Post # 1
How did you deal with the sadness and discouragement? What were your coping strategies?
We just started cycle 11 (!) with no luck so far.
I know it will happen for us someday, I just don’t know when. I am having the hardest time keeping my chin up, especially when I see that my husband is now starting to feel down every time we are unsuccessful. I feel guilty, sad, and frustrated and don’t know how to get rid of these feelings.
I don’t like pity parties.
So…. hit me. How did you make it feel better?
Post # 3
@runningcali: It’s really hard. Have you joined the 1+year TTC thread? It’s a great place to vent your frustrations, lots of support and women going through the same thing. For me I try to avoid as much baby stuff as possible. We have started the process of figuring out our TTC issues so we are working toward actually having a baby, which definitely helps. Have you had any tests done to diagnose infertility?
Post # 4
We are still TTC (Cycle10), no luck yet but the thing that helps us is to stay very realistic and having a plan. I already have a pre-existing condition so soon we’ll be seeking fertility testing and if that doesn’t work out our next step in “the plan” is to seek out adoption options.
We heard of too many people getting stressed out or divorced over TTC issues that it was important to us that we also try to not have this happen to us.
Post # 5
@runningcali: it’s hard. I’m on my 16th cycle and unfortunately for me it hasn’t gotten any easier. I’ve seen where some ladies do something you can’t do while pregnant when you get AF.
Post # 6
@runningcali: At the end of cycle 10 but 1 year TTC after MMC and chemical. I’ve started to see a counsellor (after the MC) and have started acupuncture which really helps with stress levels. No quick fixes unfortunately. I use deep 10 app to help with sleep. I’ve also found talking to close friends helps too.
We’ve also decided to do something every month that we couldn’t do when pregnant to keep our moods up. As I’m a nervous flyer I won’t fly pregnant. Next month we’ve a trip planned if not KU!
Post # 7
I was very fortunate to conceive in my 10th cycle of perfectly-timed intercourse. Everyone has different coping strategies, but honestly, for me, it was buying baby things. It was working on little projects that would go into the baby’s room. It was constantly adjusting a baby registry for myself. It was daydreaming about what I would do at a baby shower.
I wish I knew why you can try and try and try…and conceive after months and months of doing exactly the same thing. I won’t give you the same trite crap we’ve all heard again and again from the preggers societies, but it is what helped me.
That and bawling my eyes out with a bottle of wine every month.
It made me feel less powerless; it was as though I was saying to fate and my reproductive organs, “Well, I’m going to be ready anyway and it’s going to be awesome, and all you can do is sit back and cry at how proactive I am.”
As others are also saying, make a plan. We went to see an RE in cycle 9 to get the ball rolling. He wanted us to do the whole nine years: HSG, bloodwork for me, SA for him, blahblahblah.
We decided to give it one more cycle. We planned to start with the blood work and SA at the beginning of cycle 11.
You can, of course, narrow problems down quite a bit by looking at your cycles, BBTs and ovulation tests. Odds are if those check out, the problem’s on his end. You could still, of course, have a blockage in your tubes, but ruling him out first (for $100 – $150) is a good idea.
Post # 8
For me, my lowest point pushed me to make an appt with my obgyn who promptly ordered tests and we discovered the problem within a month and I started clomid. This was after perfect timed sexy times with charting for 10m. Once I knew it was no longer in my hands alone I felt worlds better.
Post # 9
The ladies on the TTC 1+ thread get all of the thanks for keeping me sane.