To or Not To first look???
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For those recently married....

posted 1 year ago in Beehive
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    mwitter80    December 11, 2010   Connecticut

    Any other advice besides the obvious enjoy it and stay calm? Was there something you forgot about or forgot to do on your wedding day? Was there a special picture you wish had taken? Anything else? I would love to know!

     
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    mwitter80    December 11, 2010   Connecticut

    bump

     
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    MissAsB    June 6, 2009   Married in CO, Living in AL

    The thing that kept me calm was being with my husband for most of the prep.  That isn't everyone's cup of tea but it really helped me from getting anxious.

     
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    Allyser    September 1, 2010  

    I am so glad we took most of the pictures ahead of time but i wish we would have done family pictures ahead of time too- or at least not have them as rushed as they were. We tried to take them between the ceremony and reception and people kept jumping in the background so it felt very chaotic! 

    I didn't forget about anything- We took most of our stuff to the venue the week of. That also helps things go more smoothly the day of.

    I also had all my BM come over to my house for hair and makeup.. it was nice because we could all relax and enjoy ourselves. The only place we had to drive was to the venue. 

    Also if you have heels- wear them for a full day before the wedding. I had worn mine around the house but that wasn't a true test because they hurt so bad i changed into my flip flops before the ceremony. lol

    Do your best to take everything in- it goes by soooo fast! It's been a month and i still am wondering where the time went! Do your best to really make the most of everything and don't sweat the small things. The guests don't know about all the little details so if something is out of place or forgotten, they will most likely not even notice! 

     
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    Allyser    September 1, 2010  

    Oh and for pictures! I printed out a bunch of shots i liked along with a list and gave it to the photographer ahead of time. I felt like i was being a little controlling but they actually really appreciated it because it gave them an idea of what we liked. 

    Also it was so fun to go by the florist a couple days before the wedding. I got to see a sneak peak with my mom and cousin-- it made things very exciting! So if you have time that might be a fun thing to go do! 

     
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    sarahsd    August 14, 2010   San Diego

    I have to disagree with one small thing Allyser mentioned.  I would NOT wear your heels the day before.  I wear heels frequently but my feet were KILLING me by the end of the night.  I took my heels off once, but I didn't like how short I felt in the dress so I got a bunch of band-aids and put them back on.

    If I had worn them the night before too, I would have literally died! : )  That said...I would not have worn a different pair on shoes.  I LOVED them.  Sorry for all the caps!

    My only suggestion is to be somewhere you know you will be comfortable the night before.  I stayed at the hotel which I learned had really thin walls.  I listened to a couple have sex multiple times throughout the night (like yelling sex, gross).  I literally thought about calling a cab to take me home to my real bed.

    Besides wishing the reception was an hour longer, I didn't miss/regret anything else.

     
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    Ginger87    January 15, 2011   MN

    I'm not married just yet, but I agree with Allyser... I also gave my photographer a CD with ideas of pictures I liked, and that made it a lot easier on her for ideas for our engagement pictures that she knew we would like and she went from there.

     
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    Allyser    September 1, 2010  

    I didn't say the day before! oh no no no i just meant at some point before the wedding! So you know where they will rub and you can be preventative  by putting band-aids or shoe insoles where you will need them at the beginning of the day! 

     
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    Lili316    May 1, 2010   Fort Worth, TX

    Try not to get upset if something goes wrong.  Yes, it's cliche, but something(s) will go wrong, and it's easy to get stressed out or upset with someone.  However, you don't want to look back on your wedding day and feel guilt or regret for acting poorly, so make a conscious effort to just go with the flow!

     
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    Allyser    September 1, 2010  

    Great point @lili316!

    Our baker messed up every part of her job- made the groom's cake the same as the brides cake when it was suppose to be chocolate, forgot the other chocolate sheet cake and did a horrible job on the decorations of the brides cake! But i am glad that i ignored it for the day and dealt with it later. It wouldn't have done any good to let it get to me then. There is nothing i could have done at that point. So yes try to push any thing that goes wrong out of the way until later- and then you can deal with it if you want! 

     
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    cloudileaf    June 2010   Los Angeles

    I got married 3 months ago, and my mom has still been complaining that we didn't get enough family shots. My photographer asked me for a list of shots we wanted before the wedding, but it was so chaotic the weeks before, that I never got around to it. So, make sure you do this! We got a couple shots immediately after the outdoor ceremony, but none during the reception (change of scenery and clothing). We didn't have a scheduled time during the reception to take family photos. We went to a friend's wedding where they took some family photos during dinner, I kind of wish we did this as well. My mom and I are pretty close, she was pretty upset that there were only 2 shots of us together during the whole event.

    Shoes....I had my ceremony shoes which I knew wouldn't last me the whole day. So my MOH had a bag full of my stuff, including 2 other pairs of shoes I could wear that were much more comfortable for the reception.

