Post # 1
1. What gave you the strength to do it? Did you have an aha moment?
2. What happened after? Did your SO come back, and you got married? Did you go off and become a famous novelist? Did you cry and regret it every day?
3. What helpful suggestions can you give those who are considering walking because they are so over waiting?
4. Would you do things any differently?
Post # 3
I dated my ex for two years.
I didn’t have an ‘ah-ha’ moment, after a certain point I kind of knew nothing was ever going to happen between us but I held on for so long because I thought I had loved him. At the time in the back of my mind, all I could think of was “What if he’s going to be the one that got away?”
It’s not that he didn’t treat me well overall but whenever we would clash he was emotionally distant, it was honestly pretty frustrating, everything felt like an uphill battle. Whenever I wanted to talk about our future or where we stood or even for more attention, he would promise to change and although he would be caring a few days he would revert back to his old ways.
After a certain point, I was tired of all the empty promises, marriage is the one of the few things in life that I’ve ever wanted, if he wasn’t going to give it to me I decided that I would find someone else who could. Not that I would settle, I wanted the whole shebang. I had the whole ugly cry but at that stage I was done.
When I ended things with him, he was shocked probably because he thought I would stick around forever, I never asked him though. Soon after I found my current guy, he’s not FI status yet but we’ve already talked about marriage and have decided to marry after I finish my Masters. He’s everything I could have ever have asked for. I don’t really have a checklist but if I did he would check everything off and more, he’s my best friend. We’ve been together for almost a year now.
My ex did come back several times, saying he’s never met anyone like me and fessed up to treating me poorly but he hoped that we could start things up again. But honestly, why would I leave someone so amazing for my ex? what kind of life shattering event would cause my ex to change anyway too? He had his chance whenver I tried talking to him about making things different.
If I could change anything differently I would have left him sooner and saved myself some misplaced heartache. It’s a little common to hear this around the site but trust a guy on his actions, it’ll show you what kind of man he is.
Post # 4
Marriage is something that is so important to me. I think as a culture we have gone away from that a bit, because saying you will love someone is hard… Some say its even impossible.
My story was pretty crazy. I was with someone that day in and day out I had to make excuses for. It wasn’t all bad- but most of it was terrible. He actually did propose, but it was so awful and not heartfelt that it left me feeling incredibly empty.
I left him with a ring on my finger but an emptiness in my heart. It was never going to be the love I knew marriage should be based on.
I have never regretted my decision to walk away. Not once. I am truly deeply much happier and with a man that I would never walk on, he’s worth waiting for. But what now what? I don’t think he’ll keep me waiting because he knows how important it is to me. He’s a once in a lifetime guy.
i think you should walk and find your true happiness. I have read your posts before and I don’t think your boyfriend is a bad man, just not the one for you. Good luck bee!
Post # 5
Thank you! And I agree that marriage is important – it certainly is to me, and not something I’m willing to give up.