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Interesting but I feel the exact same way! i actually shy away from people who blazen "i'm a Christian!" all over their product, business cards, etc etc. It's a little too in your face and I've always felt that religion was private and should never be like "heres my business card, see my Jesus fish in the corner?"
I read an interesting book called "I'm fine with God, it's Christians I can't stand" that discusses a lot of the "turn offs" that people run into with some Christians and this was actually one of the points, about how people use God as a marketing tool for their own benefit.
Just an interesting book with lots of excellent points. my very strict Christian friend took great offense to it. Ironically the book mentioned a lot of her habits and interestingly enough, are most of the reasons I have trouble being friends with her and others who are very forceful about it, particularly when they are completely unprovoked. Something about believing they are doing God's work by shoving it down your throat and telling you you are a bad person and going to Hell, in a nutshell
Then again, I write off most people who are really extreme about anything in my face, not just religion. I'm equally discriminatory =]
I never ran into it. I don't know if I would have a problem with it though. It would just depend on if they were rubbing it in my face or not and how much I liked the service they were offering.
Hubby and I aren't religious either, btw. The officiant did say God a couple of times, but I didn't mind since my family is on the more religious side. I already erred in having a wedding outside of a Church (I think I'm the first lol not that they said anything to me about it).
I wrote off a couple of vendors b/c of their lack of timeliness on responding to me in emails. (not a short amount of time, it was like 2 weeks before they got back to me!) But I haven't run into any super religious folks to turn me off. I usually feel the same as you on people pushing their religion onto you, and the only thing I can think of that would pos that issue would be the officiant. But, my FI and I are going to be able to write our ceremony, so we're planning on writing out all the God talk. :)
It's the "in your face" thing that gets me. I mean, my best friend is a Presbyterian minister! But we respect each other's beliefs and she is actually preforming our ceremony.
Now, I think I run into it more because I live in the bible belt South.
Although FI and I are more religious than others around us, he does find it odd when people use Bible verses as signatures. As FI said, it's fantastic they love their faith and all but does that have to do with our photos?
I answered that I haven't run into it, which is true for the wedding so far, but it does put me off a business of any sort when they have something religious incorporated into their business related materials. It's just so irrelevant--it seems like to only reason to do it is to attract customers of the same faith, and I'd be kind of bothered by someone for whom religion was a factor in choosing a plumber or something. The whole thing just strikes me as odd.
I didn't contact one cake baker that was recommended to me because of her website...the name of her business didn't register with me as being religious until I saw the website and then it was SO obvious. I was a little uncomfortable with the overtly religious material on the website and I knew that FI would say absolutely not, so I didn't even bother looking into it further, especially since there are a million other places around.
I ran into this when I was looking for someone to do my alterations. I found one highly reviewed vendor, but her website was overrun with religious quotes and practices. I was turned off and found another vendor (who is wonderful). I guess I was worried that if it ever came up if I was religious, that I would not be welcomed. It's a big assumption, but I just didn't feel comfortable.
I'm Jewish, and my FI is an atheist. I have ordered products from vendors who advertised their Christianity, but it always creeps me out a bit. I can't imagine using one for a service that required more personal contact. Then again, since we are a same-sex couple, I suspect those people wouldn't want to work for us, either.
This is not to say that I would avoid a Christian vendor generally. People have a right to their private religious convictions. However, if it is something that is advertised all over their professional site, then it would be likely to be too "in your face" for me.
I haven't run into that with wedding vendors. Before I moved I did use a garage for car repairs that had a tinge of that, but it never bothered me. I'm not religious at all and I can't pinpoint why it doesn't bother me.
I think that a verbal remark or something brought up for discussion would bother me more than a bible verse in an email (or in the case of the garage, on the receipt).
I haven't run into this issue with vendors but maybe it's because of where I live. In this part of the East Coast, it's really not big on pushing religion which is great. I know that if I did run into a vendor that ended every message, business card or email with some sort of God message, I wouldn't use that vendor, it's just not my thing.
I have stayed away from vendors that are not quick in returning phone calls, make spelling mistakes in their emails or are late to appointments.
I haven't had any experiance with this with our vendors but with family and even our old newspaper delivery person's voicemail. I'm agnostic and FI is athiest and we still get mail from the church he went to as a child that NOBODY in his family goes to.
It does bother me to hear "God Bless" in a professional sense (unless it's from someone in the church or religion "industry" [my brain is fried so I can't think of the correct word to use]). I feel like it's being pushy and inconsiderate of others. I NEVER say anything and NEVER would but I hate that they assume it's not offensive to someone.
Our ceremony doesn't mention God at all, but is more nature based. We chose our Celebrant because of that. It might upset a few members of FI's family but honestly we don't care... everyone had to stand up at that Aunt's daughters wedding and say that we'd help their marriage be God based and I was offended but did it anyway.
Just my two cents...
