Post # 1
I guess I never understood what it would be like to know all of these things every step of the way. Are your SOs just so anxious that they told you they bought the ring, or were you there for the transaction? I see so many people on here that say things like, “He bought the ring, he spoke to my dad, he said it would happen on vacation, I know what I’m wearing for the proposal…” etc.
How do you manage the anxiety??? I would constantly be on edge if I knew so much. Do you kind of wish that it was all a surprise?
I’m not criticizing, by the way. I’m just wondering why this happens and how you keep your nerves in check. I give you credit. I’d be wearing the ring before he proposed!
Post # 3
I picked the ring, but we put in on layaway so I wouldn’t know when he picked it up. But I still knew because he didn’t hide it very well lol
I had to wait about a year before he actually proposed, but he kind of poked at me about when/where i wanted it to happen, which was in Disney World with my parents present so i pretty much knew when it was going to happen
Then he dropped the ring in the sand because we were on a beach so that pretty much took any element of surprise out of it
It was hard to wait so long and know the ring was just sitting in a box in our dresser (like i said he sucked at hiding it) but I knew I had to give him the time he needed (he is divorced, so i thought it could be a long process)
And now here we are, about a month away from our wedding. Which will be almost 2 years to the day since we got engaged. It’s been a lot of patience on my end lol
Post # 4
@KJM33: I basically picked out my ring about 6 months before he proposed. We did lots of shopping around and I looked at hundreds of rings online before I found the perfect one. From that point on I knew that the proposal and ring were on the way. At one point during waiting he told me that he had ordered the ring. Other than that I never got any details about it. He was waiting for the perfect moment the propose which ended up being during our vacation to Forida in June.
I honestly had a big feeling that he would do it during the vacation at some point. But I also thought that he would possibly do it in May when I graduated with my bachelors degree. Overall though it was not super hard to wait. I knew it was coming and I knew that I wanted him to plan it out and be able to surprise me. We would joke about it coming but I never pressured him or complained about waiting. That would have just tainted what is supposed to be a beautiful and surprising moment.
Post # 5
We had the ring custom made and it was ready about two months before he proposed. So yes every dinner, event, holiday and small vacation while waiting was torture. Well worth the wait I would say.
Post # 6
I Picked out the ring, but he went back at a later date to pay for and order it. He wanted to have some surprise to it. However, when he went to go pick it up, he told me. But only because I was having a bad day and he thought it would cheer me up. I think he proposed about a month after that. I have absolutely no idea how I managed to keep myself from snooping before then. I think deep down, I kind of wanted it to be a surprise too.
Post # 7
- Wedding: July 2013 - Rock Hill Country Club, Manorville NY
We looked at rings together. He didn’t mean for me to know when he ordered it, but he forgot to log out of my Etsy account! I was home when it was delivered a month ago. He hid it right away, and I haven’t tried to find it. He hasn’t proposed yet, but according to a conversation he left open on facebook with my sister, it’s happening this weekend… unless he meant for me to see that!
Yes I would love for it to all be a surprise, but that means I would have been bitching at home for another month about not being engaged! I know it’s going to happen Friday, Saturday or Sunday, just don’t exactly when or how. I just know I need to have my nails done and look cute!
Post # 8
I don’t understand the point of it being surprise. I mean, it’s kind of nice if it is, but I don’t understand why it HAS to be. You both know it’s coming typically.
I picked out the ring, but I told him he could do what he wanted about the proposal. My stance is that it’s his thing. If he wants to surprise me, he can. If he wants to give me hints or tell me outright, I don’t think that would take away from it. If the two of you have talked marriage it’s not really a surprise anyway, not in the traditional sense like in old movies where the woman always looks like it came completely out of left field.
ETA: I’m just very glad to know it’s coming. The waiting is more acute now that I know he has the ring, but it’s much less painful and completely devoid of the worries I had before.
