(Closed) For VIRGIN brides…. Honeymoon

posted 7 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
3142 posts
Sugar bee

Do you bring your self to orgasm?  If yes, I would suggest doing that at least once before doing anything.  It will most def loosen you up.

Post # 4
Member
5148 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

My first time didn’t “hurt”. It was more like a pressure and a slight discomfort at first, but definately not “painful”.

Post # 5
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

Ok first off I would say yes it can be a scary thing. Your first time may not be the most comfortable thing that ever happened to you, but most of the time it isnt going to be unbarable pain. If you are in pain you just tell him.. hes not just going to not care and continue this is your husband were talking about (by then he will be ๐Ÿ™‚ )

The main thing that you are doing wrong here is freaking out about the whole thing before it even happens… There is not sense working yourself up for it when its not right now. As for you I think when the time does come that its going to happen the most important thing for you to do is relax. The more tensed up you are the more you are squeezing your muscles. The more you squeeze your muscles the more uncomfortable its going to be. Your vagina is a muscle and it will hurt ish if your super tense.

I really dont know what else to tell you dear. I hope this somewhat helps. Just breathe it will be okay!!

Post # 6
Member
2214 posts
Buzzing bee

My first time didn’t hurt. But if you’re scared/nervous, then just take it slow. Have a glass or two of wine, turn down the lights, and just start with kissing.  That always get me good to go. ๐Ÿ™‚ Foreplay is really nice too, so I wouldn’t rush that process.  You may want to have some lube handy if the friction is bothering you. 

Post # 7
Member
724 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’m not waiting, but was a virgin until I slept with my FI. The sex part didn’t actually hurt, but afterwards it did! I had major cramping the next day, so maybe be prepared for that. Buy some lubricant. Even if you’re in the mood, it can still help, I think. And just go slowly. Don’t go from zero to sixty. Make out. Slowly take your clothes off. Maybe take a shower or a jacuzzi together. Sex experts encourage foreplay for a reason!

Post # 8
Member
293 posts
Helper bee

So… all of the advice is good. The thing to remember is, everyone was a virgin once, and everybody managed it somehow! For some people it hurts more than others. But even if it hurts a lot, you and your husband will figure out how to make it work! Even if it doesn’t happen the first time you try it, worst case scenario. Just be patient and, in the moment, you’ll figure it out. It’s not something you can pre-plan, really.

Post # 10
Member
4513 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@rolling berry: exactly.

You can’t pre-plan it. I would try not to obsess about it. It’s going to happen the way it’s going to happen. 

Post # 14
Member
2496 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

DH and I both were on our honeymoon also.  It did hurt the first few times, but after that it didn’t anymore.  Bring old underwear, and I also recommend an ice pack because it just felt soothing to me the first day after (after that I didn’t need it).

You both need to take the time to get to know each other’s bodies, how they work, what they’re like, and just take your time.  No one says you have to have sex the first night, so just relax, take it slowly, make out a lot, and eventually it’ll happen and it’ll be fun!  I recommend “Intended For Pleasure” by Ed and Gaye Wheat as a really great resource for couples who have questions like yours.  It answers a lot of questions very honestly and gives a lot of suggestions for dealing with common sex questions for less experienced people.

Post # 15
Member
3601 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@MuchGreater: Are you able to wear tampons? I ask because I had two friends who had to be surgically opened before they could have sex. They knew beforehand, though because they had so much pain with tampons.

Post # 16
Member
2894 posts
Sugar bee

My first time wasn’t painful. Ive had uncomfortable experiences since but they were due to the fact that I wasn’t into it on those occassions and women are wonderfully complex creatures. ๐Ÿ™‚ If we aren’t there mentally, we might not be there physically. Be open, have fun, relax, go slow. And above all else, communicate. ๐Ÿ™‚

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