I live in the Bible Belt, too, and it's fairly common practice to have religious paraphenilia on your business websites, etc. It's one thing to say "my skills come from the Man above" or something, but then to list a bunch of quotes, verses, etc. You can be subtly thankful without being all intense. Unless of course, you are catering to that particular population. I've noticed a few vendors who use religion a LOT in their blog posts, and a PP is right, if you don't share the exact same viewpoint as them, it would make me feel unwelcome or like I wasn't going to receive as quality of a product because they look down on me. I do have a friend who prefers to use businesses who market their religion because she says she likes to support people who are open believers like her. Hm. Okay. I want good business practice, period.
I didn't notice this when I lived in California, or even here in Georgia or when I was in Seattle. But I notice it EVERYWHERE in St. Louis, and down in SW Missouri where my parents live. Everything is huuuuge on religion and Christmas is insane. I was shocked to see Christmas trees in public schools when I transferred. It wasn't allowed in California because we had lots of atheist, buddhist, jewish, hindu, etc, students and the school system respected their beliefs. Even as a Christian, I wasn't too pleased with all the christmas stuff around for holidays. I knew we had some ohter-believing students, and I'm sure they felt uncomfortable, but simply didn't want to speak up against the overwhelming majority. Ok i'm getting off topic.
I really hate when people try to give me pamphlets then stare at me like I'm some horrible person because I don't want to read what they handed me about saving my soul.
Wow, I guess it's because we're having a Catholic wedding, but I never really thought about this perspective! Another awkward/uncomfortable/annoying aspect of wedding planning, I guess. :(
I went to a wedding where the groom was an atheist and had a number of native american relatives. He and the bride had decided together to have a non-denominational only vaguely spiritual ceremony. The bride went behind his back and told the officiant to 'Jesus it up' and the groom wound up marrying his bride to a blatantly Christian ceremony in front of his offended relatives. Great way to start a marriage!
I've never experienced this with wedding planning, but have had to deal with businesses pushing their beliefs on me and fiance. Once we were on our way to chicago and had car trouble. We stopped in a suburb to find an auto shop. Unluckily for us the only open one we could find was run by a guy that lectured us about religion and god for the half hour it took for a mechanic to look at the car. He didn't charge us since nothing was wrong (i guess), but then proceeded to go on and on about how it was his duty as a christian to help the less fortunate(?). Okay yes we were driving a car that was like 10 years old and come from a small town, but we aren't destitute. We are college students! I wanted to pay him anyway so we could just leave!
I always get really uncomfortable around people that really push their religious beliefs.
I'm generally uncomfortable with anyone who pushes their private beliefs and convictions in a professional atmosphere. I just feel like announcing your religious, political, or personal beliefs and convictions in the professional world is a huge turn-off. Unless the email signature says something like "Conserve paper; consider not printing this email" I think it should just be left out; and that goes for quotes, pictures, etc... on websites and business cards, too. It's just so unprofessional, imo.
Thanks for all the replies. It's nice to know I'm not completely alone!
Wouldn't you know that the one vendor in particular that I'm talking about is the ONLY vendor of that type that I can use at the venue? Argh!
Kate - i agree with you. I would not let it bother me if it were a vendor that didn't have much input on things. Like, my tailor - she's going to just tailor the dress, and not really make suggestions outside of that realm. But if it were a wedding coordinator or something that made suggestions or judgements about choices, that'd be a different story. I'd be very honest and direct and find someone else if it became a problem. I do not have a problem saying no or moving on.
Yes, why would someone include that on their business websites anyway? If I had to choose between 2, I would lean in the less religious direction because I would find them more professional.
KateMW - I totally know where you are coming from. I always get uncomfortable when a religious or political viewpoint is presented so overtly in a completely unrelated context. It is like the person expressing it just assumes I share his or her conviction. And sometimes I do, but it bothers me that people don't take a step back and consider that the world is a big place, with LOTS of people, and lots of different worldviews.
None of our vendors are like that, but a photography blog I follow, the couple is openly religious, and it does bother me that they so publicy declare it on a business site (it's technically a blog, but it's the only website dedicated to their photography business). They take amazing pictures, so I deal with the "lord" comments. But yeah, it bothers me, and I don't think any business should be so open about their religion, one way or another.
My FI and I are not religious at all, but believe in a higher power of some sort. We're more spiritual than anything else.
This is a very interesting thread. I haven't run across this (yet), but I find it interesting that you would assume the vendor would push their beliefs on your because of something religious on the business materials. I think this has to be a regional thing, but I wouldn't assume that just because someone is "X" religion, they would try to convert me or treat me differently because I was not "X" religion!
While, YES, there are certainly fanatics in every group, I find it surprising that you would automatically lump everyone in that fanatic group, before even meeting them! But, I can certainly understand wanting to pick someone else who shares your point of view (I think that's human nature!). Conversely, perhaps that's what they are trying to do (either consciously or subconsciously) - meet with future clients who share their point of view. But, just as YOU wouldn't treat them unkindly because they are religious, you shouldn't assume they would do any different!
