I know you were looking for someone already married and I'm only engaged, BUT my mom has been a wedding cake vendor my entire life, so I've been around the business since I can remember. For what it's worth, I'll say something totally unhelpful: it completely depends on your priorities.
I'm spending the most on photography and the dress - that's because this is the only real opportunity I feel I'll ever have to take amazing pictures in a gorgeous dress. Food is fabulous, but there are no vendors in my small town to blow your mind. Venues I think are what you make of them. I think good photographers can capture amazing moments wherever you choose to have them. Those are my reasons, and again, my ceremony's not til May, but I hope this helps anyway. (and my mom's making my cake, so there's no chance of me prioritizing that expense!)
Brides who care more about atmosphere spend more on flowers and venues, and those who remember tastes spend the most on their food...It's all up to you :)
Best Expense: FOOD! Just remember, the only thing people will remember about any event is the food. I speak as an event planner.
Wish I would have skimped on the flowers. I now realize that I could have done centerpieces so much cheaper if I would have compromised and added some non-floral elements. I could have been just as happy with less.
This is a great question. I wish someone would have posted about this before I got married in May. So, I will give you my thoughts on this...
The things we splurged on when it came to cost were our invitations (custom designed letterpress) and our photographer.
I planned so much for so long and had an amazing wedding day. It was SO much work and it all went by SO fast. I had a great day but it wasn't until I got my professional pictures that I realized what an amazing day it actually was and that all the hard work, stress and expense was really worth it.
I have spent hours pouring over my photos, sending them to relatives, posting them online, giving them as gifts, etc. and m so glad we spent what we did because the results could not have been better. I can't stress how much I think a great photographer, including additional hours and prints, etc. is worth it. I can't go on much longer about this without sounding like a nut (maybe its too late) but really...get a great photographer you work well with and it might cost you a lot but the rewards are well worth it.
And, just cause you asked, we skimped by not hiring a videographer. I have heard stories of people that regret not hiring one but I so DO NOT regret it. I am actually really happy we did not hire one. Money well saved!
Good luck with your budget and your vendors. I am sure you'll figure it all out perfectly.
We splurged on our DJ and open bar. While no one got ridiculously drunk, and that was not the point, we didn't want our guests to have to pay money to have something to drink at our reception. We also wanted our guests to have a great night dancing, so we found the best DJ in our area and hired him.
I'm going to disagree with Niki on the best expense being food. Unless you serve some absolutely fantastic, over the top meal, people won't probably remember it. Now I'm not saying go super cheap and get any person you can to do it, but as long as the food is good and edible, it will be fine. To give you an example, we got our food for $9 a plate by having a local grocery store do it. The food was pretty good, not fantastic, but good. Everyone ate it and was full... and that's the point of the meal, right? To make sure no one goes home hungry? And middle of the road food will accomplish that for you, at least in my opinion.
I also agree with Niki on the fact that I wish I would have skimped on flowers. Sure, they look nice in pictures, but other fillers would have cost me less and still would have looked as nice.
Photographs. I splurged big time on the photos. There are some things that I didn't really splurge on though that I realized later make a huge diffrence to the guests, like food. We got so many compliments on how it was some of the best food they had ever had at a wedding. We got lucky too cause I really didn't give it that much thought when it came to picking the menu and I never went for a tatsing.
Oh Empyle, I disagree; people definitely do remember the food. How bad the food was at a wedding 2 years ago is still the butt of my family's jokes. =/ (Don't worry, the bride doesn't know! Or care!)
It really depends on your priorities and budget also partially where you live. I think wedding business is hiked up more in certain areas. We spent the bulk of our budget on our venue/food which I think will be well worth it! Next was band and photographer fell in shortly after that. I did hire a videographer though I really didn't want to. All my friends talked me into it. I hate sitting myself on video because I always sound funny and don't like the way I dance so I have a feeling we won't watch it too much. I did find the cheapest one I could though. For invitations though I LOVE letterpress I did spend a minimal amount on invitations. We actually just tied the bows on ourselves. My feeling is even though they set the tone, 95% will throw them away. I still am obsessed with my invites but that is just my take on them.
It is all a matter of what is important to you. that said:
Best splurge: A Day of Coordinator. I loved her, loved having her. Just make sure you do your homework and get someone good - a bad DOC is pretty useless.
