Post # 1
I have been hearing through my future in laws that people are complaining about my kids free wedding. My reasons for doing this was to keep costs down (FI alone has 20 cousins under 16) and because I prefer an adult only environment. I feel like when kids aren’t present, there is more order and people can enjoy themselves without worrying about watching their children all night. I knew people would probably dislike our choice, but I didn’t expect them to be so vocal about it. I also didn’t expect the ones who live in town to be so angry. I can understand it more if you are coming from out of town and have to stay the night away from your children, but if you live 20 minutes away from the venue and you go out without your kids all the time, then what’s the big deal?
I sent out invitations on Monday, and so far I only have three RSVP’s back. I’m honestly worried that all the people who have complained will RSVP no. I really wanted a child free wedding, but I also wanted a wedding with people present. I’m starting to wonder if I made the right decision. For those of you who had or are having a kids free wedding, are you happy with your decision? Did you get a lot of complaints from friends and family?
Post # 3
I had a kid-free wedding and all my friends, ESPECIALLY those with kids, have told me it was the most fun wedding they’ve been at. No complaints! People understand that formal evening weddings are not child-appropriate, and most welcomed the opportunity to have get a sitter and have an adult night out! Several parents even dropped the kiddos off with their parents and got hotel rooms near our venue so they could really live it up!
Post # 4
we had a child free wedding. My dad’s side of the family is large. IF I had invited all of my (and DH’s) cousin’s kids, we would have had an additional 25 people!
I’m very happy with the decision (as was DH). I think we had only 1 couple decline because they had no where for their kids to stay.
I didn’t get any direct comments, however my mom got one from my aunt about her grandkids not being able to come. And even then it was “oh, no kids, well I’m not sure if son and wife will be able to attend” but they did!
We had a grand time. Didn’t have to worry about little ears hearing inappropriate things, no one had to worry about where the kids were, so all the adults could have a good time (this meant alot to me for my sister – as she’s got 3 little ones who were in the ceremony, but not at the reception).
Post # 5
Haven’t had the wedding yet, but ours will be child-free. And for anyone who arrives with a child, we’ll have a nanny service ready for them in the basement of the venue! 🙂 Haven’t had too many people fuss about it, although Future Mother-In-Law just can’t wrap her mind around a wedding without children…as if it’s some kind of requirement. Sheesh.
Post # 6
I had a child-free wedding, and it was lovely. In my mind, a wedding (especially if it’s formal) is an adult event.
There are a lot of children in my husband’s family (not so many in mine) that weren’t invited, and many of those families did not come. But, most of them were from out of town anyway, so there is no guarantee they would have chosen to travel to the wedding even if their kids were invited.
Post # 7
@AlliRae: You make a good point. Even if I had invited children, there’s no guarantee that every family would make it. People always find something to complain about.
Post # 8
@Bichon Frise: We had a child free wedding and it was great. The adults could have a great time without worrying about thier kids and could dance and drink.
Now, I did have a Out of Town guest bring their 3yo and it offended a lot of my family. But we did not have the last minute money for a nanny for her. The baby slept through the cermmony (thank you Jesus) and was quiet during the reception. His parents don’t dance so he had someone to hold him
Post # 9
We had a few couples tell us that they were glad they didn’t (couldn’t) bring their kids and that they enjoyed themselves more. As for the rest, I’m not sure. We did it more as a cost issue, though, than anything else. EVERYONE on DH’s side has plenty of kids…letting all kids attend literally would have bumped our list from 100 to 125-150. Seriously.
The only people under 18 we allowed were my 2 cousins (14 and 12)…and only because they were part of the bridal party.
Our wedding was great. Although I may be biased
Post # 10
We had a wedding with no kids, and I would do it again. While it inconvenienced a few people, several people told us how excited they were for a night out. We got the adult, formal atmosphere that we wanted, and all of our friends and family still love us. 🙂
Post # 11
@Gemstone: Same experience here.
My wedding was a black-tie optional formal night wedding and kids would have totally changed the atmosphere.
Post # 12
my wedding isn’t until September, but I have already kind of thrown it out there to my friends with kids that we are planning to have an adult only wedding. All of the reactions have been positive. They were already planning to leave them with a baby sitter.
Post # 13
We had a no kids wedding. Best decision ever. I do NOT regret it! We also had a formal event, and we wanted that adult feel
Post # 14
We had a child free wedding with the exception of our first cousins who were either in our Bridal Party or from Out of Town (total of 5 kids, all but 1 over the age of 13). We never regretted our decision for a second, then again every single one of our guests were totally supportive of our decision and most parents in attendance looked forward to a night off. We didn’t hear a single complaint and I highly doubt that anyone had an issue with it. Most people (atleast in my circle) understand that weddings are adult events and their children don’t automatically get an invite just because they do.
You shouldn’t have to change your vision just because some people can’t manage to be apart from their offspring for a night. Those coming in from Out of Town are one thing but the locals who are complaining about it are ridiculous. Cut the cord for god sakes. Your kid isn’t going to die because you had to be apart from him/her for 5 hours to attend a wedding. If someone has that big of an issue with their child not being included then they can stay home and watch cartoons with their kid while everyone else they know is enjoying a fabulous time at your wedding. Their loss, not yours.
Post # 15
We haven’t had ours yet either, but it will be child free. Mine is for a totally selfish reason though – I just don’t want crying, screaming children running around and hogging the dance floor. I too prefer a more adult environment. If I had children, I wouldn’t bring them to a wedding either (unless they were a flower girl or ring bearer or something).
To each his own. Don’t even worry about people getting a tude. It’s YOUR wedding and YOUR decision. If anyone were to ask me I would flat out tell them my reasons. And not care 😛
Post # 16
I’m absolutely happy with our decision to not have kids at the wedding. The only person who gave us any problem was one of DH’s distant cousins who was mad she couldn’t bring her 3 year old so she didn’t come to the wedding. It’s been almost 2 years and she wouldn’t say Hi to me when I saw her at the store a few months ago. Oh well…