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For those of you that DIDN'T meet as youngsters.. would you have dated?

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
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    Melissabegins    December 12, 2009  

    Say you met your SO in college, or at work, basically any time besides K-12 (or college if you went close to home) ..

    Do you think that you and your SO have hit it off / fell in love if you had met in highschool?

    I do not think that we would have at all! I think about the timing and where we each were in our lives and it makes perfect sense. But if we had been in the same highschool? First of all, age-wise it'd be kind of awkward since I would have been a freshman when he was a senior, but that's not unheard of. I just don't think our personalities would have clicked back then.

     

     
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    Kittyachi    August 2010   New York

    OMG no way he was a total dick in high school - Mr. Cool - and I was really shy and not part of the "cool crowd" (we didn't go to high school together but I know what he was like through stories from his friends and from him) I joke all the time that I would have hated him in high school and he would have made fun of me with his friends.

     
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    Entangled    September 17, 2011   Carmel, CA

    High school maybe, college defintiely not.  (we met in our mid-twenties.)  I think our personalities were reasonably compatible in high school - we were both obnoxiously pretentious in that young way.  I think the age difference would have turned me off, though - he's almost two years older, which isn't that much, but for some reason I really don't like the idea of dating older guys.  There was a guy two years ahead of me who was a great guy who liked me back in high school, but I was really weirded out by the age gap.

    In college, he would have been way too much of a jock and a frat boy for me.  There's no way I would have put up with it.

     
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    monitajb    July 17, 2010   Sacramento

    No way! FI was an artsy punk kid who attended class and got out of dodge. I was a huge nerd and was super involved at school (like, two sports, band, school plays, SADD, Academic Team, etc. etc.). I would have thought he was bad news and he would have thought I was Queen of the Dweebs..and we would both have been a little right!

    I didn't meet FI until he had graduated from college and was in that job step just beyond entry level, so he had natural colored hair, no piercings, owned a home, and wasn't so punk rock. I blossomed in college and became much more social and interested in things beyond getting gold stars.

     
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    Melissabegins    December 12, 2009  

    heehee, us too! Well, actually I'm not too sure about my HS social standing, but I was pretty oblivious. I assumed I was a nerd, but I wasn't shy and did have friends in random groups. I just really liked all of my goofy clubs and my circle of friends to try and be popular, haha. He was class president, everybody knew him, etc. I was friends with that group in my HS, but if they were on the nerdier end of the spectrum, instead of the cool end. haha. He still does poke a little fun at me for being the drum major and various pursuits like that, but eh, it was so super fun that I embrace the teasing.

     
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    Helstrong    April 9, 2011   Overland Park, KS

    Not even close. He was a druggie and alcoholic who didn't like to go to school. I was miss perfect, followed all the rules.

     

     
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    cbee    July 26, 2010  

    This is so funny!  I would most likely not have been interested in FI if we had met when I was younger.  It was a specific unique circumstance under which we met, after I had learned a lot and been around the block.  We may have hit it off as friends back in the day, but I had different standards back then, and he was raised with... well... awful circumstances that would have turned me off.  Also, men take at least 25 years to mature, a lot of times, in my experience!

     
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    Melissabegins    December 12, 2009  

    @monita - your FI sounds like me to a T! I was in TWO academic quiz clubs, bahaha.

    I am glad that time was on all of our sides :)  

     
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    brittanymichelle    June 5, 2010   Cheyenne, Wy

    no way! just looking as his high school pics makes me laugh!

     
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    egb    January 2010  

    When I was in high school, he was finishing university... eeeww!

     
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    Asparagus    October 15, 2011  

    I doubt it.  Our dating styles were very different when we were younger.

     
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    esqbee      

    Haha! he and i talk about this ALL the time!  And it's always "of COURSE - i'd love you no matter when i met you!" but, we both know it's probably not the case. he was really shy and i was extremely non-committal - i probably would've given him a really hard time ;)  we always pretend we'd have been compatible at any time in our lives but there's no question we met at the perfect time for both of us.

     
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    ejs4y8    June 20, 2009  

    We would not have dated in high school. i see photos of him and he was waaaaay too dorky and scrawny. we were actually talking about this last night before bed. or maybe the night before. he said i probably would've been too intimidating for him to talk to.

     
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    blondeeebuckeye    February 2011   Austin, TX

    absolutely not---i was in 8th grade when he was graduating =p

    but if we were closer in age in HS--absolutely not! i was the cheerleader, theater star, honor student and he was a long haired hippy who partied too much and thought school was "conforming to the man" (or something like that).

    when i tell my friends he was a long haired hippie, they don't believe me because now he's a clean cut man in finance haha.

     
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    gabrielleelise1981    August 28, 2010   Portland, Maine

    Well, you would have to put aside our age difference (or else, EWWW and quite illegal!), but I don’t think we would have dated in either high school or college because we were different people then, still figuring our ourselves – our interests wouldn’t have matched then. Well, and I was too busy dating a-holes! LOL we met at the perfect time for us.

