For Bees Who Have Had Marital Counseling Before

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@mimi123:  We were considering pre-marital counseling but I am a firm believer in, “if it’s not broken then don’t fix it.” I don’t feel we need to go, so we aren’t going to.

If cost is an issue, a lot of centres offer free counseling. Friends of ours went on a weekly basis and they said it helped. I am skeptical of the whole process.

Post # 5
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@mimi123:  There are a ton of books you can read on communication. Seriously, I feel that a married couple should be able to discuss their issues without a third party. I am sure counseling does work sometimes but for us, I’d be devestated if it ever got to that point. I feel we have the tools we need to deal with conflict and we have developed them through discussion, trial and error, and hard work!

Post # 6
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

We did standard pre-marital counseling through the Church we got married in!

He covered everything that’s likely to cause a divorce. Our assets, our liabilities, our spending/saving patterns, kids, sex, our expectations of sex after marriage and kids (so much fun to talk about with a man of the cloth…), and making time for one another/making eachother a priority no matter what happens in our lives!

Post # 7
Member
851 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013 - The front lawn of our church

@MrsPanda99:  I think that talking and working out issues together is great and definitely healthy. But, I would add that it can’t hurt to get some advice from someone who has more experience. That’s why DH and I did pre-marital counseling. Almost as more of a preventative, when this happens we’ll know what to do, type thing. Of course, there are still plenty of things for us to work our ourselves lol:) And I’m with you, if we ever had a problem so big we couldn’t solve it ourselves I would be devastated. Bottom line, I’m not for letting problems get so big that you can’t solve them together, but I don’t have a problem with asking for advice. Hopefully that makes sense:) 

Post # 8
Member
851 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013 - The front lawn of our church

@BrandNewBride:  This sounds very similar to the counseling we had. DH and I found it to be very practical and helpful.

Post # 9
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@hisgirl10:  I’m sure there is something to it since so many people do it, but I honestly can’t imagine a third party adding anything to my relationship. If someone needs to tell me how to speak to my husband, or think about him, or treat him…then I am really not sure what the hell happened to my marriage. So many couples can’t communicate though and are just in it “to win,” which simply causes both parties to lose.

I can see it being valuable if you can’t communicate without someone making you. Otherwise, we can hash it out on our own.

Post # 10
Member
172 posts
Blushing bee

My SO did quite a bit of counseling with his ex-wife. They must have been very broken (I do not pry) because the counselor told them they were better off not together and suggested that she move out.

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