Even being from Texas I haven't encountered this much in my life. I've only lived in major metropolitan areas in my life, Boston is the smallest city I've ever lived in! I feel like this isn't something that's prevalent in larger settings, but maybe I've just been blind to it.
My parents are religious, but not in an evangelizing, shove it in your face kind of way. My fiance and I are atheists, but I went to Catholic school and took a whopping seven theology classes in high school, so I know a lot about religion, I actually really like religion, but I'm not religious myself.
So, imagine my surprise when my parents, fiance, and I were at a dress shop in Missouri (visiting my grandmother) and my DAD asked about a sign the shop was displaying. The sign read, "Columbia's Christian Dress Shop." My dad thought they were going to say something about communion dresses, or modest cuts of dresses, or really anything other than what they said. The lady's response was, "We want you to know we won't screw you like those filthy Jews and Arabs down the street." We were all so beyond shocked that we just stared for a number of seconds before my mother said, "I am Jewish," and we walked out the door. My mother is not Jewish, but it did make that lady pause for a moment.
I know that not all people who display their religion in their place of business are like this woman we encountered, but if I see anything like one of those signs in the future I am definitely going to ask about it so that I don't inadvertently give my money to someone in the same class as that woman in Missouri.
@honeybird, why am i not surprised that that shop was in Columbia? Oye
*embarassed to live in Missouri*
It makes me kind of uncomfortable too - and we do go to church pretty regularly! I just dislike when anyone feels the need to declare themselves to strangers. But even more than that, like Mrs Spring said, it's just unprofessional.
This doesn't have to do with a wedding vendor but I work in the human resources field and I have to say it is VERY annoying to call a candidate's phone only to have to listen to 3 minutes of bible verses before getting the chance to leave a voicemail!!!
Sorry but that's my mid-work day rant for this monday afternoon
I'm Unitarian, and my fiance goes to church with me. We had a tasting with a caterer who was a hardcore Catholic. His catering business was in this church basement, so that's where the tasting was. He went on and on about the preservation efforts for the church, and how involved his family is in the church. He got going about homeschooling, which kind of offended my fiance (he and his parents are public school educators). After he finished talking about homeschooling he drug us upstairs to tour the church. When I asked if it was required for the women to cover their heads in this particular church, he said no but that his wife didn't do it because she was "vain." Seriously? Maybe she doesn't want to, or doesn't believe in it....it doesn't make her vain! He went on and on so much about the Catholic church that I could not wait to get out of there! I mean no offense to any Catholics out there, but he just wouldn't shut up about it! He kind of offended me with the "vain" remark, too. It's not the reason we didn't book him, but it was a big factor in the decision to not book him for me.
Ugh.
@ worldtrekkerbride--that is not cool, they are really forcing it on you!
These horrible stories are all examples of people being unprofessional. I don't think it's got anything to do with religion. Religion is just a convenient conduit for them to blab about their personal convictions in arenas where it is totally irrelevant to mention it.
Our cake baker had a subtly religious quote in her signature, and when my parents saw it they said how it was so nice we were supporting a Christian baker. Fi and I are not very religious and didn't 'get' the quote until my parents pointed it out. It didn't bother me... I guess its pretty smart marketing to put something only those who believe the same way you do will recognize.
I wouldn't mind a simple scripture verse or two, because I'm pretty used to seeing those in email signatures or on facebook. I don't think it's the most professional thing to be doing, but it's the vendor's personal choice. BUT if I read anything that was promoting hatred or discrimination, then no way would they be getting my business.
I would never ever book with any vendor if they had anything about religion on their website or any other marketing tool (business cards, etc). I can not stand when others impose their view on me - without being provoked. What's even more annoying is that it's like they're saying 'Hey, my business is approved by God, so you should hire me.'
Whatever.
It's not something I've run into but it would definitely make me uncomfortable. Maybe it's my Quaker upbringing, but anytime someone loudly professes their faith (in typically non-religious circumstances) it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. It's not surprising though. I even have a hard time with "God bless" because it tends to come out like a command. I mean, really? Who are we to tell God to bless someone?
oracle~ I don't think that people are going to try and convert me and I'm not sure how that would be a regional thing if I did. What I feel like is that since I'm not religious and they so obviously are is that are personalities aren't going to match up and we're not going to gel as much as I hope I will with all my vendors.
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I am not an atheist and neither is my husband, BUT we're not very religious. We are "members" of a church, but we don't go ever. It was his dying mother's wish...seriously!
So since I believe in keeping God and church out of most everything {I'm not trying to offend, it's just the way I feel}, I'm a little turned off when I find bible verses on emails or websites of vendors I'm looking at. I automatically feel like there is a big chance that we're not going to gel and I write them off right away. I know that's wrong, but am I alone?
Are there any reason you would write a vendor off right away?