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For Better, For Worse

posted 2 years ago in Recaps
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    1.
    Member
    212 posts
    Helper bee
    j_nicolle    October 10, 2009   Midwest

    We've been married for 5 days! But... how do you deal when it comes to the "for worse" part? We're already having issues... which were there before hand and had been worked on but they are back again... basically money and communication issues. For now I just try to remind myself that we will work it out. And I cheer myself up by looking at our pictures that our amazing photographers are getting to us!

     

     

    Attachments

    1. For Better, For Worse :  wedding Img 9429_785675273450_15931423_44327720_86.jpg (29.5 KB, 194 downloads) 2 years old
    2. For Better, For Worse :  wedding Img 9429_785675268460_15931423_44327719_67.jpg (30.4 KB, 74 downloads) 2 years old
    3. For Better, For Worse :  wedding Img 9429_785652274540_15931423_44327132_32.jpg (57.6 KB, 46 downloads) 2 years old
    4. For Better, For Worse :  wedding Img 9429_785689849240_15931423_44328303_78.jpg (36.4 KB, 50 downloads) 2 years old
     
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    Honey
    Beekeeper
    ejs4y8    June 20, 2009  

    Your pics are great =]. I love your hair!!

    Counseling. Those issues won't magically go away. You are young and should get some guidance on how to deal with money and communication and how to deal as you get older, start working, have more money, finish college, etc. A lot of money/communication issues will come up in the next few years; it'd behoove you to sit down with someone and definitely work these out.

    Congrats =]

     
    3.
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    Bee Keeper
    Future Mrs. Martin    August 21, 2010   London Ontario Canada

    You need to sit down together an figure out a way that you guys will deal with your issues! You guys are really young so many many more issues are going to come your way!

     
    4.
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    1,482 posts
    Bumble bee
    Brianalaura    August 14, 2010   Ontario, Canada

    Young or old, money is hard for many couples.  Especially depending on how you were dealing with it pre- and post- wedding.  I agree that counselling is good to get you guys on the same page, especially if you're also having communication problems.  You need to sit down, talk about the money and find a solution that works for you.

     
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    Bumble
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    Mrs. DG    July 18, 2009   Seattle/Tahoe

    In addition to counseling, it might be worthwhile to sit down with a financial advisor and hash out the details.  It's hard to be mad about money when you have a plan that you are sticking to!  We planned with ours how much money to save each month, which accounts bills were coming out of, and what to do with the mortgage and student loan debt.  There's never any debate because we know just what we're doing, and how much discretionary money we can spend each month.

    We also have a competition to see who can save the most each month (above our already designated savings).  It's working for us!

     
    6.
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    Bee
    243 posts
    Helper bee
    mspaisley    January 1, 2000  

    OMG. I. LOVE. Your. Hair.

     

    :)

     

    Good luck, thigs will work out if you talk things through. If they don't, then I suggest counseling.

     
    7.
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    4,019 posts
    Honey bee
    jennifer_espos    June 18, 2010   NYC

    Yeah, good question.  I just put a post up about my money/communication issues with my FI, its getting worse today and I'm so fed up.  But he's defensive and its escalating and right now I wanna punch him in the gut.  PS. that won't help lol.

    I think counseling will be a good tool.  The issues won't resolve themselves and sometimes an unbiased mediator is necessary to be sure the lines of communication aren't getting crossed.  Ugh, its tough.  Money is scary because its ruined marriages.

     
    8.
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    212 posts
    Helper bee
    j_nicolle    October 10, 2009   Midwest

    Thanks for all the comments ladies. I'm dying to talk budget with him, and even have written down a bunch of things. I know there are some people in our lives who would be willing to talk with us about it, but me being a student and having literally no income is not helping the situation! 

    Thanks for all the nice comments on the pictures too. I have a massive amount of hair, so half of it is pulled up into a bun type thing and the rest is left down. My hairdresser and I basically made it up, and I loved it! That's my grandpa helping hubby with his tie, and I love it!

     
    9.
    Member
    212 posts
    Helper bee
    j_nicolle    October 10, 2009   Midwest

    Here's a few more photos, because I just can't help myself!

    Attachments

    1. For Better, For Worse :  wedding Img 9429_785649520060_15931423_44327061_14.jpg (42.3 KB, 32 downloads) 2 years old
    2. For Better, For Worse :  wedding Img 9429_785689839260_15931423_44328301_59.jpg (39.2 KB, 33 downloads) 2 years old
    3. For Better, For Worse :  wedding Img 9429_785689809320_15931423_44328298_27.jpg (45.5 KB, 33 downloads) 2 years old
    4. For Better, For Worse :  wedding Img 9429_785698681540_15931423_44328734_30.jpg (42.1 KB, 33 downloads) 2 years old
    5. For Better, For Worse :  wedding Img 9429_785556855760_15931423_44324032_40.jpg (47.2 KB, 35 downloads) 2 years old
     
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    14,581 posts
    Honey
    Beekeeper
    ejs4y8    June 20, 2009  

    oh that's so cute! Well, even if you dont have an income, you're a student, so you're working on it =]. You still get to help determine the "family" budget. Hopefully he's not too defensive or too "i'm a man, i don't need help" about it. I know guys can get like that =]. Good luck!

     
    11.
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    Buzzing bee
    pmerr    August 14, 2010   Rochester, NY

    Your pictures are amazing & I love your hair!!

    I just thought I'd tell you that-I don't really have any advice :( sorry!

     
    12.
    Member
    946 posts
    Busy bee
    PandasWifey    September 26, 2009   Denver, Colorado

    I love your hair as well, so beautiful. As for the problems, yes you have to work on them, but yes there will always be "better" and "worse" times. It's funny because our six-month engagement period was the most trying time of our ENTIRE relationship. Then once the wedding happened, I feel like so many issues just seemed to disappear. Sorry, I don't really have any sage words of wisdom for how it got better, except to share with you the fact that it did. It CAN get better for you too. Hang in there, and I agree, you may want to consider counseling.

     
    13.
    Member
    474 posts
    Helper bee
    Beav1279    December 27, 2009   Austin, TX

    Did you do pre-marriage counseling? If not, I suggest doing it - even if you've already been married. It's a great way to open up communication.

    My FI and I have already had 2 sessions and we are really enjoying the whole process.

     

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