For the ones who have had a threesome, was it worth it?

posted 2 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 2
Member
2151 posts
Buzzing bee

I have been the “guest” person in a threesome (when I was single). I think that’s the only way to do it. It was fun for me, because I wasn’t in a relationship with either person, I was just there for fun. I would NEVER do it with someone I was in a relationship though. I think it’s great that some people can handle that, I know I would be too jealous. Also, my SO would just not be into that. He’s a bit tamer than I am in the bedroom. 

Post # 4
Member
232 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Aug 30th, 2014

We’ve had three- and four-somes a couple of times with some friends, and it hasn’t really been a problem. One time the guy was gay, another guy was (mostly) straight, and then the (mostly) straight guy got a girlfriend, who was also interested.

My fiance seems to have taken it in stride, though he was definitely happy to “even the score” by having an additional female partner the most recent time! 

We’re still friends with the (mostly) straight guy. Things are a bit strained with his girlfriend at the moment, though it’s for reasons unrelated to sex.

Post # 5
Member
2455 posts
Buzzing bee

Though straight, I’ve had a FFF threesome while single, and three separate MMFF foursomes with my fiance. All turned out fine. You just both have to know your boundaries and what you’re ok with and be on the same page AHEAD OF TIME.

Also, be safe.

I prefer the fantasy just because the real thing is actually much tamer (lol!) but I enjoyed it. Probably wouldn’t do it again as married though just because we’ve kind of “been-there-done-that” and we still love having just each other and don’t need to fulfill our wild early 20’s fantasies anymore.

 

Post # 6
Member
851 posts
Busy bee

I’ve had a number of threesomes with a number of partners (both MMF and MFF), a foursome, and participated in three orgies. Some of the times I was a third (or extra), some of the times I was with my FI. I LOVED them. I admit multiple partners are not for everybody, but I had tons of fun every time. The most important thing (other than being safe) is communicating and picking people that everyone gets along with and/or is attracted to.

Post # 7
Member
5421 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

Jennybee224:  I’ve had a 3-some and a 4-some,both involving me and just males, and yeah, they were pretty good fun! I’d be open to a FFM three-some with my OH but not a MMF one as I don’t think my OH could handle it. I’d also be open to group sex and swinging but again I don’t think he could handle it. 

Post # 8
Member
2151 posts
Buzzing bee

Jennybee224:  Hey! Well the girl was my roommate at the time, and the guy was someone we worked with, so technically none of us were coupled. It didn’t make things weird with my roommate at all, but we’re a really open kind of friend group (we’re also both Bi). The guy was pretty much cool about it, the only fallout I remember was some other girl at work who liked him (which we didn’t even know). It wasn’t like a big pre-meditated thing, more like, “well, we’re all 19, we’re all super drunk, why not!” Haha. 

Post # 9
Member
478 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

We like them. We have done it about 10 times in our relationship. 6 women and 4 men. Hes not bi but he likes to watch men on me and watch me please men. I am bi and we enjoy dominating women together.

For some couples in can work and for some it cant. There has to be insane amount of trust and security in the relationship and a want for it on both ends, not just a ”sacrifice” or ”I will do it for you” kinda thing. Ive found those are the people who have the most issues. We are not a jealous couple so it works for us. There should never be ”was he/she better than me” kinda bullshit. Even as a joke, its a red flag.

Its worth it to me when we are feeling a little frisky. Its a lot of fun.

Post # 10
Member
2400 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Jennybee224:  DH and I had a threesome a few years before we got married & don’t regret a minute of it! It was something we had talked about for a long time and were pretty much just waiting for the right person and situation (which was really the most difficult part). We had a very good girlfriend staying over for a few nights after partying and she was talking about how frustrated she was bc she hadnt been laid in a year… Wink wink nudge nudge and ya, we went for it! It was actually a ton of fun, we were and still are great friends so we were able to kind of tune in to what each wanted during the shebang… the morning after DH had to go to work so me & the girlfriend went and hung out at the hot tubs for an hour talking about it all and decompressing.

I don’t think it works for most couples//ppl though. DH and I have been together for nearly a decade and are both extremely secure and trustful in our relationship and talked through so many different scenarios/reactions ahead of time. We aren’t very jealous people so for us it was pretty easy. We really want to do it again, but haven’t found the right time or person… 

Post # 12
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

I did it a few times in my crazy single days and it was fun. I also “dated” a couple for a few months which was also fun. We remained close friends and I don’t regret it. It will never happen in my marriage, though. As the “guest” it was easy. As a person in a relationship, I wouldn’t risk it without certainty that there would never be an issue.

Post # 13
Member
247 posts
Helper bee

Jennybee224:  One of my boyfriend’s friends just got in a HUGE fight with his girlfriend over a planned threesome with one of his coworkers. They broke up for a day and then got back together after she told him that he should “try her (the third party coworker) out before bringing her into the bedroom.” And then she (the girlfriend) got mad when he did hook up with her. And the threesome was the girlfriend’s idea! Needless to say the threesome was cancelled and now there is huge strain on their relationship. So just be careful!

I think the whole thing was just handled really poorly. I think a big thing is communication and interacting with a third person in a setting where you’re TOGETHER and being comfortable with your boundaries. 

Just make sure you’re 100% okay with it.

I’ve never had one myself. The third person in the story above actually totally came onto my boyfriend first and she then suggested a three way with me after he told her he has a girlfriend and doesn’t cheat. Luckily my bf knows better than to ask me for a threesome, nor does he want one himself. So thankfully he rejected her so she could move on to his friend. She still tries to text him though after the threesome with his friend fell through. What a homewrecker. hahaha.

 

Post # 14
Member
1067 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Jennybee224:  I had one when I was younger, and my fella also had one when he was younger, but we haven’t yet while together.  We’re open to it, but it has to be the right situation.

 

*KUDOS to everyone for the thread getting this long without someone popping in to pass judgement! 🙂

Post # 15
Member
3344 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

My husband and I have only ever had sex with each other.  So I don’t have first hand experience with this and I don’t want to.  But my best friend has had a threesome.

It was FFM.  They were all just friends.  Shortly after, the other girl and the guy decided they wanted to date.  It then created a lot of drama because that girl started getting really jealous and possessive of him and didn’t like that my friend had gotten so intimate with him.  So it definitely doesn’t always work out just because no one is in a relationship at the time.

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