For all of the young bees out there!

posted 3 years ago in 20 Something
  • poll: What age did you get married?
    18-19 : (3 votes)
    4 %
    20-22 : (20 votes)
    26 %
    23-24 : (21 votes)
    27 %
    25+ : (34 votes)
    44 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    3280 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    That’s a cute article, and I agree! I was engaged at 19, although I didn’t receive any negative comments. We met my freshman year of high school and by 16 I knew we would be married. I would never in a million years give up getting married young for more time being single, etc. I’m still graduating college (a year early), own a house, etc. I really don’t understand why younger brides are criticized if they going into marriage understanding it’s a lifelong commitment not just “playing house.” 

    Post # 4
    Member
    410 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Age makes no difference to me. I met FI when we were both 16, gave me a promise ring at age 17, had sex at age 18, got engaged at age 22, and we will be 25 when we marry.

    Post # 5
    Member
    135 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: January 2016 - Church in Shedd Oregon

    Thank you for that article it was great to read. I’m 21 and i’m engaged but in comparison to my grandparents and my own parents It took me longer to get hitched lol. Even though i’m taking my time (only because of financial reasons) there’s people who think even 21 is too young to get married and I don’t understand those people at all. I grew up in a young family after all.

    Post # 7
    Member
    4043 posts
    Honey bee

    MrsWoods47:  Though DH and I started dating at 15 and 17, we waited until 25 and 27 to get married. We mutually decided to wait until after college and after we had established careers, it’s what worked best for us and we have no regrets. 

    While I don’t really care when people get married, the statistics are usually against young couples, so that’s usually why most people raise an eyebrow.

    Post # 8
    Member
    9226 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2018

    Thank you for sharing that great article! FI and I started dating at 18, engaged at 21, will get married hopefully at 26, but we would have preferred to get married sooner at 23 and 24. Hopefully some older bees read the article too 🙂

    We are having such a long engagement because we want to wait until I am finished university/college (he hasn’t and maybe won’t do further studies, but if he does we will still go ahead and get married), both have jobs and we live together. My health has prevented me from keeping up with university for a while, just started back and I am only now close to returning to work. Hence why the length of the engagement changed from 3 1/2 years to over 5 years, and the date changed from 2015 to probably 2017. Plus we both live with our parents and want to live together for about six months if not longer before we get married.

    • This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by  Jacqui90.
    Post # 9
    Member
    3097 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013 - A court...

    Got married at 19. Sweet, but corny IMO , but I’m not the romantic type *shrug*

    Post # 10
    Member
    5199 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    That article is cute…but I don’t think it gets at any of the reasons that some older bees thing that it’s better to get married when you’re older.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1131 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I am not against people getting married young, but this article has a lot of problems. It is one thing to know yourself at a young age and decide to commit to a partner. It’s another to equate marriage with “giving up your whole self”, becoming “his” (a man’s possession?) and “no longer having an agenda” or “meeting new people” (at age 19? How sad!)

    Whether married at 19 or 39, if you think marriage means erasing your own self and desires so you can become another person’s property, you are too immature to be married. My opinion, of course.

    Post # 12
    Member
    9226 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2018

    ohnatto:  I agree, you still meet new people, are a whole person and have goals after you are married no matter how old you are! I am his, but I am still a person not a possession. I think the writer of the article only meant ‘new potential partners’ when she said ‘new people’, I hope so anyway, otherwise that’s really sad she is not open to meeting new colleagues or even friends!

    • This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by  Jacqui90.
    Post # 15
    Member
    1335 posts
    Bumble bee

    This article was really sweet.  But looking back, I’m REALLY glad I did not marry my high school sweetheart when he proposed to me while we were both still in high school.  I have changed so much over the years (and so has he), now that I’m in my mid 30s, he and I are not compatible in any shape or form today.  I understand what the writer was trying to say, but she is still young and she and her DH does not sound like they have really gone through the toils that life will bring you as you age.

    In this day and age, with modern technology and all the luxuries at our disposal, there is so much more opportunities for a young person to experience and explore it would be doing yourself a HUGE disadvanatage to not take those opportunities to learn and grow as a person before you settle down and start a family. This is not like our grandparents’ time where it was imperative for people to marry around really young in order to start a family and be able to survive as a unit. 

    I totally get what the author is saying and I agree that in marriage, it is a time to stop being selfish and more about your relationship and interdependence. But you are young and full of energy/life only once. With such a big committment, you are taking a huge risk and really doing yourself a disservice if you decide to settle down before you give yourself that time in your younger years to be selfish and independent on your own.  Those crucial younger years are something you will never get back once it’s gone.

     

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