Post # 1
Hi bees! Our potential reception site holds 200 maximum. I think that is a lot, and 2 of my friends have said the thing they would have changed about their weddings would have been to invite fewer people. Our guest list (unedited) currently has 250 people, ack.
I’d like to keep the number around 150-175, but I need to convince my FI that:
a) 200 people would make the room feel really crowded.
b) 200 people are a lot of people to greet and chat with during our reception, cutting down on our fun time with our friends
He would like 200 people because he knows his mom will make him cut down his friend list to invite her friends. My parents don’t care – I’ve already talked with them, they are pretty chill and only really want about 10 people. His mom gave us a list of 74 people (hell no).
As a note, his parents are paying zero dollars as of now. Mine are making a hefty contribution (about 65%).
Help me bees!! This guest list thing is really causing a lot of stress. I don’t want to start my marriage on the wrong foot with the in-laws, but I do think their requests are extreme.
Post # 3
We only had 38. I wanted a small, intimate wedding with only our closest friends/family. By having so few guests we could really splurge on a lot of other details and our honeymoon. Totally worth it.
Post # 4
OP we had a small DW in St Thomas and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. 25 of closet friends and family…..which is all we wanted!
Post # 5
We had 40 and it was still hard making time for everyone!!
Post # 6
Big wedding, here. At the peak of the reception, I think we had around 225, in a reception hall that could sit 250 and safely accomodate 300. It felt just right, space wise. I would try to keep that guest count around your goal of 150-170. I think if we had been filled to capacity it would have been insane.
ETA: I will add that I enjoyed having a big wedding, and I wouldn’t change that if I could go back.
Post # 7
@LindyLu: We had 12 guests at our family-only DW on Maui. It was perfect:)
Post # 8
Tell the inlaws safety is an issue. If 200 is the max, then that’s that.
Post # 9
We had about 125, and that was 50% my family, 20% DH’s family, 25% our friends, and 5% the in-law’s friends (3 couples).
Other than a couple friends, there weren’t many people we could have left off that list, so I’m happy with it from that perspective, but it was definitely hard to talk to everyone. We had a breakfast at the hotel the following morning, so it was nice to get a second chance to talk to people.
And for what it’s worth, I think your in-laws guestlist (considering they aren’t contributing) is very extreme.
Post # 10
We had about 120 and it was perfect for us, our venue capacity was 150. If we had filled it (we invited 163 guests) it would have felt very crowded. Keep that in mind! I think 150-175 is a good goal with a venue that will max out at 200.
As for the MIL – just say you can have x number of guests and let her trim down her guest list.
Post # 11
Thanks for all the responses – I think my worries about feeling “packed” with a max of 200 people seem pretty legit.
Post # 12
We had around 100 (a couple people were no-shows but I have no idea who lol). Our venue could fit somewhere around 200 people but looking at how well we filled the room, there’s no way I would have wanted the max amount of people in there.
I had plenty of time to say “hi” to all my guests. I made sure to do that after I was finished with my dinner. As soon as dancing started I was done with my rounds and danced the entire time! I wouldn’t change the amount of people at my wedding at all. Unless we did a destination or something.
Post # 13
@LindyLu: We had about 62 or 63 people RSVP yes, and about 60-61 actually showed (one couple no-showed). We had our reception in the event area of a restaurant/lounge. I thought it was the perfect amount of people. I was able to greet everyone one-by-one when we arrived and then mingle/pose for pictures every now and then.
I am impressed by the Bees with over 100 guests. How did you manage all those invites and Thank You Notes???
Post # 14
@LindyLu: I do think it’s reasonable to invite 200 people and only expect 150-180 to show up. Things happen, and sometimes event “definites” can’t make it, and that is even more true for people you are less close to. But you know your guest list the best!
Post # 15
We would have had 50 based on RSVPs, but a total of 48 showed up.
We invited 72, but as ours was a destination wedding, ~50 was expected. We were able to pay for it all ourselves.
Post # 16
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rosehill Community Center
Our venue had a max of 212 people. Our guest list (including Plus Ones) was about 283. My estimate of people that could actually make it was about 225, and I was having a heart attack about it. But in the end, only 140 or so were able to come! So if you can narrow the list down, do it, but you’ll definitely have people say no…