For those of you despairing about waiting, maybe you should think about this…

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
2687 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID

@ISawThreeShips:  +1000 I remind myself of this every day. I’m just happy to be with someone who I love and who loves me back. 

Post # 4
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

I think you have a good point, but I think a lot of the waiting bees are scared because they are doubting how much their guy actually loves them since a lot of the waiting bees are dealing with guys who are dragging their feet. It’s all fine and dandy to have a guy you know you want to marry, but when you’re not sure if he wants to marry you… then it can be heartbreaking. Suddenly cuddling in bed and having date nights just isn’t the same as when the relationship was more carefree and less was at stake.

I know I wanted my ex to propose and he just wouldn’t… I went pretty crazy. I was so glad when we broke up and I realized that he was sooo wrong for me.

And you’re not destined to be alone.. at least with me, love happened when I least expected it 🙂

Post # 5
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Eh… I think everyone is entitled to feel sad about their situations.

Today I was hungry while running errands. Someone else in whe world was starving to death, but I didn’t stop and think “well, I’m hungry, but I’m not starving to death. So I should be happier!”

I thought “If I don’t get food in 20 minutes, I can always start chewing on DH. I bet he’s delicious…”

Post # 6
1802 posts
Buzzing bee

Someone else’s situation is always worse than your own, but that doesn’t mean that you should feel any less sad about the situation you are in. Right now all you want is a great relationship and a great man to spend your life with, but what if you found him tomorrow, but in ten years he’s still just happy with being girlfriend and boyfriend? As humans we evolve and we are always wanting something more and to reach the next step. I look at it this way: I have always been really happy in my relationship with my SO, but after 4.5 years of dating we hit a stagnant point a few months ago. It almost felt like, “if we aren’t moving anywhere then why am I wasting my time?” We moved in together and things are great again. Relationships need to be able to grow for them to be successful.

Post # 7
42 posts
  • Wedding: May 2014

Don’t give up,everything can change so suddenly,I’m an example of that.I’m 24,getting married in May and a year and a half ago I was single,I had been single for three years,my last relationship had been so traumatic,with violence involved,I thought I would never find love again,I was also afraid to find it,afraid the next guy would turn out to be another psycho but at the same time I felt so lonely…Then the unexpected happened and I met my now fiance.Sometimes things happen when we’re least expecting.


Post # 9
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@ISawThreeShips:  I was 26 when I met my current SO. I had a few dates after my last relationship (which was abusive and horrible) and I honestly got to a point where I said screw love, I am done… Then I met him. I can relate to what you are saying, just focus on making yourself happy and you will meet someone. 

Post # 10
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@ISawThreeShips:  i can relate to this post, and honestly it made me sad. i’ve been that person–before i met my SO i’d only had 1 “serious” relationship. even then i use the term ‘serious’ very loosely. i was serious, he wasn’t, and it became abusive. for a while i placed the value of my life in the hands of other people–i depended on other things to make me feel whole. then, i got happy. i got healthy, emotionally. even though a forever relationship was something i wanted, my happiness wasn’t hinged on finding a man (feminism high 5!). i was happy just myself. i didn’t (and don’t) need someone to complete me, though i was open to but not looking for someone to complement me. yes, i did find my SO, and he makes me immeasurably happy. however, if i was 40 or 50 years old and still just me, that would have been fine too because i make my own happiness. life is about so much more than a significant other. while i agree that we should be thankful for what we have, it’s a broad thankfulness we need. we need to be grateful for every bit of the blessings we have, not just our SOs/FIs/DHs.




i see where you’re coming from in your post, but honestly, saying someone shouldn’t feel bad about something because someone else has it worse is like telling someone not to be happy because someone else has it way better. i sincerely hope you find what you’re looking for, OP 🙂


Post # 11
338 posts
Helper bee

@BrandNewBride:  lmao! I needed that laugh haha

I am 50/50 on this.  While it is true that at least we have a great man by our side, that is what keeps me from going into a waitingzilla gf haha I love him to death.  But at the same time since I love him so much I just want to move forward with our lives and get married already!

It truly depends on the person and the situation, and I agree, we can’t settle into being “ok” with it just bc someone out there doesn’t have what we have. 


@ISawThreeShips:  I hope you find that guy soon in your life, and when you do, as cliche as it sounds, you’ll see why it took so long and how much the wait was worth it 🙂

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