Post # 1
I would love to hear anyone’s input and/or experience in this realm. There are a few reasons why I’m considering allowing the bridesmaids to pick their own dresses.
1. I want them to love them. If they get to pick them, then hopefully that’s a given!
2. I don’t want to impose a budget on anyone. The dresses I was leaning towards were $200. Not horrible for a bridesmaids dress, but I would feel much better if they were able to decide themselves what they can and can’t spend.
3. We are having a casual rustic themed church wedding, and reception in a historic barn that used to store trolleys in Atlanta. I think it could look really cute and go with the look.
The guidelines would be: It has to be some shade of grey and it has to be long.
I feel pretty confident in my decision but I want to know if I’m overlooking something that could go wrong in this situation? Did anyone do it and love it? Regret it?
Post # 3
@FutureMrsT1221: I am for it! I am adding more structure to the process by picking the designer, fabric and color, but they can pick whichever style they prefer.
My sister is currently a BM for a bride that only assigned a color and a type of fabric, and she has commented on how stressful the process is because the bride wasn’t being clear about what she wants (but has been vetoing suggestions by the BMs). Additionally, the bride suddenly started hounding my sister to buy her dress this month, and the wedding isn’t until May. To be clear, the dress isn’t a typical bridesmaid dress so it’s just being ordered from a department store – no wait time. In the end, my sister ended up buying a dress that the bride suggested…soooo not really sure why the bride let her “choose.”
So my best advice is to be clear and honest about what you want from your BMs! I think the mismatched styles are a great look.
Post # 4
@FutureMrsT1221: In a way I wish I had done this. It’s dis-heartening for all brides I think I can speak for, that you know those BM dresses that you love and bought aren’t going to get worn again.
Post # 5
Love it. I did this but I only have two girls & they chose the same dress. (We went shopping together). I also said same fabric- be it satin or chiffon.
Post # 6
If my bridal party was bigger I would be for them choosing their own dress but I only have 2 ladies in my party AND I am paying for their dresses. They do get to choose their own shoes/accessories.
If I were you I’d at least give them a fabric type and maybe be a little more specific with what you mean by “long”. Long can mean tea lenght, floor length, ankle length…
Post # 7
@ImmaBee: lol sounds a little Bridezilla-ish! I don’t think I would be very controlling about the dresses, but I’m glad you said something about the fabric! I should probably tell them all to look for something that’s all or partly chiffon to keep it a tad more uniform.
Post # 8
ahh I’m glad you are all mentioning the fabric!! I think chiffon would be pretty and easy to find. If I specified that it would make it easier on them and a prettier end product I think! Thanks!!
Post # 9
- Wedding: September 2014 - Banff, Alberta
I plan on giving them the color, fabric and site to choose from. They can pick whichever one they want but I want the colors to be exact. I think it is really cute to have mis-matching styles, they will be comfortable in style and price.
Post # 10
I’m probably backwards on this now-a-days. But, I picked out the dress, and they all matched. BUT… I considered all the ladies body types, and it was under 100, and they can wear black shoes of their choice.
I know there are so many really cool pictures of ladies with the mismatched dress thing. But most of those are online, and when you read the details, in actual fact they all had the dresses custom made (or some other expensive thing). Not that that happens all the time.
I have just personally seen some really awful combinations of dresses in real life weddings I have been too. One wedding, they were all pretty much matched except the one girl who looked like she was a wedding guest standing up near the bride instead of a bridesmaid. It was weird. Or their was the girl who you could tell wanted to be the bride….all the girls were in shades of pink, but she was in such a light shade of blush, she looked like bride number two. Wonder if the bride knew about that before her wedding day?
Also, from the wedding I was in, it took me soooooo long to find something that had the requirements that the bride asked for. I barely found one, and it was missing one of the requirements. (i could have found one if i spent over 400).
So, yeah, just my humble opinion.
Post # 11
I’m not really letting them pick, but I am asking for their input and allowing them to veto it. In the end, it’s my wedding and pictures and I think it’s pretty normal to understand you might end up buying a dress you never will wear again (more likely than not). However, I’m trying to keep the budget much lower so I have to think outside the box and not necessarily get something that’s a regular bridesmaid dress. Right now, I’m looking at one of those infinity dresses from etsy – it’s $60, comes with the matching bandeau, and can be worn in enough ways that they will be able to choose how they look, but still match each other. The fabric of traditional bm dresses is just different, I don’t own any dresses in those fabrics and I don’t think I ever would, so no matter what, a BM dress for me will never get worn again. But, an infinity dress can be worn again. We’re also looking into dresses from renttherunway.com and department stores.
Post # 12
@Candycane: that’s really helpful to hear!! all of the bridesmaids are sisters or close friends who all know each other, and I think I would help monitor/coordinate to make sure they all look like they belong in the same wedding haha. I did have the thought that it would be weird if, for instance, they all picked light grey but one who picked charcoal. I may give them like some paint chips or something and say ok, here is the range of colors. but then I start worrying if that’s too many “rules.” Hmmmm.
Post # 13
@futuremrsk18: I was looking at those convertible dresses too! I love the whole concept. There are beautiful ones from Dessy that cost $140. I looked at cheaper ones on etsy and I found HORRIBLE reviews and they had a no return policy since it was custom made!! it may not be the same shop but please make sure you read the reviews!! 🙂 one of the reviews said that the material was like Soffee shorts and the waistband inside the dress was made of the same material as a Soffee waistband!
Post # 14
@FutureMrsT1221: What’s Soffee?
This is the one I ordered in mint:
Came out to $59 after shipping. The store had only excellent reviews. And the material was a viscose/spandex blend.
I ordered one dress and she said she could get it to me by Dec. It’s a one size fits all dress (as it should be, at least the more expensive ones are like that, too). I’m going to check out the fabric and play around with it when I get it and see if my BMs like it.
Post # 15
@futuremrsk18: oh good! That’s great that they had positive reviews, and it must not be the same shop!
These are Soffee shorts… aka cheerleading shorts
Post # 16
I’m a big fan of getting a price point and finding a collection from a designer that you know will look good together. Just be aware you could end up having all but one person have the same dress and if it’s not the MOH it looks weird. If you want the mismatched looked I say go for it. If you’re just not sure I say take everyone shopping and see how it goes. I had 5 very different BMs who all ended up loving the same dress seperately from a collection I loved and they all ended up matching even though I would have been ok with mismacthed as well!