Other expenses I am happy we put money towards: Great food, open bar the entire night, awesome band and a bus to take people to and from the reception. I did a candy buffet which was more a labor of love than an expense, but seeing the pictures of adults attacking it and how much fun they had made it all worthwhile. We had a really good photographer, but I don't think we splurged and I thrilled with the results. We also had a videographer - on the cheaper side, but a great guy who mainly does documentaries and weddings on the side - and the videos came yesterday and I can't wait to watch the whole night again!! yipppee!!!Oh and we treated everyone to hair & makeup - it was great treating my best friends to all that, so I was happy we were able to do it. But, if that wasn't in the budget, it would have been ok to skip it.
We really didn't spend a ton on flowers, which I am happy about, as I barely noticed them. I might have even spent less. Our venue had a great view onto a valley though, so didn't need much decoration. I loved my dress, but probably could have been just as happy in a less expensive one. We also didn't spend much on invitations or STDS - I thought they all came out great, but I am just not one of those people who think it is worth a lot of money - no inside envelope, limited enclosures, etc. I am happy we limited the budget here, and I could have even more.
My best wedding expense was lighting. It's usually not a necessary item on a bride's list, but for me, the splurge was money well spent. The entire ceremony was so romantic because there were uplights on the two front ceremony floral pieces, and a warm light that covered the entire front area, plus candles all the way down the aisle.
The reception had pink uplighting all around the perimeter, and a few dance floor templates in a tree branch pattern to give some dimension the dancefloor. The picture below is of my wedding reception before everyone came in for dinner. I really think that it can make any room look beautiful and dramatic.
The best money we spent was on our DJ. He provided music for our outdoor ceremony, as well as the reception. He was expensive compared to most but his service was outstanding -- we loved him!
We hired a high-end caterer so the food was by far the biggest expense. It was over-the-top and just painful -- not worth the price. I know our guests enjoyed the food but I was just sick knowing the linens alone were $800 for 60 people. (My husband chose the caterer).
Our best splurge was our photographer and our venue. The farm with woods all around, lake in front, and Blue Ridge Mountains in the background was the basis of our whole wedding... I loved it =) And our photographer was fantastic- completely captured our personalities and mood of the wedding.
I also disagree about guests remembering food. Sure, people will remember if it's horrible, but that's about it. Normal good food will appeal to more people than fancy, tiny servings anyway =P
We didn't have a florist, DJ, coordinator, or videographer.
yeah, I think the only thing your guests will remember is the food, as long as its good....that being said, they will remember it if its bad too! They don't care about the details, at all. The only thing I have had people say to me was it was so beautiful, and then they go on about the food. We definitely had amazing food though. But, I have also been to a wedding where everything about the food was crap, and everyone I was with (destination wedding for us) complained about it. You definitely don't want you guests to have to stop at mcdonalds on the way home from your wedding because the food was unedible. I think rice and beef are the hardest things to serve at a wedding. rice is always over/undercooked, and most people like their steaks a certain way - when you go to your tastings, if you want either of these, try them first! For ours, they were both amazing.
If you want to know the best thing to splurge on for yourselves, definitely photography. Its the only thing you will have to commemorate the day. A videographer is great too, especially when the whole day is a blur and you don't even remember your vows - its nice to go back and watch it.
Flowers are obviously nice, but if they know what they are doing, any kind of flower looks good. You can definitely manage to get away with spending less on that stuff. As a guest, the invites are a complete waste of time and money. No one cares! And keep in mind they really do just get thrown out. Those are simply for your happiness. What you and FI wear is very important, but you can totally find a dress cheap. And the music is important, but really, all they have to do is play what you want them to play, so pick someone who clearly enjoys what they are doing, listens to you, and is on the same wavelength. Don't get someone who wants to be the life of the party and put on a show. DJ's can definitely be affordable. Music will make or break the night....so aim for a particular direction. We wanted an upbeat happy cocktail hour, so we had a jazz band. Then we wanted a mellow, romantic dinner, so the dj played that type of music. Then we wanted a party! We made sure he wasn't into the cheesy wedding crap, and everyone was dancing all night.
SOme things are more important to different people....but I think everyone will agree that your photos are the most important. Just don't get caught up in all the extra crap....none of it matters.
