Post # 1
Like others here, i have been intrigued to read all the posts about bachelor parties….and i titled this post to attract people who are AGAINST it..i am not writing to start a debate about who is right and wrong….my opinion is that the entire concept of bachelor AND bachelorette parties are ridiculous. i am of the kind who believes that going out to strip clubs is just the most illogical way to celebrate getting married.
i am also fortunate that it is not an issue for me as my FH does not have a lot of close guy friends and we recently moved away from everyone and so we will only see our friends in Jamacia for our wedding. so i am at no risk of having to deal with the awfulness of a wild bachelor party. I am also not having a bachelorette just on principle.
what my post is about now though is to explain that i don’t think the counterpart to a female strip club is the male strip club. i personally have NO desire whatsoever to watch men get naked and dance in front of me. i just don’t find it that enticing or particularly attractive. and coming from city FULL of female strip clubs and only 2 male ones, i don’t think i am the one who feels this way.
So, how about this: tell your FH that you might be okay with them going to a strip club ONLY if they are okay with YOU dancing in a strip club!! that’s right. we don’t like our men to ogle other women and our men don’t like their women to be ogled! To me that’s what makes my FH really understand WHY i don’t want him going to a strip club….when he has that visual of me getting naked and dancing and having tons of dirty men wanting to do things to me….then he understands why i am not okay with him being of those men when it involves other women! i think its brilliant!
tell your FH this and let me know what his reaction/response
Post # 3
I have stated this before in another thread, but FI actually told me he is not having a bachelor party. We have had a rule in place for six years now where neither of us would go to a strip club, as neither of us like them. I was planning on just having a bunch fo my female friends get together at my FI’s aunt’s lake house to watch movies, go bowling, and play games for my bachelorette party. I assumed that he would want something along those lines as well. He does not want one at all lol. He says that it seems silly for him personally, as he is a quiet and reserved man. He would rather treat this as any other step in life–important, but it is not the ending of anything. He also likes to continually say that it’s not that I don’t “let” him go to the strip clubs, he just chooses of his own volition not to go. It is so true. We don’t like to limit each other, but we definitely talk about issues like this. I know this is one of the reasons I love him so much. We are on the same page a majority of the time and we are respectful of our differences. Growing up in a house where my father was not very respectful and was abusive, this is a change that I can get used to. In regards to your argument, I tend to agree. This is how FI and I look at it: neither of us would want the other in those circumstances. This is not something we reached lightly. We tend to pick a topic and discuss it numerous times at different periods in our relationship. That way we can gauge whether or not our stances have changed with time. We adjust things as necessary.
Post # 4
@Sassy5412: very interesting! Never thought of that one, but it makes sense! And I know that would make my husband VERY uncomfortable!!! However, hubs doesnt enjoy strip clubs because they make HIM feel uncomfortable! But that doesnt mean his friend havent tried to force him to go!
Post # 5
HOw funny! That was going to be my suggestion as well! “Sure, honey, you and your friends can go oogle a stripper, so long as the stripper is ME!”
…But then there’s always the chance he might take you up on it. In which case, don’t marry that louse 🙂
Post # 6
I’ve said something along those lines to my FI before, trying to explain to him why strippers bother me and shouldn’t be the goal of the bachelor/bachelorette party. I know FI doesn’t appreciate it if I were to go out to the club and dance with other guys (b/c dancing can get preeettty suggestive). So I asked him one night how upset he’d be if I had dance with some guys when I was out on a girls night. He clearly wasn’t thrilled. Then I asked if he’d be bothered if I’d bought them some drinks, and of course he was less than happy. That’s where I took the chance to explain to him that no, I always respect his wishes (and totally understand them) and I did not dance with guys. And that as much as that would be hurtful for him to have me do that, I would be equally (if not more) upset and hurt if he were to go spend our money on naked women, who may or may not give him lapdances. I think that definitely got the point across, and showed how a view of ‘strippers are just what you do’ is pretty hypocritical when we respect other personal boundaries in our relationship.
Post # 7
I just told my hubby that I wasn’t comfortable with it. Simple as that, he respected my feelings, and didn’t go.
Post # 8
Haha that is too funny…unfortunately I think my man would be like woohoo!! go for it! lol.
Post # 9
I told FI no strip clubs as soon as we started dating. He used to have a couple of friends that really liked them, so I wanted to be very clear since he used to sometimes tag along :). I just told him that I think they’re disrepectful to women and the thought of him at one really makes me sad (and disgusted), and that did the trick. As far as the bachelor party goes, I’m pretty close to his friends, and I told them no strippers as well. They’re nice, respectful guys, so I don’t foresee a problem :).
If he had made it an issue, though, your suggestion seems like it would work! 🙂
Post # 10
Here’s a good one: Tell your fiance you are totally fine with them going to a strip club for the bachelor party, but you get to pick which one. He may say, “Oh really?” Then pick one that is a male dancing strip club. 🙂
@Sassy5412: Seriously, though, your idea is great!
Post # 11
That is a really interesting way to look at things and something I never thought of! I like it!
Post # 12
LOL.. yes I said the same thing… I told him if he goes to a strip club, i will take flirty girl dance lessons and compete at the next amatuer night at the strip joint and win the money back that would spend on all the strippers.. he was NOT happy b/c i told him i was dead serious and so now he wont even think about a strip club.
lol.. it sure worked on him
Post # 13
This doesn’t hold up. The counter-argument to this is that he is passively viewing the stripper while you are actively being the stripper, which is far worse.
Post # 14
@Corykru: Like it. My FH would kill me if I danced at a strip club.
Post # 15
Yep Im pretty sure this would do the trick in making most any guy uncomfortable.. Never thought about it like that before.
Post # 16
This is actually a pretty good idea… I may have to try it. 🙂
Unfortunately, I know my FI wouldn’t mind NOT going, but I guarentee his budies are planning on taking him. Which pretty much makes me want to vomit.