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I would be surprised by this since usually its the 25 and unders that get the "you are too young" and the 30+ tend to get the "you better hurry up". Mid to Late 20's seems to be the ideal time for society these days.
I don't know. Don't let it bother you. It is your life. People tend to say to wait until you are 30, but my friend is a mother of 3 and she says it is easier to be a young mom. You could say that. You could say you know what is right for you. Another friend of mine (her mother is a doctor) says you should have them before 30. People always have their opinions, chances are, they have little to do with you!
ETA: I read an article recently that said ti is easier for a woman, and better for her career, to have children young BEFORE it is a big problem for her to step away from her job. It was saying it is better to have them at the beginning of your career when it won't impact you as much. It is funny, because I always felt like I had to be farther (opposed to not as far) along in my career- or that I should be- before having kids... Now I am rethinking that. As my Grampa said, "you can have a career anytime, the career can wait!" Good luck choosing what is right for you.
Don't let it get to you. I just turned 25 and I feel like I am behind! We will TTC probably about a year after the wedding (or sooner, depending on when my career gets going). I don't think mid to late 20s is too early at all.
Lol thanks for the encouragement ladies. I feel like no one should be ostericized whether young or older.
I think it depends on where you live. Around here it's pretty normal for women in their mid twenties to start TTC. In our area if you are 30ish you do probably seem old. I live in a pretty big suburban area but we do have a very high military concentration so I honestly think that plays into it.
Only one person has told me I'm too young to start thinking about ttc...and she was an older coworker. I think she thinks I'm 21 though and I'm 24 lol.
Ugh I work in pediatrics sometimes and everyone there feels the need to mother me. Every time I mention a cute baby, they shoot me a glare and remind me of my age. It's awful. I have wanted nothing more in my life than to be a mom, literally since I was a little girl. It's so hurtful when people judge me for wanting to have children right after I get married =( I really wish it didn't bother me that much.
I don't really respond with anything in particular. When I am pregnant, I can only hope people have the courtesy to be happy for us so until then, I just smile and change the subject.
I'm 23 and were being encouraged to start after the wedding! My FH is asking for them now saying that they would be born before the wedding :P
I am in my late 20's, almost 29, and we are trying. I haven't gotten any "you're too young" comments LOL but I guess that's because I am nearing the "you better start soon comments" LOL
I am not TTC yet but we plan on trying around 25. I've done a fair chunk of research and heard it's healthier for the mom and the baby. Once you hit 30, statistics start rising. I can't find these sites now (of course...) but I had no problem finding them online. I even asked a few doctors. Also, our bodies are made to start making babies young (around 15... yikes!) and have lots of them. So you can always tell them that, according to science and biology, you are starting late! haha
I'm probably a bit younger than you, depending on what you consider "mid-20s," but I've gotten nothing but encouragement so far. Most of it is because when they even look like they're about to lecture I simply say, "Due to my fertility issues and all." <-- Which is a pretty big factor in why we are starting younger than we thought we would. I know everyone can't say that, but in general I like to shut it down before it pisses me off. ;)
I think it's no one's business but your own what your age is and when you want to have kids. Younger, Older, or whatever the "right" age is, if your heart is in the right place, you can provide a stable loving home, and you feel ready...do it. <-- Pun intended. ;)
@AmeliaBedelia: Ditto. I always generally start with the because of issues thing and no one usually comments negatively after that! I never go into extreme detail about what those "issues" are unless it's someone that I'm close to though.
@Mr.Smithsgirl: My doctor just told me this the last time I was in for a routine checkup on my ovarian cyst. He said, 'why are you so worried about having a baby? You are still so young'. Excuse me. I want to TTC/have a baby before I'm 30, due to what FI and I have talked about as far as our ages/how old we want to be when we are done having kids. What does he mean I'm young? Can't I express my concerns NOW, rather than wait until the door is closing on my fertile years?
@soyjoy222: I had my OBGYN rudely tell me that I needed to get pregnant soon (when I was 22) and that I'd have a hysterectomy in the near future. That was the last time I went to him.
@soyjoy222: Yeah, one of my Doctors told me "don't worry about it, you can wait until you're successful!" First of all...implying I won't be successful if we have kids now, but also saying no biggie in regards to my endometriosis, pcos, and scar tissue/fallopian tubes issue. ARE YOU KIDDING? It was bad enough for surgery but not bad enough to subsequently start trying? Ha.
@cbee: I've been hearing this a lot lately too! And the more I think about it, the more it makes sense. I mean clearly it is better, if possible, to get your schooling over with before having kids because it can be tough justifying paying for school / going into debt for it when you have kids to take care of, but taking time out of your career when you are established and a lot of people are counting on you seems like it would turn a lot more heads than slipping away for a few months or a year as a less-noticed underling.
For me, I will be TTC during the 2nd/3rd year of my PhD, which personally I think is the best time. Flexible hours, possibility to work at home a lot of the time, plus I'm still young enough to pull all-nighters and function the next day (and, ahem, drink too much at the bar on friday night and wake up to work at my part time job all day saturday), so I'm pretty sure I'm in prime physical shape to be waking up every 2 hours with a newborn! Not that I plan on staying in academia, but during the PhD is generally known to be the best time to begin your family, becasue during the years when you are post-docing or working toward tenure are pretty thankless. No room for error, no room for low productivity, no consideration of motherhood. Brutal.
I haven't gotten any of that except from my older sister who wants a cousin for my nephew but she's more or less joking.
Well, I already have a daughter, and the whole time I was pregnant I got the "you're so young" speech A LOT. I was young at 20, but not THAT young. That being said, now that I already have a child, even though I'm only 23, people have told me I better not wait too long to have another. IMO, I have plenty of time to have another, but I think everyone expects us to have a second right after we get married. All of this sums up to: people will tell you how to live your life no matter how old you are or what your situation is. Just ignore them. Do what makes you happy since it's YOUR life.
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Have you been told by others that you are "too young" to have a child? If so what did you respond or how did you deal with it? Im in my mid twenties and plan to TTC in two or three years because I'm currently working on my MBA. How should I respond to someones unsolicited advice?