what you are picking up for breakfasts/snacks so that if she would like to bring her own she can – I would just let her know in advance. I have been to family reunion trips where the person organizing the food had asked for my dietary restrictions and then had not told me she was ignoring them – so I didn’t bring the snacks I would normally bring and was very hungry and grumpy for the whole trip because there was nowhere I could run out and buy them.

Post # 11
169 posts
Blushing bee

She’s a quarter of your guest list, so she seems important to you.

Sure, she was inconsiderate. Maybe there was a misunderstanding or miscommunication. Maybe she was just rude. Being 25% of the people invited to your wedding, I would think that you or your FI would know her well enough to guess. 

Bringing her rudeness up to her wouldn’t be hospitable. If she is aware of your financial situation she might not be expecting you to pay for her food for the entire trip. You are probably best off bringing up the subject and making sure she knows how much you are willing to spend on food per person. It can suck being open about money problems, but if having her at your wedding is a priority you probably can’t avoid it. If you accuse her of being rude or high maintenance, etc. you will most likely alienate her.

Could she borrow a reusable water bottle or two from the 2 of you? 

Post # 12
5160 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

 Moneyfoot:  Not that I think it matters if you buy people water bottles or not, but FYI that you can travel with water bottles when flying.  They just have to be empty when you go through security.  I always travel with my own water bottle and just fill it up when I get to my gate.

I don’t think you need to prepare someone’s meals for an entire week, but I’d try to take her dietary prefrences into account given what a small gathering you are having.  Healthy food can be thrifty too.  For example, fruits and veggies make great inexpensive snacks.

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