Weddingbee boards

I have no idea where to put this but on November 26th I would have given birth to our baby.  I have a feeling she was a little girl.  We found out that we had lost her on May 16th.  She was a missed miscarriage and I had surgery on May 20th.  I still haven't gone a day without thinking of her and this is a hard time because I just imagine bringing home our new baby and spending Christmas marvelling at the baby. I miss her every single day and what would have been.  Everything happens for a reason.  No one except close family and friends knows about the pregnancy because we were going to announce it right after our first trimester had ended. I found out she had died at 12 weeks 2 days.  I have one picture of her and want to frame it, but our kids don't know about the pregnancy...

Sigh.  I am glad that I have a semi-anonymous way to speak about her in such a great community... Thanks for the shoulder to lean on.

(((HUGS))))  I know this pain well, and I am sorry for your pain.  I would have loved to have shared a birthday with you sweet angle.  

@tksjewelry: Nov 26 is your birthday?  What a wonderful day.  My hubby and I talked about her on our honeymoon night. I didn't want to bring up the sad part on that night but it made me feel really good that he was thinking of her too.  I still have our ultrasound picture and I may frame it and just keep it away from the kids.  She was a surprise for us and at first we weren't thrilled then we started getting excited about names, he hated Sophia Brielle and I loved it lol!!!  But it was one of the reasons I stopped coming here so much, all of the other old bees were becoming mommies and it was too hard to watch.

I think that it was sweet that the two of you added her into your day in your own private way.  There will always be a piece of your heart devoted to her, a piece that only you and the DH will know.  It's been almost 20 years for me, but there are times that it still brings tears to my eyes (like now).  They are not tears of sadness anymore, more of missing what could have been.  If you ever want to talk about it you are more than welcome to PM me.

@tksjewelry: exactly. I am sad that i won't get to see what she'd look like or if she was really a she.  It was definitely the hardest thing that I have ever gone through especially because I looked pregnant felt pregnant and she was gone.  But she stayed with me as long as she could and I am happy for that.

Thanks everyone for the well wishes.  We are unsure if we will try again for another one.  My pregnancy with my son wasn't easy and this time with the loss it is just difficult to even think about it.  If it happens we will be happy but I will be scared to death until I hold the baby in my arms.  My sister is pregnant now and the first ultrasound says it's a girl.  I cannot wait to spoil my niece!!!