Post # 1
Just a heads up, I doubt I’m getting married any time soon, but bf and I have started to discuss it as a possibility in 2-4 years.
Anyway, I’m 23 and living with my bf (25) of 4 years. He is a pharmacist and I’m in grad school. While I have been, ahem, intimate with other people, he is the only person I have ever been in a relationship with. I met him at 19, and aside from a six month break, have been with him since then. I haven’t missed out on any “youthful” experiences (living with friends, partying, traveling alone, etc.) I truly love him, enjoy his company, we have similar values, and I could see myself marrying him BUT… am I just a young idiot? Once I’m older, will I regret having only had one serious relationship my whole life? I was only 19 when I met him.
Further, he is incredibly loyal. He strongly believes in sticking with people you love no matter what and he hasn’t doubted our relationship like I have. It would kill me though, if he got older and realized he’d wasted his youth on me, want to be “free”, but stay with me out of loyalty….
I don’t know. Just wondering your thoughts/recommendations on the matter.
I’m a long-time lurker but new poster so thanks for your responses!
Post # 3
Sometimes you’re likely enought to meet the one in your first relationship. If it feels right and you see no one else you’d rather be with then I say he’s the one. Your likely to have found your prince without having to go through all those frogs 😉
Post # 4
@buggaboo6: That’s really cute! I like that. Thank you 🙂
Post # 5
I met my SO when we were 15. Were 23/24 now. Sometimes I thought about the same thing, but to be honest, I cannot see myself with anybody else.
I see a lot of my girlfriends date a lot of guys, mess around, etc. Sometimes Im glad I dont have to deal with the drama.
I feel like I have grown with my SO. It feels like our relationship is special and something not many people have.
And I mean, on a practical side, the only thing you could do is take a break and date other people just for the sake of dating other people…. for me thats just somehting I dont want to do, and not worth loosing my SO over.
Post # 7
Personally, I always knew I wouldn’t marry my first boyfriend. And looking back, I’d advise any of my friends not to as well. As my dating evolved, I knew more and more about what I wanted out of a relationship and what qualities in a man suited me. My first boyfriend is far different from my FI.
But, it’s personal opinion.
Post # 8
I’ve always felt lucky to have started dating my FI at 16. I dated a few guys before him, and I honestly can’t picture being with anyone else. I think if you’re happy with each other, and aren’t rushing into things then meeting the love of your life at a young age is really a blessing. We will have dated for 6.5 years by the time we get married in case you were wondering.
“I truly love him, enjoy his company, we have similar values, and I could see myself marrying him” the only thing I would want you to add to that list is “a similar life plan” as in you both want the same number of kids, to live in the same type of place (city, move around a ton, a suburb ect.). Which you have plenty of time to figure out. I’m kind of assuming you two have discussed that and are on the same page but if you haven’t now is a good time to start talking and thinking about it.
Post # 9
I’m only a year older than you, so I can’t give you wise older lady advice, but I can say that I believe that this is just one of those things you need to do your own soul-searching on because everyone is different.
My fiance and I have only ever been with each other and haven’t even kissed other people. My goal was to get things right on the first try and I did. His goal was just to find the love of his life, and he did. We met at age 19 and have been consistently together (no breaks) for almost 5 years. Neither of us is the type to want to party, sleep around, date a ton of people, etc, so our relationship has worked out well for us so far. I know I’m not going to look back on my life and think “gee, I sure wish I’d had a ton of boyfriends and some one-night stands!” because that stuff just isn’t in my personality.
If you love him and you’re content with the small adventures you’ve had, then carry on. If you really think you’ll regret not doing more, then do something about it. You’re the only one who can know these things and make this decision.
Post # 10
I think you just got lucky, and so did I. I met my DH when I was 16 and he was 17, we went through one breakup for a few months when we were 18-19 and we just got married after we both finished our studies and worked for a bit to save a little money (he’s a doctor, I went to law school..)
I think about how lucky i am to not have any regrets of previous relationships. Seriously, if you love him to death, why would you want anything different?
We’re the few lucky ones that got it right the first time, IMO.
Post # 11
You’re not foolish, you’re lucky. I started seeing my husband when I was 15, he was 17. We got married recently at 23/25. We never had any breaks or antyhing. It just works.
Like, @teabiscuit: we learned how to grow up together. We don’t have the same relationship we had when we were kids. We matured together and bonded in that.
There was no sense in us dating other people because we didn’t need to. We’re more than happy together.
As long as you’re happy there’s nothing wrong with marrying your first boyfriend. If you’re both at peace with it no one else’s opinions should matter.
Post # 12
I started dating my husband at 15 and we have been together a total of 10 years and wouldn’t trade it for the world. When you know, you just know. I didn’t date any other guys after him nor did I want to. For you though, it sounds like you might want to see what else is out there to make sure you are making the right decision? I know of a few couples that did this, some got back together because they figured out they truly loved eachother and some did not.
Post # 13
Don’t you think its kind of funny that our society pressures you to think that you are a “fool” if you haven’t had multiple failed relationships?. Follow your heart and stick to your gut, if you have found something ahmazing don’t throw it away.
Post # 14
Sometimes you get very lucky and find true love at a young age. As long as you grow together, and find yourselves continuing to fall in love with the person your SO becomes as they grow, and you SO falls in love again with the person you become, then that’s fantastic! The only thing about marrying your first love is recognizing that change is more likely because you’re still finding yourselves.
I met my FI when we were 16, we started dating right after HS graduation. We’re 26 now and I can honestly say that I have fallen in love with this man multiple times, loving him more as he grew from a teenage boy into a man. We are incredibly LUCKY, and worked HARD, to make it work and to love the people we are now and not just the people we were 8 years ago. I think having weathered the ages of personal growth ‘finding ourselves’ and always still finding each other, we may be better prepared to handle the kinds of life changes that occur later because we have done it before and still always realized we were in love and this relationship is right for us.
For some people, they need to date around, for others they luck out and meet a great guy and dating around becomes silly because that perfect person is right there. Only you know whether or not it’s right for you, if you were 18 and saying these things I’d be more concerned but you’re a bit older, have lived more, and presumably know yourself better.
Post # 15
I met my BF when I was 19 and although it was not my 1st relationship I think if you know, you know! I have a friend who thinks she is head-over-heels for her 1st BF and talks about marrying him and he bloody told her he would break-up with her if they stopped having sex (she’s Christian and feels guilty for doing it now)
What I’m trying to show is that you KNOW if the relationship is a good one.
Now just need to be sure you have the same goals and envision the same things for your life!!
Post # 16
My husband and I started dating as juniors in high school. I was his first girlfriend ever, and he was my first serious one. We dated for two years.
After our first semester of college, he got worried. He thought we weren’t growing up like we should. He wondered what else was out there. He thought he was missing out on his real college experience. And so he broke up with me. We didn’t see each other again for another four and a half years.
When we finally did, we realized what we had been missing the past several years. We had both dated other people, and none of them could measure up to each other. We had both grown up a lot, and we realized that the person we had dated in high school was exactly the sort of person who was perfect for us. We got back together, and now, three years later, we’re newlyweds.
Sometimes the first person you date is actually the person for you. I like to think that if he is right and you do break up, you’ll find a way back together eventually. If you don’t, it wasn’t meant to be.