Post # 1
So FI and I are trying to save money where we can in our wedding. For the rehersal dinner, I would like to invite all out of town guests to the rehearsal dinner as well as the bridal party. Our house is literally 3 blocks from our church, so I thought, “We could have it here! Out of town family can see our house.” My parents and MOH think this is a bad idea to do a large party (about 50 ppl at the most) in our house the day before the wedding. My FI would be staying there overnight with me at the hotel and he says “Adults should be able to clean up after themselves. If not, clean up with paper plates and plastic flatware should be a breeze.”
So I am wondering:
1) Is having the rehersal dinner at our house a bad idea?
2) Is having food trays (apps, small bites) for dinner tacky?
Post # 3
I dont see the problem i went to a rehersal dinner at a house with just picky food its more about socializing any way! but thats just me!
Post # 4
When I was married the first time (circa 1980) this is indeed what many people of the time did for Rehearsal Dinners… they weren’t held at Restaurants (too expensive)
If both the B&G grew up in the same area, and the Groom’s Parents home was nearby to the Ceremony Site / Church, then the Rehearsal Dinner was held at their home
In my case, My Ex-H came from out of State / Province… so his Parents still hosted but they worked it all out with my Parents (lol they had never met before the Wedding)… and the Rehearsal Dinner / Getogether was held at my Parent’s goodsized home… my Mom made all the arrangements as she knew everyone in town (ie Food came via the local Church Ladies… Finger Sandwiches, Cheese Tray, Pickles, Dessert Squares etc) and my FILs paid… they also provided all the Liquor.
It all worked out fantastic… it was a great Pre-Wedding Event that I remember fondly.
The evening didn’t go on for ever… as the majority of the Guests (Bridal Party, Family etc) had to get up and get ready for the Wedding the next day (ie I had an early morning hair appointment)
And cause it was “catered trays”… clean up was easy.
Hope this helps,
Post # 5
@ApocalypseCow: I think if you had a good enough variety of items, you should be ok, definitely.
What about doing chill or soups in crock pots as another option? You could do a chilli bar with a few different types of chilli and then the toppings like cheese, sour cream, tortilla chips, salteens, onion, etc.
then its still pretty easy to clean up and you wont have to worry about “cooking” anything or having to reheat anything since it’ll already be warm in the crock pot while you’re out
Post # 6
As far as having it at a house instead of a resteraunt, thats okay.
As far as having food trays, that is also okay.
I don’t think I would have it at my house the night before the wedding. We have had parties for our friends in the past, using mostly disposable wear for food and the like. All of our friends are 18+, and we still spend a good two hours after the party picking up stuff, including left over food stuffs. They do a fairly decent job, how parties, espeically parties with nibbly pick up and put down food go is that people pick it up and put it down. They get a plate of food, they mingle, and then they put it back down again. Then, they forget they had a plate, go back for more, and there is a half eaten plate somewhere.
And then there are the chances of spills and other ways things get messy.
We thought about renting out our parish hall for our rehersal dinner and doing a similar thing, but my FMIL vetoed based on the fact that no mater how adult people are, you will have to clean up after them.
Post # 7
We had it at our house, so my OOT could see our house and to save some $$$ for MIL. She got BBQ and a ton mac n cheese, cole slaw etc. We had enough leftover for a few days. It was fun, and we actually had our Rehersal at our house, since our space was being used that night. It was fine, people bought their kids and we had bubbles and music and people just got to move around easier than at tables. Everyone helped clean up and the last people left at about 10pm which was fine 😀
Post # 8
If I were invited for dinner and only got apps, I would be pretty disappointed!
You can always make huge trays of lasagna/ziti/whatever, and salads are pretty affordable!
Post # 9
@ApocalypseCow: In regard to question 1: We close on our home in March and marry in June. We wanted rehearsal dinner to be at our house so family could see it while they were in town. My FMIL was adament about not doing it as she has done simialr things at a rented hall and cleanup takes MUCH longer than expected according to her. If people actively involved in your wedding will be cleaning it up then it may not be a good idea or fair to them.
2) We were going to get catered BBQ but I think finger foods, given enough quantity and variety, would be great. Tapas restaurants are popular for a reason!
We opted to do rehearsal dinner at a restaurant on Friday night, wedding Saturday, then a luncheon on Sunday with Panera catering so people can see the house and we will have a few days to clean up. Just another option!
Post # 10
- Wedding: September 2014 - Banff, Alberta
@ApocalypseCow: We are inviting everyone, as most of our guests are from out of town. We are doing picnic food in the park. The food will be on a huge table in a gazebo with fruit/veggies/cheese/meat on trays. I don’t think trays are tacky at all.
Post # 11
Thanks bees for the ideas and advice!
@blondie_bride – What a great idea! I will definatly look into this. September in Ohio can be very frigid for my fam coming from CA and TX, warm chili might just hit the spot!
@springbride23 – Clean up was the reason that my family was against me doing it at my house. My FI said that he has no problem picking up (he was in a frat so morning after full of broken bottles, half filled beer cans, random articles of clothing was the Super Bowl compared to what he anticipates for our rehearsal dinner). If he is willing to do it, then we should do it, right?
@Pixienickie – Are you worried about it being cold or are you in the mind set of whatever happens, happens? (Good girl if you are)
Post # 12
Ok, I voted wrong. I thought it said have it outside, AT your house. I vote have it at your house, with food trays.
Post # 13
@ApocalypseCow: I think that’s a great idea! I can’t image people will be THAT messy…besides if you grab a garbage bag and starts throwing things away, I’m sure other people will take the hint and help the clean up go faster!!