Post # 1
FH thinks football is more important than most anything else and I’m getting sick of it. I’ve put up with this for awhile but now I’m not sure what to do.
We are planning our last trip down to our DW location and FH is mifted that he has to take 2 days off of work because then he can’t take a day off in November to go see a football game. I’ve won the argument that getting our marriage license is more important than the game, but I know he’s pissed. We received a Save the Date in the mail yesterday for a September wedding for one of his good friends. My response, “looks like another trip we have to plan for!” his response, “Clemson/Auburn is that day, I’m already planning to go to that”
We ended up getting into a somewhat heated argument over his friends wedding. I think its terrible that he is choosing football over his friend. He thinks its terrible that his friend chose a day during football season and thinks that his friend should understand why he won’t be going.
This is starting to worry me for our future. What happens if I have a baby on a Saturday during football season? I feel stupid getting upset about something like this but I don’t think his level of obsession with college football is normal. Any advice on dealing with this? Do you think I’m overreacting to him wanting to skip the friends wedding?
Post # 3
It depends… did he have a special trip planned to go to the Clemson/Auburn game or is it just like any other game? Also, what is he like during football season? Does he watch all day and not go anywhere or do anything else?
Post # 4
@MrsPinkPeony: Is this guy a good friend of his? How many football games does he go to a year? Is it just one team he supports? Or lots of teams?
This does seem pretty excessive. Does he have any money riding on these games? Or is he just going to watch?
Post # 5
Honestly, I don’t think this is too abnormal. My friends husbands best friend got married on a huge college game day – and even though this was his best friend’s wedding he was PISSED! My friend said her husband along with many other guests (male and female) were checking the game all throughout the wedding.
I’m guilty of thinking “aggg wish this event was on a different day so I could see the game!”
Post # 6
Its mainly one team (but he will also go on trips for his college team), he just goes to watch, no gambling involved. He always plans trips to games its not like he never goes or he rarely gets the chance. We live in Missouri but this past season he went on 5 different trips down South. I don’t think this is really a HUGE game either. He has 3 other trips he’s planning to see other games so its not like this would be his only chance to go to one. This is a good friend of his, we’re inviting them to our wedding and we’re having a small wedding if that helps. He did not have a “special trip” planned for this one and I feel like he could decide to skip it.
@AnnieAAA: If this was the ONLY issue I’d 100% agree with you, but its becomming a pattern.
I can’t plan on doing anything on a Saturday in the fall because thats “his” time.
Post # 7
Honestly – this doesn’t seem abnormal to me at all. DH and I refused to have a fall wedding because we didn’t want it to conflict with football games. I’ve had friends plan their weddings around the home schedule of their favorite teams. DH and I make a few trips a year from TX to GA to attend GT football games with friends (and GT isn’t anywhere near as good as Auburn!).
A couple we know planned their wedding for Homecoming last year (the wedding ended up being cancelled but that’s another story) and I know there were a good handful of people venting that they chose such a majorly conflicting date.
I’d cut him some slack. Just because you’re not as in to football as he is doesn’t mean he’s at abnormal levels.
Post # 8
LOL this is definitely not abnormal. At least not where I’m from. My fiance specifically said we would NOT be getting married during football season, and honestly, I wouldn’t even dare do it. Most of my guests would not come if it were during an Auburn or Alabama home football weekend.The only people who would be there would be very close friends and family, and even they would be checking the scores the entire time on their phones, haha.
Is your fiance an Auburn fan or a Clemson fan? If so, then I can definitely see why he’s really wanting to go to that game 🙂 But I definitely see your side too–if it’s his close friend, then he should want to be at the wedding. This is why they say men are from Mars and women are from Venus!
My fiance was in a wedding that fell on the Auburn/Arkansas game this past year. He was so mad that he couldn’t go, because he spends a lot of money on season tickets every year. But, since he was a groomsman, he didn’t have much choice. At the reception, though, EVERYBODY was glued to the TV in the bar area, and everybody missed the couple’s first dance, cake cutting, etc. 🙁
Post # 9
I don’t think we’ll ever understand men and their sports, but this does seem a little excessive. We went to a friend’s wedding that was in the middle of the World Series in 2008 (when the Phillies won), and both my husband and I are HUGE fans. It’s nothing that you can’t get updates on during the wedding festivities.
There is a way to prioritize things, and he’s basically saying that a football game is more important than seeing his friend get married. That just wouldn’t fly with me.
Post # 10
My friends would never plan a wedding on the same day as a Gator game in the fall 😉 I definitely appreciate the craziness around college football (this is why my wedding is in May). I would never skip a wedding over it though, I would probably just complain to my FI a bunch .
Post # 11
We planned a summer wedding so that football wouldn’t be an issue for our wedding. I also let him skip going to my cousins wedding in October because there was a game he wanted to watch. When we were going through an LDR and hadn’t seen each other in a year FH chose to take a trip to a college football game instead of seeing me. My birthday is in November and when it falls on a Saturday I don’t spend it with him. I think with this wedding I’ve reached my breaking point on understanding why he would choose football over other important things.
Post # 12
That seems pretty normal to me. Like others, we planned our wedding around football season. If it was your friend, I’d understand being upset but it’s his friend so it’s his decision. I also have to plan my weekends around when his games are on, but that’s just life. It’s something he loves, I can’t (nor do I want to) change that, so I find it easier to just accept it.
Post # 13
I have planned my wedding around UT football.. I wanted a fall wedding & he didn’t want to miss any of the games so we are getting married on the BYE weekend. I know a girl who got married on opening weekend for UT football & that is where they spend every single anniversary weekend. When I first looked at the venue the lady asked me about the date & why I chose it, when I told her she laughed and said that was a common reason for a lot of the brides she talks to. It is aggravating that some guys think football is so important but that is just yet another thing we will never understand with them.
Post # 14
When I saw the title of your post, I have to admit that my response was “yes, yes it is.” My fiance really wanted a fall wedding and I am kind of annoyed that he talked me into it last winter/early spring… I kept hoping we could do August and skip the baseball playoffs and all of football season.
Honestly, there are not very many football games in a season. Especially for college. If you follow a team, you really, really want to watch the games – any given week can knock a team out of the running entirely. Sure, I have gone to other events during important games but I was not really mentally there… constantly checking my phone, seeing if there was a TV around, agitated and moody based on how much I knew about the score.
I think it’s pretty normal if you’re a football fan for fall weekends to be pretty football-dedicated. I agree that it’s important to realize it’s already a game, but it’s pretty normal for it to be a high priority.
Post # 15
Is the game and wedding at the same time? Could he watch the game and then go to the wedding?
Post # 16
It’s not a question of normal and abnormal; what’s important here is that the two of you are on the same page. This isn’t an issue of right and wrong (like cheating, bad communication, etc); it’s an issue of preference, where each couple finds their own level of comfort (like video games, strip clubs, opposite sex friends, etc).
I think it’s COMPLETELY reasonable for you to be upset that he chose football over seeing you after a long separation, a friend’s wedding, etc. A few of the ladies above are comfortable with accommodating their SOs’ football frenzy, and that’s great. Others would never put up with that type of obsession, and that’s also understandable. What you need to figure out is what YOU are happy with, and discuss this with FI to reach a middle ground.