     
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    jb30    August 28, 2010   St. Louis

    Ha definitely not!  FI and I met in college, but I'm not even sure if we would have been friends in high school let alone date.  FI had a ponytail for a year (which I will eternally make fun of him for) was not involved in any school activities, sports, anything besides playing music in his free time.

    I on the other hand was a huge dork...3 sports that kept me busy year round, band, member of at least 10 clubs, usually held an office in said 10 clubs, and a proud math team member and I still wear my math team shirts to this day.

    It would not have been an issue of me being interested in him (unless it was during the ponytail year) but he would have thought I was a huge nerd.

     
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    monitajb    July 17, 2010   Sacramento

    Well, I should point out it also would have been creepy and illegal, but assuming we were in highschool at the same time. I was 11 when he was 18, so yeah.

     
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    Minutiae    May 2011  

    He was captain of the football team and I was in marching band (not to mention virtually every other music group...nerrrrrd). He looked like Patrick Swayze and I was Princess Squirrely. Add to that the fact I would have been eight when he was sixteen, and no. Wouldn't have happened. :P

    I probably would have had a ginormous crush on him, and he might have thought there was something interesting about me, but I doubt he would have taken his chances until I was college aged, when we did meet.

     
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    rachaelrobin    January 16, 2011   Philadelphia

    I don't think we would have dated. If we did, I don't think I would have appreciated him back then. 

     
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    future mrs kirsch    July 24, 2010   Ferndale, MI

    I'm the odd one out on this one. If we had known eachother we would have dated for sure! We had even been to some of the same concerts, parties etc. We were both in the same crowd just at different high schools.

     
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    Ms.Teddy    April 2011   South Carolina

    DEF NOT!! Teddy is kind of shy and did his own thing..played a lot of basketball and thats about it...My best friend and I thought we were too cool for school and barely hung out with anyone...our "selective" attitude somehow made us the popular kids by our senior year...no idea how that happened but it did...haha. plus i had a secret pact with my best friend that we would never date anyone from our highschool. Yes we both hated highschool and were so glad to go off to college!

     

     
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    caitlanc    September 12, 2009   Western Slope of Colorado

    (Ignoring the 6 year age difference, although I did tend to go for older guys but just 2-3 years older...) We probably would not have dated if we had met in high school but I suppose it's possible.  I'm not sure if we would have run in the same crowd or not.  I could see it going either way.

    However I have told him straight up several times it's a good thing I didn't know him when he was in his 20's.  He was sowing wild oats left and right and I would have written him off as a jerk face pretty quickly.  Which, to be fair, he was.  lol  It's a good thing he grew out of it.  :-)

     
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    Angela83    June 2011  

    No way!

    FI is a very wholesome sort of person.  He actually liked high school, played sports, didn't really date anyone until college b/c he was shy with girls (although he had some female friends).

    On the other hand, I was "too cool for school" like Ms. Teddy :)  I got good grades in AP classes but I couldn't wait to get out of there.  I also dated older guys and did a lot of partying.  I would have been too much of a hot shot to consider him.

     
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    skibobrown    July 31, 2010   CA (wedding in Bar Harbor, ME)

    It's actually funny.  FI and I are both SO different now from how we were back in high school.  I don't really even recognize the girl who I was back then.  But, from the way he describes himself in high school, it sounds like he was actually the kind of guy who I would have dated at that time.   The only sticking point is that he's 4 years older than me, so he actually wasn't in high school when I was... and I doubt I would have dated a college guy when I was only 15 or 16. 

     
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    Ms.Teddy    April 2011   South Carolina

    @Angela-83lol...i almost said too cool for school but decided against it! and yeah I dated older guys and partied a lot..haha.

    ps-my best friend and I were each others dates for prom (we are both girls) and we made sure to spread the word so no one would even think of asking us...and we were at our prom for a grand total of 1 hr...lol.

     
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    Angela83    June 2011  

    lol, maybe we would have been friends Ms. Teddy! :)

     
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    MsMamaBear       Atlanta

    Nope. He was a football star and I was the type who hung with a small group of friends and hated high school. But then, he would have been a senior and I a freshman, and my dad wouldn't have had that.LOL

    Early 20's, neither of us would have dated each other- too many oats being sown by both of us.LOL

     
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    shannon1126    August 21, 2010   Washington, Wedding in Vegas

    Lol ya know I have never really thought about that! Excellent question!!! Honestly though, I dont really think so. Neither one of us were who we are now and we have really grown into who we are and thats taken a little while. I am pretty sure he was a promiscuous little thing and I was very far from that and still am (Fi is number 2 on the bedpost) and I dont think I would have been ok with that. I just dont think we would have been able to truly appreciate what the other has to offer if we did.

     
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    Cricket1524    September 4, 2010   Burbank, CA

    Ha we talk about this ALL the time! He swears up and down that he would have been totally into me but I'm pretty sure that he would not have. I think I was pretty geeky, outsider loner kinda kid and he was the quiet music type but all the girls loved him. I kinda don't think we would have gotten together just because he is a couple of years younger than me and I was crazy about that when I was younger, I had to date my age or older, but who knows we certainly had (and naturally still do) a lot in common.

