Post # 1
please, please strongly consider who you want to stand up in your wedding before you actually commit. Sometimes the people you think you want to be up at the altar with you end up being someone that just makes you hurt.
I could hit myself on the head so many times for the fact that I decided to have my FI’s ex-roommate stand up when she’s done nothing but push me away as much as possible since I asked her. I haven’t talked to her in over a month and the last time I did she told me that she felt sooo bad for having put me off for so long. But she did nothing to change, has not worked any harder. I don’t even have to hang out all the time, but if you call/text me at all it at least shows you have some interest in me. I ended up asking her to be a BM because I wanted us to get closer, because I thought she was sweet, but it seems like she’s done nothing but be the most insincere, flaky person I’ve known.
So, please, save yourself from the trouble and wait a while after the excitement dies down after the engagement before you pick your ladies.
Post # 3
very good advice! I had mine picked out before I was even engaged, and announced them shortly there after..but they’re people I know will stick around. My sister is my MOH, my FI’s two sisters, my closest cousin, and my childhood best friend. Otherwise, I definitely would have waited.
Post # 4
@Mrs.H2B: I just was so freaking excited. I was to the moon and back (and still am) and at the time I had picked girls I seemed to be my good friends (I don’t have a lot so that was pretty much like four out of my six friends).
Post # 5
Thanks for the advice. I almost asked FI’s best friend’s girlfriend just because I felt bad. I mean, I get along with her really well and consider her a friend, but only would have asked her because she told me she would have me stand up if her and her boyfriend got married. I’m glad I didn’t because their relationship has kind of been on the rocks lately. I’m having my 4 best friends that I have been friends with since 2nd grade and middle school and also FI’s sister who I consider one of my closest friends.
Post # 7
This is really good advice. I have a LONG engagement, and I haven’t officially asked anyone yet (although it is understood that my two best friends, who helped FI pick out the ring, will obviously be there!). There are a few other girls that I’m close with now, but the wedding is in 3 years. I have no idea what will happen between now and then! So I just told everyone that I’m waiting until at least the year and a half mark to ask anyone, and luckily they were all very understanding!