Our top priorities were food (including cake) and music, in that order. We got lucky with a very affordable but completely amazing DJ, and two of our talented friends made our cake (which was delicious) so we ended up putting 2/3 of our budget into catering/drinks. Two years later, we still get compliments about the beef tenderloin and the good booze.
Since we approached our wedding reception as a really fun party to throw for the most important folks in our lives, we wanted to wine and dine them well, and I think we did that.
posted by mhb7 posts 3 months ago
Geez, I'm cheating. I haven't had the wedding yet, but I've been a guest at many many many and have worked at many more.
Good things/ things almost everyone will notice and care about:
1. food: everyone eats -- doesn't need to be fancy, but it must be tasty!
2. open bar: most people drink; all people who drink like free drinks.
3. music: most people dance. A good rule of thumb: a mediocre dj is better than a mediocre band: more songs to play, and they all sound like they're supposed to -- which makes it easier to shake your tail feathers.
Another thing I've noticed is that a more formal atmosphere can make for a duller, more subdued party. Whether or not you want a fun party is up to you, and you are the best judge of how to make your guests happy. Just something to keep in mind.
I didn't pay for my DOC (she is my brother's girlfriend) but I was SO glad to have someone making sure everyone had directions to the ceremony and finding people for pictures. She was awesome.
I wish I had spent more on photography. We spent $1500 and the photos were fine, but I'd recommend either making sure beforehand your photog can give you the kind of pictures you want (I wish I had more normal, frameable photos of me and my husband - I'm pretty bummed about this actually) or getting the best one you can afford.
I'm glad we spent $$ on a nice reception venue. It was comfortable and homey with plenty of space to move around in, and our venue took care of EVERYTHING. This really made the party. Also, it was a hotel which we bought out for the occasion, and people really appreciated the funness factor - staying in the same location all weekend, running into family and friends, and being able to walk back to their rooms after the party.
In the end, the only thing I would have cut out was the limo expense - not really worth the $300. We could've driven ourselves just fine.
Things I spent less (or no) $ on that were perfect:
-My dress (ebay) was just fine. I loved it.
-Flowers - we went slightly cheaper than other bay area vendors, and we LOVED them
-Officiant, ceremony musician - friends. This really made the ceremony personal.
-The aforementioned DOC. She rocked it, and I was able to have a stress-free wedding because of her.
I splurged on Videography (Wedding Technology in WA). Even the photography was an afterthought compared to how much I wanted a quality video. I'm glad we did and so is everyone who views it...it's the only wedding video I've ever seen that people actually wanted to watch. We just got a call from my guy's mom saying that it was awesome and her husband (who wasn't at the wedding) couldn't wait to watch the whole thing.
Why it was important to us: no one in my family has any real home videos, and we've lost so many dear people that it became important to me to document our family. With video, you get to capture their mannerisms, sounds, and the way they interact with everyone. Our family won't live forever, but they do in a way in video.
Everything else was a skimp, but not in a bad way at all. I made my own wedding cake. Not only did I save myself money, but I got the exact cake I wanted (my grandma's wartime recipe). My dress was a skimp (ebay for $275), but was my dream dress. We skipped alcohol because it wasn't important to us. We skimped on flowers (a gift from my boss) and only had my bouquet, two corsages and three bouts. Seriously, we made a game of saving so much money, that the video was half of our budget.
My advice is to have each of you pick your top three and decide that's where you want the money to show. If you can get away cheap on your top three, it's even better.
what was your BEST wedding expense? What would you recommend splurging on and what do you wish you had skimped on? (ie photography, coordinator, etc)
Thanks in advance!
posted by MM 26 posts 3 months agoI know you were looking for someone already married and I'm only engaged, BUT my mom has been a wedding cake vendor my entire life, so I've been around the business since I can remember. For what it's worth, I'll say something totally unhelpful: it completely depends on your priorities.
I'm spending the most on photography and the dress - that's because this is the only real opportunity I feel I'll ever have to take amazing pictures in a gorgeous dress. Food is fabulous, but there are no vendors in my small town to blow your mind. Venues I think are what you make of them. I think good photographers can capture amazing moments wherever you choose to have them. Those are my reasons, and again, my ceremony's not til May, but I hope this helps anyway. (and my mom's making my cake, so there's no chance of me prioritizing that expense!)