Post # 9
we looked at rings online first and when i found one i wanted, we went to stores together to see if we could find something similar. the day we bought the ring, we had just planned on looking. we had no intention of buying, but we kinda got talked into it (and it was pretty good deal). we ordered the ring that day and it arrived a few weeks later. since my fiance and i are long distance and we bought the ring in my town, i was the one who picked it up when it came in and i gave it to him to hold onto the next time i saw him. i had my ring custom made, so i wanted to “approve it” before it was officially mine. this all happened in april/may.
i actually wasn’t going too crazy with anticipation. i mean, i knew he’d propose by the end of the year and i definitely had a few moments in mind as to when he might do it (vacations, holidays, etc), but whenever one of those occasions came up, i wasn’t thinking, “is he going to do it today?….it’s going to happen today!….omg, i think today’s the day.” he eventually proposed on my birthday (in july) and even though it was one of the occasions that i’d had in mind, i was still surprised. i was too shocked and happy to see him to think about whether he was going to propose or not, so when he pulled the ring out i was totally caught off guard.
Post # 10
@KJM33: At first my SO didn’t want me to have any idea of what ring he was going to get. All he wanted was anything that was just an absolute NO. Then after starting to look he messaged me while I was away on vacation and said “about the engagement ring thing, i’m gonna have to send you some pictures and you tell me if you like them or not, because “eff” getting you something you ahve to pretend to like” <3 lol little does he know he literally couldn’t go wrong, i’d love anything he picked out
Post # 11
My SO and I had talked marriage for a while and then we decided to move in together. We’d have to tell my parents who I knew would flip out as they are extremely traditional. When I went to talk to my parents, my dad said that my SO needed to honor me by marrying me. I told him that was the plan, yada yada yada. But he said my SO needed to talk to my dad.
After telling my SO this, he told me he’d be happy to speak with my dad. During a family get together, my SO asked to speak with my dad in private. It was extremely obvious what the conversation was about. Later, my SO told me a little about the conversation.
A couple weeks after that, we went ring shopping. My SO has never bought jewelry for me and really wanted to get me something I didn’t just like but LOVED. So we picked one out together.
The reason I know when he bought it is that the statement from the jewelry store came in the mail one day and I happen to see it. I didn’t let on that I had seen it.
The reason I know when the proposal is coming is because as much as my SO is trying to make it a surprise, he’s only made it more obvious to me. It’s super sweet how much effort he’s putting into it!
Six more days ladies!!!
Post # 12
I picked out the exact ring and setting myself and was there for every step except for pickup (not that I didn’t try – haha!). It was a custom order so I saw the diamond and picked it out, and I tried on the same setting with a different, smaller diamond before deciding. They said it would take a few weeks to complete and my SO was the one to pick it up. Honestly, I thought the proposal was going to come right after pickup, but he wanted it to be a fun surprise. Needless to say, I badgered him for weeks after the expected completion day and nearly went to the store myself to check on the status! He kept telling me they hadn’t completed it and blah blah blah.
So yes, it is very nerve-racking but no, I wouldn’t have changed anything. I loved being able to pick everything out myself. It was a fun, informative process and my SO knows I love my rings 100% and I never plan to upgrade/change anything. Honestly, I find all of the WB where people are not 100% happy with their rings to be so stressful!
Post # 13
It was pretty stressful but I dont think I would have gotten the setting I did unless we went around and tried stuff on. And I LOVE my setting (and so does FI). It was also really fun to go into stores and try stuff on together! At the end it got stressful because it took a looooong time for the ring to be done but the proposal itself was still awesome and amazng and I felt all the suprise and butterflies and whatnot. I would not have changed anything… except made it take less time haha
Post # 14
@KJM33: I was not there when SO purchased the ring, but I had been hinting towards different styles I liked and then he ended up showing me the design he went with (which was a little different than I had originally said I wanted but I love it!) then I pestered SO on Valentine’s Day (cause I was hoping to get a proposal for Vday) and he admitted that he had the ring. It’s August and I don’t have the ring on my finger lol But I understand why he’s waiting, and I am focusing on my new job, trying to help him in his search for a better job, working out so that I can fit in any gown I’d like to try on, and occasionally this waiting gets to me lol but I try to stay positive. 🙂
Post # 15
This is one of the very few regrets I have–I DIDN’T handle it, at all..I mentioned it every single day. I was dyyyyying to have it, knowing he had it. He also tortured me, sending me random texts saying “OOohh, sparkly!”. But, if I could just go back in time and tell myself to enjoy the last few weeks as a girlfriend and let it happen, I would…but I still doubt I’d be in control of myself. 😛
Post # 16
I didn’t need to be surprised to be excited.
We made the decision for forever together, including all it entails.