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The thing that kept me calm was being with my husband for most of the prep. That isn't everyone's cup of tea but it really helped me from getting anxious.
I am so glad we took most of the pictures ahead of time but i wish we would have done family pictures ahead of time too- or at least not have them as rushed as they were. We tried to take them between the ceremony and reception and people kept jumping in the background so it felt very chaotic!
I didn't forget about anything- We took most of our stuff to the venue the week of. That also helps things go more smoothly the day of.
I also had all my BM come over to my house for hair and makeup.. it was nice because we could all relax and enjoy ourselves. The only place we had to drive was to the venue.
Also if you have heels- wear them for a full day before the wedding. I had worn mine around the house but that wasn't a true test because they hurt so bad i changed into my flip flops before the ceremony. lol
Do your best to take everything in- it goes by soooo fast! It's been a month and i still am wondering where the time went! Do your best to really make the most of everything and don't sweat the small things. The guests don't know about all the little details so if something is out of place or forgotten, they will most likely not even notice!
Oh and for pictures! I printed out a bunch of shots i liked along with a list and gave it to the photographer ahead of time. I felt like i was being a little controlling but they actually really appreciated it because it gave them an idea of what we liked.
Also it was so fun to go by the florist a couple days before the wedding. I got to see a sneak peak with my mom and cousin-- it made things very exciting! So if you have time that might be a fun thing to go do!
I have to disagree with one small thing Allyser mentioned. I would NOT wear your heels the day before. I wear heels frequently but my feet were KILLING me by the end of the night. I took my heels off once, but I didn't like how short I felt in the dress so I got a bunch of band-aids and put them back on.
If I had worn them the night before too, I would have literally died! : ) That said...I would not have worn a different pair on shoes. I LOVED them. Sorry for all the caps!
My only suggestion is to be somewhere you know you will be comfortable the night before. I stayed at the hotel which I learned had really thin walls. I listened to a couple have sex multiple times throughout the night (like yelling sex, gross). I literally thought about calling a cab to take me home to my real bed.
Besides wishing the reception was an hour longer, I didn't miss/regret anything else.
I'm not married just yet, but I agree with Allyser... I also gave my photographer a CD with ideas of pictures I liked, and that made it a lot easier on her for ideas for our engagement pictures that she knew we would like and she went from there.
I didn't say the day before! oh no no no i just meant at some point before the wedding! So you know where they will rub and you can be preventative by putting band-aids or shoe insoles where you will need them at the beginning of the day!
Try not to get upset if something goes wrong. Yes, it's cliche, but something(s) will go wrong, and it's easy to get stressed out or upset with someone. However, you don't want to look back on your wedding day and feel guilt or regret for acting poorly, so make a conscious effort to just go with the flow!
Great point @lili316!
Our baker messed up every part of her job- made the groom's cake the same as the brides cake when it was suppose to be chocolate, forgot the other chocolate sheet cake and did a horrible job on the decorations of the brides cake! But i am glad that i ignored it for the day and dealt with it later. It wouldn't have done any good to let it get to me then. There is nothing i could have done at that point. So yes try to push any thing that goes wrong out of the way until later- and then you can deal with it if you want!
I got married 3 months ago, and my mom has still been complaining that we didn't get enough family shots. My photographer asked me for a list of shots we wanted before the wedding, but it was so chaotic the weeks before, that I never got around to it. So, make sure you do this! We got a couple shots immediately after the outdoor ceremony, but none during the reception (change of scenery and clothing). We didn't have a scheduled time during the reception to take family photos. We went to a friend's wedding where they took some family photos during dinner, I kind of wish we did this as well. My mom and I are pretty close, she was pretty upset that there were only 2 shots of us together during the whole event.
Shoes....I had my ceremony shoes which I knew wouldn't last me the whole day. So my MOH had a bag full of my stuff, including 2 other pairs of shoes I could wear that were much more comfortable for the reception.
I wish I had test my dress more. It seemed fine at the fitting but after about 15/20 mins at the wedding my dress starting dropping down! It's corset so I had my bridemaids tighten it but then it caused awful back fat which I am still REALLY upset about.
I also wish I paid more attention to taking pictures with people who travelled far. We got our formals but at the wedding things went by so fast we didn't take any pictures with people to travelled to see us.
I also wished (a tiny bit) I had a videographer. At my wedding we ended up having lots of dance offs that I wish someone would have captured on video.
I tested out my shoes for days leading up to the wedding and I still only were able to keep them on until the reception.
Diffinity don't sweat the small stuff. My uplight company didn't call to confirm until the day of the wedding (partly my fault, week of was so busy I kinda forgot they never called me and I called them the night before) and they end up forgetting the large paper lanterns that was suppose to hang over the dance floor. I was disappointed but nothing could be done since I didn't see the room until the cocktail hour. I just made sure they didn't charge me for it. The room looked AMAZING and no one knew it was suppose to be there.
I also thought I would get to my bridal suite at 2pm, be able to have lunch and get ready before the photographer came at 3pm. I didn't get to the bridal suite until 3pm and that's with me speeding. Which brings another point keep all your stuff with you. I was going to drop off all the bridal dresses and makeup the morning of before hair and makeup (becuase we will have an hour to prep) but my mom talked me out of it. Sooo glad since the bridesmaid then had to get ready at the salon and was glad all their stuff was with them.
I would bring a shot list, but give it to the MOH or someone like that who knows who each family member is (as the photographer may not know who's Grandma and such). I missed a couple shots because of disorganization, mostly on our families' part.