Brides who care more about atmosphere spend more on flowers and venues, and those who remember tastes spend the most on their food...It's all up to you :)
posted by Habersham 9 posts 3 months agoBest Expense: FOOD! Just remember, the only thing people will remember about any event is the food. I speak as an event planner.
Wish I would have skimped on the flowers. I now realize that I could have done centerpieces so much cheaper if I would have compromised and added some non-floral elements. I could have been just as happy with less.
posted by Niki 432 posts 3 months agoThis is a great question. I wish someone would have posted about this before I got married in May. So, I will give you my thoughts on this...
The things we splurged on when it came to cost were our invitations (custom designed letterpress) and our photographer.
I planned so much for so long and had an amazing wedding day. It was SO much work and it all went by SO fast. I had a great day but it wasn't until I got my professional pictures that I realized what an amazing day it actually was and that all the hard work, stress and expense was really worth it.
I have spent hours pouring over my photos, sending them to relatives, posting them online, giving them as gifts, etc. and m so glad we spent what we did because the results could not have been better. I can't stress how much I think a great photographer, including additional hours and prints, etc. is worth it. I can't go on much longer about this without sounding like a nut (maybe its too late) but really...get a great photographer you work well with and it might cost you a lot but the rewards are well worth it.
And, just cause you asked, we skimped by not hiring a videographer. I have heard stories of people that regret not hiring one but I so DO NOT regret it. I am actually really happy we did not hire one. Money well saved!
Good luck with your budget and your vendors. I am sure you'll figure it all out perfectly.
Anyone else splurge on their photographer??
posted by MrsSpitzer 75 posts 3 months agoWe splurged on the photography. It was our most expensive expense, and was 1/2 of our budget.
posted by NiftyBa 95 posts 3 months agoWe splurged on our DJ and open bar. While no one got ridiculously drunk, and that was not the point, we didn't want our guests to have to pay money to have something to drink at our reception. We also wanted our guests to have a great night dancing, so we found the best DJ in our area and hired him.
I'm going to disagree with Niki on the best expense being food. Unless you serve some absolutely fantastic, over the top meal, people won't probably remember it. Now I'm not saying go super cheap and get any person you can to do it, but as long as the food is good and edible, it will be fine. To give you an example, we got our food for $9 a plate by having a local grocery store do it. The food was pretty good, not fantastic, but good. Everyone ate it and was full... and that's the point of the meal, right? To make sure no one goes home hungry? And middle of the road food will accomplish that for you, at least in my opinion.
I also agree with Niki on the fact that I wish I would have skimped on flowers. Sure, they look nice in pictures, but other fillers would have cost me less and still would have looked as nice.
posted by empyle1 34 posts 3 months agoPhotographs. I splurged big time on the photos. There are some things that I didn't really splurge on though that I realized later make a huge diffrence to the guests, like food. We got so many compliments on how it was some of the best food they had ever had at a wedding. We got lucky too cause I really didn't give it that much thought when it came to picking the menu and I never went for a tatsing.
posted by MrsDavis 66 posts 3 months agoOh Empyle, I disagree; people definitely do remember the food. How bad the food was at a wedding 2 years ago is still the butt of my family's jokes. =/ (Don't worry, the bride doesn't know! Or care!)
posted by rebecca 989 posts 3 months agoIt really depends on your priorities and budget also partially where you live. I think wedding business is hiked up more in certain areas. We spent the bulk of our budget on our venue/food which I think will be well worth it! Next was band and photographer fell in shortly after that. I did hire a videographer though I really didn't want to. All my friends talked me into it. I hate sitting myself on video because I always sound funny and don't like the way I dance so I have a feeling we won't watch it too much. I did find the cheapest one I could though. For invitations though I LOVE letterpress I did spend a minimal amount on invitations. We actually just tied the bows on ourselves. My feeling is even though they set the tone, 95% will throw them away. I still am obsessed with my invites but that is just my take on them.
posted by pinklau325 119 posts 3 months agoIt is all a matter of what is important to you. that said:
Best splurge: A Day of Coordinator. I loved her, loved having her. Just make sure you do your homework and get someone good - a bad DOC is pretty useless.