     
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    BeachFanatic    10-2-10   New Jersey

    hes 8 years older than me...  so i was entering freshman year when he was getting his own apartment and getting a real job.  but besides that, i think our personalities/interests/goals would have worked together.

    however, i was always in long term relationships with D-bags. like seriously, FI is the first guy i dated that even graduated hs. i was into guys with hot cars or guitars. lol. funny because i was a straight A, honors student, athlete, artists that had a wide range of friends and always had a job. how did i attract them?!

     
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    roxy821    August 21, 2010  

    Does it count if I did knew him and wouldn't date him? He was not the type of guy you wanted to be associated with if you were one of those girls. He asked me out for years starting at age 14 and I said no. So we kept in touch a little by aim and things like that and I broke up with my bf and he asked me out again but this time with a group of friends. Since I had nothing to do my best friend who is now my MOH made me go. He ended up getting wasted and I had to drive his car home from the bar and he had to sleep on my couch (not a story for the kids lol). So that week he sent me a dozen roses as an apology and asked if he could make it up to me, well on a weak moment I said yes. He has been nothing but the perfect gentleman and treats me like gold. But it was funny because noone would have every expected him to be getting married so anyone who we knew before we dated asked if I gave him an ultimative because the Mr. Roxy they knew would never get married.

     
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    lemondrop    March 13, 2010   Arizona

    If we don't consider the 6.5 year age difference, maybe.  I definitely would have had a huge crush on him if we were in high school together (total Ferris Bueller look alike in his senior pics!), but wouldn't have been nearly as forward in asking him out.

     
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    piglet_625    January 1, 1991  

    Nope.  We lived in the same county, and had mutual friends in high school, but didn't meet until college.  We DEFINITELY would not have dated. 

    In fact, BF says if we had met in high school, he probably would never have dated me haha.  I was Miss Follow the Rules and he was Mr Stud... not a good match back then. :)

     
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    Knubbsy-Wubbsy    July 30, 2011   Central Texas

    Ignoring the fact that I was in 8th grade when he was graduating high school (I remind him I was in elementary school when he was in high school to make him squirm) most definitely not.

    If we were at his high school we would both be reclusive (I would not fit in there, while I was NHS, I was not competitive with grades) and he would be a pompous jerk. I doubt we would have had any classes together (the only commonality was in AP Lit, otherwise we have differing tastes in classes as he likes the sciences where I’m in humanities and fine arts).

    If we were at my high school, we probably have been in the same social circle (the non-cool “gifted” kids stuck together for the most part) but I would have never considered dating him. He actually looked and acted like my friend’s ex- another guy who I would never date (thankfully we have not talked since I graduated- I hear unlike my guy, he never grew up).

     
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    LittlestBirds    July 24, 2010   Seattle, WA

    Absolutely not. I've thought many times about the brilliance of God's plan in bringing us together when he did, and this is a big part of it. FI and I were both just exactly at the right point in our maturity when we met to fall in love with each other. It actually would have been entirely reasonable for him to have attended my high school based on where we both grew up, and I don't think we ever would have spoken to each other. We were both very proud, quick-tempered, overly cerebral teenagers, and not in a charming way, and I think we would have rubbed each other wrong. Plus, we both look like total dorks in our high school senior photos. :)

     
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    marjojo    July 24, 2010   Nashville

    No way! FI was overweight in high school, and I would not have looked at him romantically, though we might have been friends. If he never showed me his angry side, which was more apt to happen back then. Growing up is a wonderful thing.

     
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    lilyfaith    June 23, 2012   Lakeview, Chicago

    I shouldn't be answering this because we obviously did date at a young age. :P But we didn't hit it off right away. We went to a small private school, where there were basically three groups of people and for about two years we didn't hang out or get along at all - we were totally different people. It wasn't until that time that we started talking more and both changed enough that we hit it off. 

     
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    sarahsd    August 14, 2010   San Diego

    I'm with the age girls...

    I was at his college graduation because my uncle was also graduating, except that I was 10!

    That would have been illegal : )

     
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    andreaandchinelo    09/04/2009   dc

    yeah...NOT.AT.ALL....He was the cool kid, and even though I wasn't a total nerd (sports helped A LOT) I wasn't exactly cool (think *sporty nerd*)...plus I didn't "blossom" until later in life...lol so no, he would have totally looked passed me in high school...but I probably would have thought he was cute, but too shy to say anything... 

     
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    ccranetobe    August 14, 2010  

    Def not..

    He was a borderline party hard druggie, skipping school, pretending to be a good boy in front of his parents and leading the double life.

    While i was the dating older guys, sport, creative type. Plus to mention the age differance.. It would def be illegal :P

    Im glad I didnt meet him in highschool... I have changed alot in personality since going to university and just growing up in general. And I dont think I wouldve found him attractive at all!

     

     

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