Also, I wish we had waited to do the cake cutting until a little into the dancing so it was a slightly awkward staged event.
My advice is to enjoy getting ready, because it's a great chance to de-stress and have fun!
Make sure you eat in the morning. I made the mistake because of nerves not to eat. Once the wedding was over I had a few drinks and had a horrible buzz. Not something i wanted on my wedding day.
I also made the point not to stress on my wedding day about the small stuff. I let my MOH and Mother handle most of the little stuff. Overall it was an amazing day. :) GL
I wish some one would have told me that I had back fat while in my dress! I also wish we had spent a bit more of photography and gotten someone more experienced. I forgot the guest book! Despite all that, it was a truly joyful day!
Of my regrets (and DH's regret)
I didn't get a picture with my MIL - we get along really well and while we got a picture with DH's parents I think it would have been nice just to have us girls. In the same vein, I got a picture with just my dad but not just my mom (they're married but again, it would have been nice to have one just with my mom).
I wasn't nervous or stressed on the day of the wedding but the night before I was up til 2 am working on stuff and I cannot even tell you what I was working on! It's a blur and it couldn't have been that important. If I had a time machine I would go back and spend the night of the rehearsal dinner with everyone who had gathered at my parents' house and dumped whatever I'd been doing. And I missed s'mores which was something I was excited about the whole time we were engaged!
On the wedding day there isn't much I would change. DH's friend/best man and our priest told him to wait until I was halfway up the aisle before turning around and he wishes he hadn't listened to them - so do I! I was walking up with my dad and wondering why he wasn't turning around! Oh well - it was probably for the best because the minute he turned around I got the classic ugly cry face!
Oh one more picture wish - I would have gotten one with my two nephews and niece - I have one with two of them separately but not all of them together. And I would have gotten one with my siblings and me (we have one with them, me and DH).
All in all, compared to what some people regret, we did great!
Also one of my friends from childhood was our DOC and she was a LIFESAVER - I highly recommend asking a trusted/organized friend either to help as a wedding gift or hire someone you can afford to take care of the details you shouldn't have to think about on the day of...
Don't forget to drink water. I was seriously dehydrated on my wedding day. I didn't even realize until the next day that I didn't go to the bathroom from before I put on my dress (11am) until I took it off that night (10pm). I wasn't able to go to the after-party because my body felt terrible :(
Comfortable shoes are way more important then beauty. You don't want to be miserable during the whole wedding (my feet killed me even just during the ceremony) just for pretty feet.
My advice would be:
• Stop thinking that if one little thing isn’t right, the day is ruined. Something will go "wrong" – keep your eye on what’s most important – getting married and having a fun celebration with friends and family. I understand being frustrated by things not 100% coming together, but I think it would be sad if that overshadowed your enjoyment of the day.
• Put some snacks into your purse/whatever bag you will have with you. Put lots of snack in there, and water or juice too! I thought I would have time to eat, then hair/makeup ran late, and if I had not had snacks, I would have been uber-hangry by the time the ceremony rolled around!
• Don’t schedule yourself to the minute. My hair/makeup ran more than an hour over its allotted time (and we had had a hair trial, which ran within the allotted time!). Leave yourself some “spare” time, because again, things happen.
• Prior to the wedding, I gave (and my photog required) a list of important/must-have shots.
• If you have DIY items – set a deadline for yourself to have those done 1 week before the wedding. More than likely you’ll have little loose ends to finish the week of, but if you get 99% done the week before, less chance you’ll be a DIY hot mess at 2am the day before your wedding!
• HAVE FUN!
Put someone in charge of your purse/things to bring to the reception. I sort of tossed everything at my mom and as a result my vows and thank you speech disappeared. Thankfully our officiant had a copy of the vows but I had to wing the thank you and it wasn't as smooth as I had hoped, LOL! I forgot a million people. Grrrr!!!!
Also make sure you put someone in charge of distributing the bouts and bouquets. We were about to do our wedding party photos when I realized no one had their flowers. I was so mad! All the other flowers were out and in place, why didn't anyone take initiative with the bouts and bouquets?!
If your dress gets uncomfortable, undo the big elastic seatbelt thing inside. I wish I had thought to do this. I could have eaten at least 2 more slices of cake ;)
Have a DOC or a trusted friend acting as DOC. It was a HUGE stress reliever for me. I still don't know how to pay her back or how to say thank you enough to her!!!
Give your photographer a list of details you want photos of, as well as a list of "must have" photos with the wedding party, family, etc.
Say thank you as often as possible to the serving staff. They appreciate it.
don't forget a set of comfy back up shoes that are tall enough to keep your dress from vacuuming the floor.
delegate.
talk to your guests.
Ooh, I have some really good advice. First of all, unless you've decided to totally DIY everything the day-of, just sit back and relax. Let the professionals do their jobs, don't freak out if something is going wrong/running late, just enjoy your day for what it is.
Also, look for your Groom. He is the reason you are there. Look for him and only him when you walk down the aisle. Make sure he's happy througout the day. Nothing else is as important as his happiness. NOthing.
Be gracious to the guests who took time out of their lives to attend your wedding. It doesn't matter how big or small, make sure you talk to everyone and thank them in person on the wedding day. Yes it might mean skipping a course or two, but you'll never get the chance again to do it and trust me people notice.
I have a few I have been thinking about:
Enjoy!
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Any other advice besides the obvious enjoy it and stay calm? Was there something you forgot about or forgot to do on your wedding day? Was there a special picture you wish had taken? Anything else? I would love to know!