     
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    Shoppingdixie    September 17, 2010   New York

    I wish I had test my dress more.  It seemed fine at the fitting but after about 15/20 mins at the wedding my dress starting dropping down!  It's corset so I had my bridemaids tighten it but then it caused awful back fat which I am still REALLY upset about.

    I also wish I paid more attention to taking pictures with people who travelled far.  We got our formals but at the wedding things went by so fast we didn't take any pictures with people to travelled to see us.

    I also wished (a tiny bit) I had a videographer.  At my wedding we ended up having lots of dance offs that I wish someone would have captured on video.

    I tested out my shoes for days leading up to the wedding and I still only were able to keep them on until the reception.

    Diffinity don't sweat the small stuff. My uplight company didn't call to confirm until the day of the wedding (partly my fault, week of was so busy I kinda forgot they never called me and I called them the night before) and they end up forgetting the large paper lanterns that was suppose to hang over the dance floor.  I was disappointed but nothing could be done since I didn't see the room until the cocktail hour.  I just made sure they didn't charge me for it.  The room looked AMAZING and no one knew it was suppose to be there.  

    I also thought I would get to my bridal suite at 2pm, be able to have lunch and get ready before the photographer came at 3pm.  I didn't get to the bridal suite until 3pm and that's with me speeding. Which brings another point keep all your stuff with you. I was going to drop off all the bridal dresses and makeup the morning of before hair and makeup (becuase we will have an hour to prep) but my mom talked me out of it.  Sooo glad since the bridesmaid then had to get ready at the salon and was glad all their stuff was with them.

     
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    soonerpsych    June 26, 2010   Oklahoman at heart, now in Southwest FL

    I would bring a shot list, but give it to the MOH or someone like that who knows who each family member is (as the photographer may not know who's Grandma and such).  I missed a couple shots because of disorganization, mostly on our families' part. 

    Also, I wish we had waited to do the cake cutting until a little into the dancing so it was a slightly awkward staged event. 

    My advice is to enjoy getting ready, because it's a great chance to de-stress and have fun!

     
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    bridget_124    July 24, 2010  

    Make sure you eat in the morning.  I made the mistake because of nerves not to eat.  Once the wedding was over I had a few drinks and had a horrible buzz.  Not something i wanted on my wedding day.

    I also made the point not to stress on my wedding day about the small stuff.  I let my MOH and Mother handle most of the little stuff. Overall it was an amazing day. :) GL

     
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    bluespurrs    August 7, 2009   South-central PA, USA, Earth

    I wish some one would have told me that I had back fat while in my dress! I also wish we had spent a bit more of photography and gotten someone more experienced. I forgot the guest book! Despite all that, it was a truly joyful day!

     
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    AnamCara    April 10, 2010   Ireland/Connecticut

    Of my regrets (and DH's regret)

    I didn't get a picture with my MIL - we get along really well and while we got a picture with DH's parents I think it would have been nice just to have us girls.  In the same vein, I got a picture with just my dad but not just my mom (they're married but again, it would have been nice to have one just with my mom).

    I wasn't nervous or stressed on the day of the wedding but the night before I was up til 2 am working on stuff and I cannot even tell you what I was working on!  It's a blur and it couldn't have been that important.  If I had a time machine I would go back and spend the night of the rehearsal dinner with everyone who had gathered at my parents' house and dumped whatever I'd been doing.  And I missed s'mores which was something I was excited about the whole time we were engaged!

    On the wedding day there isn't much I would change.  DH's friend/best man and our priest told him to wait until I was halfway up the aisle  before turning around and he wishes he hadn't listened to them - so do I!  I was walking up with my dad and wondering why he wasn't turning around!  Oh well - it was probably for the best because the minute he turned around I got the classic ugly cry face!

    Oh one more picture wish - I would have gotten one with my two nephews and niece - I have one with two of them separately but not all of them together.  And I would have gotten one with my siblings and me (we have one with them, me and DH).

    All in all, compared to what some people regret, we did great!

    Also one of my friends from childhood was our DOC and she was a LIFESAVER - I highly recommend asking a trusted/organized friend either to help as a wedding gift or hire someone you can afford to take care of the details you shouldn't have to think about on the day of...

     
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    Jacqi    February 28, 2009  

    Don't forget to drink water. I was seriously dehydrated on my wedding day. I didn't even realize until the next day that I didn't go to the bathroom from before I put on my dress (11am) until I took it off that night (10pm). I wasn't able to go to the after-party because my body felt terrible :(

     
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    artbee    February 28, 2010  

    Comfortable shoes are way more important then beauty. You don't want to be miserable during the whole wedding (my feet killed me even just during the ceremony) just for pretty feet.