Other expenses I am happy we put money towards: Great food, open bar the entire night, awesome band and a bus to take people to and from the reception. I did a candy buffet which was more a labor of love than an expense, but seeing the pictures of adults attacking it and how much fun they had made it all worthwhile. We had a really good photographer, but I don't think we splurged and I thrilled with the results. We also had a videographer - on the cheaper side, but a great guy who mainly does documentaries and weddings on the side - and the videos came yesterday and I can't wait to watch the whole night again!! yipppee!!!Oh and we treated everyone to hair & makeup - it was great treating my best friends to all that, so I was happy we were able to do it. But, if that wasn't in the budget, it would have been ok to skip it.
We really didn't spend a ton on flowers, which I am happy about, as I barely noticed them. I might have even spent less. Our venue had a great view onto a valley though, so didn't need much decoration. I loved my dress, but probably could have been just as happy in a less expensive one. We also didn't spend much on invitations or STDS - I thought they all came out great, but I am just not one of those people who think it is worth a lot of money - no inside envelope, limited enclosures, etc. I am happy we limited the budget here, and I could have even more.
posted by Janna19 343 posts 3 months agohi!
My best wedding expense was lighting. It's usually not a necessary item on a bride's list, but for me, the splurge was money well spent. The entire ceremony was so romantic because there were uplights on the two front ceremony floral pieces, and a warm light that covered the entire front area, plus candles all the way down the aisle.
The reception had pink uplighting all around the perimeter, and a few dance floor templates in a tree branch pattern to give some dimension the dancefloor. The picture below is of my wedding reception before everyone came in for dinner. I really think that it can make any room look beautiful and dramatic.
Good luck!!!
~Emilie
posted by pinkorchidweddings 7 posts 3 months agoThe best money we spent was on our DJ. He provided music for our outdoor ceremony, as well as the reception. He was expensive compared to most but his service was outstanding -- we loved him!
We hired a high-end caterer so the food was by far the biggest expense. It was over-the-top and just painful -- not worth the price. I know our guests enjoyed the food but I was just sick knowing the linens alone were $800 for 60 people. (My husband chose the caterer).
We did not have:
- an event planner
- a DOC
- limo
- videographer
- photo booth
- engagement photos
posted by MrsPomegranate 72 posts 3 months agoOur best splurge was our photographer and our venue. The farm with woods all around, lake in front, and Blue Ridge Mountains in the background was the basis of our whole wedding... I loved it =) And our photographer was fantastic- completely captured our personalities and mood of the wedding.
I also disagree about guests remembering food. Sure, people will remember if it's horrible, but that's about it. Normal good food will appeal to more people than fancy, tiny servings anyway =P
We didn't have a florist, DJ, coordinator, or videographer.
posted by peihan17 222 posts 3 months agoyeah, I think the only thing your guests will remember is the food, as long as its good....that being said, they will remember it if its bad too! They don't care about the details, at all. The only thing I have had people say to me was it was so beautiful, and then they go on about the food. We definitely had amazing food though. But, I have also been to a wedding where everything about the food was crap, and everyone I was with (destination wedding for us) complained about it. You definitely don't want you guests to have to stop at mcdonalds on the way home from your wedding because the food was unedible. I think rice and beef are the hardest things to serve at a wedding. rice is always over/undercooked, and most people like their steaks a certain way - when you go to your tastings, if you want either of these, try them first! For ours, they were both amazing.
If you want to know the best thing to splurge on for yourselves, definitely photography. Its the only thing you will have to commemorate the day. A videographer is great too, especially when the whole day is a blur and you don't even remember your vows - its nice to go back and watch it.
Flowers are obviously nice, but if they know what they are doing, any kind of flower looks good. You can definitely manage to get away with spending less on that stuff. As a guest, the invites are a complete waste of time and money. No one cares! And keep in mind they really do just get thrown out. Those are simply for your happiness. What you and FI wear is very important, but you can totally find a dress cheap. And the music is important, but really, all they have to do is play what you want them to play, so pick someone who clearly enjoys what they are doing, listens to you, and is on the same wavelength. Don't get someone who wants to be the life of the party and put on a show. DJ's can definitely be affordable. Music will make or break the night....so aim for a particular direction. We wanted an upbeat happy cocktail hour, so we had a jazz band. Then we wanted a mellow, romantic dinner, so the dj played that type of music. Then we wanted a party! We made sure he wasn't into the cheesy wedding crap, and everyone was dancing all night.
SOme things are more important to different people....but I think everyone will agree that your photos are the most important. Just don't get caught up in all the extra crap....none of it matters.
posted by dreambml 429 posts 3 months agoOur top priorities were food (including cake) and music, in that order. We got lucky with a very affordable but completely amazing DJ, and two of our talented friends made our cake (which was delicious) so we ended up putting 2/3 of our budget into catering/drinks. Two years later, we still get compliments about the beef tenderloin and the good booze.
Since we approached our wedding reception as a really fun party to throw for the most important folks in our lives, we wanted to wine and dine them well, and I think we did that. posted by mhb 7 posts 3 months agoGeez, I'm cheating. I haven't had the wedding yet, but I've been a guest at many many many and have worked at many more.
Good things/ things almost everyone will notice and care about:
1. food: everyone eats -- doesn't need to be fancy, but it must be tasty!
2. open bar: most people drink; all people who drink like free drinks.
3. music: most people dance. A good rule of thumb: a mediocre dj is better than a mediocre band: more songs to play, and they all sound like they're supposed to -- which makes it easier to shake your tail feathers.
Another thing I've noticed is that a more formal atmosphere can make for a duller, more subdued party. Whether or not you want a fun party is up to you, and you are the best judge of how to make your guests happy. Just something to keep in mind.
posted by bluegreenjean 118 posts 3 months agoI didn't pay for my DOC (she is my brother's girlfriend) but I was SO glad to have someone making sure everyone had directions to the ceremony and finding people for pictures. She was awesome.
I wish I had spent more on photography. We spent $1500 and the photos were fine, but I'd recommend either making sure beforehand your photog can give you the kind of pictures you want (I wish I had more normal, frameable photos of me and my husband - I'm pretty bummed about this actually) or getting the best one you can afford.
I'm glad we spent $$ on a nice reception venue. It was comfortable and homey with plenty of space to move around in, and our venue took care of EVERYTHING. This really made the party. Also, it was a hotel which we bought out for the occasion, and people really appreciated the funness factor - staying in the same location all weekend, running into family and friends, and being able to walk back to their rooms after the party.
In the end, the only thing I would have cut out was the limo expense - not really worth the $300. We could've driven ourselves just fine.
Things I spent less (or no) $ on that were perfect:
-My dress (ebay) was just fine. I loved it.
-Flowers - we went slightly cheaper than other bay area vendors, and we LOVED them
-Officiant, ceremony musician - friends. This really made the ceremony personal.
-The aforementioned DOC. She rocked it, and I was able to have a stress-free wedding because of her.
posted by Maude 131 posts 3 months agowe spent the most on the food for our reception since it was a chinese banquet so we don't really see that as a splurge....
however, hands down...the next vendor i spent the most money on was my photographer and TOTALLY worth it!
posted by Joanne 147 posts 3 months agoI forgot to mention that I had a skilled co-worker do my makeup. I am so glad I did that instead of a $$$ pro!
posted by Maude 131 posts 3 months agoI love these posts!
I splurged on Videography (Wedding Technology in WA). Even the photography was an afterthought compared to how much I wanted a quality video. I'm glad we did and so is everyone who views it...it's the only wedding video I've ever seen that people actually wanted to watch. We just got a call from my guy's mom saying that it was awesome and her husband (who wasn't at the wedding) couldn't wait to watch the whole thing.
Why it was important to us: no one in my family has any real home videos, and we've lost so many dear people that it became important to me to document our family. With video, you get to capture their mannerisms, sounds, and the way they interact with everyone. Our family won't live forever, but they do in a way in video.
Everything else was a skimp, but not in a bad way at all. I made my own wedding cake. Not only did I save myself money, but I got the exact cake I wanted (my grandma's wartime recipe). My dress was a skimp (ebay for $275), but was my dream dress. We skipped alcohol because it wasn't important to us. We skimped on flowers (a gift from my boss) and only had my bouquet, two corsages and three bouts. Seriously, we made a game of saving so much money, that the video was half of our budget.
My advice is to have each of you pick your top three and decide that's where you want the money to show. If you can get away cheap on your top three, it's even better.
posted by Angel 629 posts 3 months ago