     
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    gabrielleelise1981    August 28, 2010   Portland, Maine

    My advice would be:

    • Stop thinking that if one little thing isn’t right, the day is ruined. Something will go "wrong" – keep your eye on what’s most important – getting married and having a fun celebration with friends and family. I understand being frustrated by things not 100% coming together, but I think it would be sad if that overshadowed your enjoyment of the day.
    • Put some snacks into your purse/whatever bag you will have with you. Put lots of snack in there, and water or juice too! I thought I would have time to eat, then hair/makeup ran late, and if I had not had snacks, I would have been uber-hangry by the time the ceremony rolled around!
    • Don’t schedule yourself to the minute. My hair/makeup ran more than an hour over its allotted time (and we had had a hair trial, which ran within the allotted time!). Leave yourself some “spare” time, because again, things happen.
    • Prior to the wedding, I gave (and my photog required) a list of important/must-have shots.
    • If you have DIY items – set a deadline for yourself to have those done 1 week before the wedding. More than likely you’ll have little loose ends to finish the week of, but if you get 99% done the week before, less chance you’ll be a DIY hot mess at 2am the day before your wedding!
    • HAVE FUN!

     
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    bakerella    September 11, 2010   Toronto, ON

    Put someone in charge of your purse/things to bring to the reception. I sort of tossed everything at my mom and as a result my vows and thank you speech disappeared. Thankfully our officiant had a copy of the vows but I had to wing the thank you and it wasn't as smooth as I had hoped, LOL! I forgot a million people. Grrrr!!!! 

    Also make sure you put someone in charge of distributing the bouts and bouquets. We were about to do our wedding party photos when I realized no one had their flowers. I was so mad! All the other flowers were out and in place, why didn't anyone take initiative with the bouts and bouquets?!

    If your dress gets uncomfortable, undo the big elastic seatbelt thing inside. I wish I had thought to do this. I could have eaten at least 2 more slices of cake ;)

    Have a DOC or a trusted friend acting as DOC. It was a HUGE stress reliever for me. I still don't know how to pay her back or how to say thank you enough to her!!!

    Give your photographer a list of details you want photos of, as well as a list of "must have" photos with the wedding party, family, etc.

    Say thank you as often as possible to the serving staff. They appreciate it.

     
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    j.grossman13    May 1, 2010   Harrisburg PA

    don't forget a set of comfy back up shoes that are tall enough to keep your dress from vacuuming the floor.

    delegate.

    talk to your guests.

     
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    moderndaisy    June 2010  

    Ooh, I have some really good advice. First of all, unless you've decided to totally DIY everything the day-of, just sit back and relax. Let the professionals do their jobs, don't freak out if something is going wrong/running late, just enjoy your day for what it is.

    Also, look for your Groom. He is the reason you are there. Look for him and only him when you walk down the aisle. Make sure he's happy througout the day. Nothing else is as important as his happiness. NOthing.

    Be gracious to the guests who took time out of their lives to attend your wedding. It doesn't matter how big or small, make sure you talk to everyone and thank them in person on the wedding day. Yes it might mean skipping a course or two, but you'll never get the chance again to do it and trust me people notice.

     
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    PitBulLover    August 21, 2010  
    • Try to take pictures with as many people as possible - especially those that you have not seen in a while or who traveled a far distance to see you
    • Agreed with looking for your groom - I was only looking at HIM while walking down the aisle, not at my guests, because I wanted to see his face and remember how he looked that first time I saw him on our wedding day.... I also kept saying "wheres my groom" throughout our reception and tried to spend as much time together as a couple as possible while still separating to talk to guests
    • Have specific plans laid out for whoever is setting up your ceremony and reception site - I did not do this and whoever did it made it look like crap! I still have hard feelings over this after seeing a picture of my MIL directing the staff how to set things up.......
    • If there are unique details about your wedding make sure to let your photographer know ahead of time to get a picture of that - we had cute little straws (a la Mrs Ribbons) and cocktail napkins with our names and date printed - we do not have any professional pictures of these details that I had been excited about!
    • If you are staying at a hotel the night of your wedding make sure that your bag is packed and loaded in whatever vehicle will be taking you to your hotel - this caused me a little bit of stress at the end of the night!
    • HAVE FUN - dance with who you want to dance with, talk to the people you want to talk to, make sure to thank everyone for coming and make sure they are enjoying themselves, eat a lot, dont drink too much but just enough, relish in being the center of attention because this day only happens once!
     
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    caszos    June 2010   Florida

    I have a few I have been thinking about:

    1. Have all the stuff for the detail shots ready for your photographer.  I would have loved to get more shots of my invitations etc.  
    2. I know photojournalistic style is all the rage right night, but don't forget about portraits.  We missed some really important ones.
    3. Think of your steps throughout the day.  For example, when we got to the reception I had a few minutes to "touch up" before being announced but didn't have a makeup bag or anything like that. 
    4. If its going to be hot or cold make sure to have breaks in your timeline to let people warm up or cool down inside.  Also plan to have some water or something available so a bridesmaid doesn't have to go searching for 6 glasses of water.   
    5. Buy some umbrellas. My dad went and bought 6 or so large golf umbrellas from WalMart.  Since it didn't rain and we didn't need them, he just took them back. 

    Enjoy!

     

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